Apsara Pandey is a parent blogger, a full-time homemaker, and a passionate cook. She is interested in cooking and making kid-friendly meals and recipes. Apsara has pursued a course in child nutrition from Stanford University.
Apsara Pandey is a geologist who worked in India’s oil and gas industry. As her husband was in the same sector, she moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Apsara has an Instagram page entitled ‘bubsandmommy‘ where she frequently posts kid-friendly recipes, tips, and tricks about baby food, DIY projects, and BLW tips. She thinks good parenting at the early stage of the baby’s growth makes a kid more independent and smarter.
In conversation with Icy Tales, Apsara Pandey gives insights about her journey from a working professional to a full-time parent blogger.
Q. Tell us about yourself, your journey, and what made you choose parent blogging.
Apsara Pandey: I’m a geologist by profession; I’m not working now. But I used to work for an oil and gas company back in India. My husband and I are both in the oil and gas sector. We moved to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, four years ago. But I didn’t intend to start parent blogging; it is just like I love cooking food. It is an important part of my life, serving my husband, and we both enjoy cooking food. During the covid time, it was a very difficult phase because we didn’t have our families around. So I used to cook all day.
Then my son Aahan was born, and I discovered baby weaning, which is how people nowadays feed their children, instead of feeding children like done in the olden days. That is what I discovered. I never thought of blogging, and I want to put across the document what I am cooking for my son and the types of recipes. I saw a good response to it, which is how it started.
Q. Your Instagram page’ bubs and mommy’ is a very interesting username. Since you are a mother, what advice can you give our mommy readers?
Apsara Pandey: One piece of advice I always give who have become recent moms and are going to become moms that ask for help is don’t try to be superwomen, don’t do everything by yourself, as today’s generation tries to do everything by themselves. It is very common in India for a mother to take on more of a role in bringing the children, the time’s father being distinct. They are only focusing on work, not focusing on the child. I think that has created a very bad equilibrium.
I’m not saying that all Indian families are distinct, but some are still there. We all know a mother knows everything about her child more than the father, which is changing because women have started asking for help. You are not gaining any bonus points just by doing it all and trying it yourself. I don’t want to be a superwoman. I want women to feel okay for asking for help from husbands, families, and friends. It is okay to ask for help.
Q. You have mentioned ‘easy-baby and kid-friendly meals. Can you tell why giving kids different varieties of food every day is important?
Apsara Pandey: What I have observed is that, whenever I see, whenever I go somewhere out to meet my friends, or I go to meet Indian families, sometimes kids don’t eat everything. I see spending a lot of time trying to make a kid eat by giving them smartphones, either giving them a screen only then a child eats. I have seen in my family that kids are not eating; they either need a screen to eat or see something while eating. So I didn’t want to go through that.
I just wanted my baby to make a positive relationship with food. Like my son has a very good relationship with food. I give my child a wide variety of food to build a better relationship with food. I’m not saying that giving screens to babies is wrong, but it should be within the limit. A kid should not be addicted to that. So sometimes the occurring screen is okay. So this is the reason I started blogging.
In India, it is common for kids to be given fewer varieties of food, and after they will eat a lot of junk food, which harms the baby’s health. I think a baby should have a good relationship with food and then grow up to have a better relationship with their body.
It is possible that even if I give my son a variety of food now, he may later not eat all of it or maybe eat all of it. But at least I’m trying to give him options, and being vegetarian is challenging for me, skipping eggs and meat. I stayed in a country that is high meat dominated.
I try to focus on my son by giving him various food. If we see the kid’s menu, we often see only the burger, pizzas, sandwiches, and junk, which are unhealthy options for our kids. It is okay to consume at least once a week. I just wanted him to be flexible. It is not very difficult to offer a variety of food to your child, and it just needs some tips and tricks in the kitchen. This can help you plan better for your kids and your family.
Q. There must be a journey full of ups and downs. Would you like to tell us something about your journey and what kept you going in the face of challenges?
Apsara Pandey: When we were also young, w played with kids. But we never thought about parenting at that period and what will we do when we became parents. But when I gave birth to my kid, that was a covid period; my husband and I were in a foreign country away from our families. On top of that, it was not an easy birth, I had many complications during my delivery, and which affected my mental state, there was a lot of anxiety.
Then I gave birth to my child, he was fine, and everything turned out well. But you carry some anxiety with you because when you are a new parent, you worry about everything from eating habits to their sleep. So it has also been a rollercoaster ride for my husband and me. We tried to prepare ourselves mentally by reading books on parenting and understanding how to deal with kids.
So, what can you do nowadays? You can join the classes where they teach about caring for a baby. It gives you the advantage of knowledge and helps you make a decision, no matter how small. I’m grateful for covid, we put in a lot of effort, and I’m proud that I did it so nicely.
Q. What did you have as a child that kids of the new generation don’t have?
Apsara Pandey: Basically, there are pros and cons on both sides. Like I remember when we were kids, we had more independence. Our parents didn’t worry so much about us. I remember climbing a tree and climbing so many places when my mom was not around me, with nobody to look after me. But now, as a parent, we have small families and have become super anxious. You are doing all the dangerous things, and nobody can take care of them.
That independent time can also hamper our child, and we start to get involved in parenting, but too much involvement is not so good. So, I think our parents may be a little distinct. As we grew up in a standard joint family, many family members were around us. People were taking care of you. When my mom was cooking, my mom was looking after everything.
I discussed it with my mom sometimes; I didn’t get as much time as she wanted to spend because she was busy with household work and daily chores. But for us, we have a lot of options. We can become more involved parents. We were dumb because there is a major gap between our generation and today’s generation. I genuinely think today’s kids are very smarter than kids of our generation.
Q. Something that you have cherished from Aahan?
Apsara Pandey: I think I am learning something every day because I have never experienced that big of emotions, how emotions change in 30 seconds. Like my son is playing with someone, and immediately, within a few seconds, he doesn’t want to play with that guy and wants to leave that child. My child taught me to say no because we were bought up in a pleasing environment.
The major takeaway I’m learning from Aahan is, to be honest about our emotions and to say ‘NO’. We could never say no to anyone. If somebody said that our elder one had arrived and told us to serve them food, or give them water, if we said no to that, it showcased that we were disrespecting them, and we could never say no to anything. Children are very honest about their emotions, and they don’t lie.
Apsara Pandey is a mom blogger and influencer on Instagram. She creates meaningful and informative content on parenting for her audience. Bub’s and mommy’s only focus is to help mothers for raising a kid through their experience and helpful content. Apsara Pandey believes that a mother is not superhuman; she also needs help.
