Monday, December 6, 2021

6 Stages You Go Through In Love

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Love is the most beautiful of all emotions ever felt by man. Lucky are the ones who experience love. Luckier are those who spend their lives with the people they love. And luckiest must be those who have their loved ones even in the last moments of their breath. While dying, grumbling, losing, cheating and getting away is easy, loving someone with all your heart, mind and soul, without expectations is a hard, selfless way to act.

Love is a tyrant sparing none. While for many, love happens most unexpectedly in the most unexpected time, there’s no fair and fine way to be in love. It is the most powerful feeling that involves great liking, but it’s always hard to conclude if it’s an in-a-moment thing or happens as a feel-packed process that is time-framed. People in love go through a series of emotions, and they keep falling in and out of it until they realize they have fallen in, and there is no way out. Above everything, people grow in love and not fall in it as most people describe it.

Here is a list of all those stages that one experiences adequately and at times unknowingly while surrendering to love-

1. Attraction

A boy attracted to a beautiful young girl
By eldar nurkovic/ Shutterstock

Eyes probably are the most admired organ in Bollywood songs! Ever wondered why there are so many of them with lyrics either demonstrating, praising, eulogising or admiring the eyes? Because it all begins with a look. Everyone remembers the first sight of their crush better than any graphic presentation. There is a reason why our eyes get stuck to just one out of so many pretty faces. And if at some time, while trying to steal a glimpse of him, he is found to be looking at you already- the heart never asks for your will to skip a beat—love blooms with a spark that you can’t resist.


2. Infatuation

A young girl and a guy infatuated  with one another
By VGstockstudio/ Shutterstock

Things begin to pick pace when prolonged attraction gets too intense to hide. Infatuation demands a lot more than attraction. There grows a sense of ‘want’ and ‘to be with’. You begin to look for reasons to spend time with the one you can’t stop thinking about. And probably, the time when this person is around is the best time of the day. Nights are engrossed with their memories, often tiring you to sleep. Everything around seems beautiful- the wind is not dustier anymore; being alone is no boring anymore.

It’s romanticism all the way.


3. Physical Longing

The heart is exposed to unknown desires. The ‘want’ becomes the ‘need’. Even a slight casual touch of that person sets you to another world. You can clearly feel his voice even when you are physically distant. Though transient, you develop your own world of fantasies. Fantasies that only you have access to. Love is simply amazing. It does amazing things. Things beyond all settled limits.


4. Obsession

Girlfriend obsessing over her boyfriend
By New Africa/ Shutterstock

Being obsessed is often seen in a negative light. But this is an inexplicable part of love. The level of obsession may vary. Some control it in fear of losing loved ones. Others submit themselves and find dissatisfaction, not having their loved ones around. They look for reasons to have this person by their side at all times. Find hard to accept their level of liberation and often end up putting limits on them. Everything happens out of prevailing insecurities. But love here is too innocent to understand all these. Being mad in love at this stage is unavoidable, but love has its own ways of imparting lessons.


5. Belongingness

This is the more mature stage of love when two people, having fallen for each other, find that their world is overwhelming. They help their partners grow. They stand for each other in all walks of life. They might not be talking for hours to express their love but are always there when one needs the other. Because when they hold each other’s hand, their worlds become a tad easy. More like a prolonged friendship that grows with time; their love blossoms with age. This love is compassionate and self-explanatory.


6. Eternity

Eternity symbol
By Natali _ Mis/ Shutterstock

‘ The richest love is that which submits itself to the arbitration of time’. 

I come across this quote quite often but was able to understand it fully after this incident- While in the park for my morning walks, I often found an octogenarian couple, holding hands, taking small steps at a time, probably to support each other. This always got me thinking about how happy and blessed they were together. With all the positivity that they oozed, I could not resist having a small interaction with them one fine morning. It was then that I found out that they were not married to each other. They had fallen in love when young, but they could not unite under the institution of marriage despite relentless efforts. Both lived a fulfilling life, marrying and raising kids with their respective partners. They lived life with what life offered them.

Now that their partners had departed to rest somewhere in heaven and their kids lived abroad, the two had discovered the reasons to be with each other again.

‘Life demands a lot, but love never demands anything’- as Mrs Thomas concludes in her swift shivering voice, I find Mr Shah looking at her with the love that has not faded a bit, not even a shade lighter.


Somewhere in this life, we all need to love and to be loved more than anything else.

” ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”


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