Ekta Dixit is a life and relationship coach and mental health professional. Ekta Dixit is a strong woman with strong beliefs and opinions and firmly believes in breaking stereotypes around mental health.
Ekta Dixit also has inspiring views on womenโs empowerment and how women should learn to love themselves. She believes that people should no longer hesitate to talk about things bothering them and speak their hearts out.
Ekta Dixit encourages people to help themselves by expressing their feelings and emotions and understanding the difference between what you can control and what you canโt.
Icy Tales in conversation with Ekta Dixit about prioritizing your mental health, loving yourself, relationships, and many more essential topics.
Q) Tell us something about your childhood and what drove you towards psychology?
Ekta Dixit โ If I have to sum things up, I lived in a typical Indian middle-class family and grew up with many belief systems regarding self-growth; my parents have always wanted and looked up to their kids doing great in their lives.
My childhood had many learning curves in terms of the lessons that I received from my parents. It was ingrained in me that I have to keep growing and do good in life, which also brings value to peopleโs lives and helps me grow my potential every day. So I can say that my childhood has contributed a lot and, in many ways, to where I am right now in my life.
During my teenage years, I used to look around and notice the kind of issues or troubles that people go through in their lives. On a very general basis, because of lots of learning lessons as a kid received from my parents, I had specific insights into life.
So I would give people advice, and then people used to come and tell me โthat this worked out for us and that was a good suggestion.โ And they used to ask me how do I know about all this, so I thought when I started seeing people with a lot of issues around me.
Like now, if I ask someone how they are doing, some of the other things might be troubling them. For me, psychology became a focal point when I was inclined as to how I could help people out.I used to think about how can I help people out through their struggles and issues. I was curious, and I wanted to know why people do what they do, why they choose, and why they have a particular belief system. It was always fascinating for me, and more to do with it is how I can add value to their lives.
Q) Seeking help for mental health is still considered taboo in many places. What is that you would say about it?
Ekta Dixit โ The good part about todayโs generation is that we are working excellently to remove these taboo topics. People are now becoming open about mental health issues, burnout, and relationship issues, especially after covid, because people have understood that mental health matters.
When people could not go out during the lockdown or figure things out, it may have affected their mental health, so people have started coming out and talking about it.
Still being a topic taboo, I wouldnโt deny that.
According to the statistics, 20% may be talking about mental health. However, for the rest, 80% still feel that if you are going through something in life that is disturbing you, their parents may tell them they can always come and speak to them or share it with their friends, but it is never advised to go and speak to a professional about it.
This is because psychology or mental health is undervalued, so there is this taboo. This is also one of the reasons I took up social media because I wanted to make sure that we are breaking these taboo topics, talking openly about depression, anxiety, and daily troubles in relationships.
It is normal because no oneโs life is comfortable and in a way they want it to be, so it is completely dynamic. I feel wrong about these taboos, but we are working towards it.
Q) Being a relationship coach, what do you think are the main problems in these times that are making people forget the value of sacrifice and compromise in a relationship?ย
Ekta Dixit โ First, what people should understand in a relationship is your relationship goals and your partnerโs. Your fantasy of a relationship might be different; maybe you want to be in a live-in-relationship and enjoy it and are unwilling to give in a lot of commitment.
Whereas for your partner, commitment must be the foremost thing. They may be looking to settle down or have kids soon. So what happens when the goals are not aligned with each other then clashes are bound to happen.
So it is vital that you first align your relationship goals and what is your fantasy of a relationship because everyone thinks and feels differently. Many people get into a relationship thinking that I have a partner, but I also want my personal space; now, someone with a different attachment style might not be comfortable with this space.
Again understand how and what you think about the relationship goals and how you can align them with your partner, and then you can save yourself from all the dramas and troubles that a person may go through in terms of a relationship.
One thing you need to do when you are in a relationship is, first and foremost, make your relationship thrive because all of us know what is dying in our relationship.
If I expect my partner to give me time and my partner is constantly avoiding me or just prioritizing his work or friends, so much so that he avoids me, then the clashes are bound to happen. So communication is the only way to get through and speak up about what you want and how you can work towards it, which is the main motto.
I think it is more to have resilience and lose out on patience. Social media can be blamed because everything has become so fast-paced that everyone wants things quickly; they are not ready to or willing to put in the effort.
They want everything like a 2-minute Maggi, a mantra for relationships too. When you are putting in the effort, consistency is the key. Every day, you have to wake up and do the same thing that is better for your relationship.
It is like daily learning, and it is not a one-day thing. It is not like every Sunday you do every best thing possible on your scale, body, and mind to nurture your relationship, and for the rest of the 6 days, it will work for itself, but no, it will not be like this. You wake up, you hustle, you grind towards that relationship, and thatโs how you can maintain it.
So people think when it comes to not compromising or not giving in that effort because everything has become so fast-paced, and people want quick resolutions. But everything takes time, so building up resilience is essential; being consistent is essential.
I also feel that when you are in a relationship, see how you can help your partner to become a better version of themselves rather than degrading them.
Q) Your journey would have been a roller coaster ride, too. Could you tell us something about your ups and downs and how you overcame all the challenges?ย
Ekta Dixit โ Everyone is some or the other way figuring out for themselves, whether it is their career, personal growth, or a relationship. I have had a very supportive family, and my family has been very supportive about everything, whether it is my personal or career growth.
So my family has been my most significant support. During any tough times, it doesnโt have to be depression, anxiety, or some mental health issue but also during simple things like a bad day, or things not happening according to the plan, so even during that time.
So one thing that has worked out is having good communication and getting support from people who have been very emphatic to me. The other thing that I have understood is that no matter what issue you are going through in life, any issue you are going through can be figured out.
If you are struggling with something right now, take a break, think about it, and figure out what you can do about it. Whenever I struggle through something, I ask myself, โWHAT CAN I DO ABOUT ITโ instead of just emulating those negative thoughts and creating bad scenarios in my head. It helps me focus on solutions rather than cribbing over the problem.
We all have these two circles in our lives, the smaller circle, which includes all the things we can control, such as my beliefs, actions, decisions, choices, judgments, and perceptions.
Then there is an outer circle with everything that I cannot control, like someone elseโs judgment, opinions, how they live their lives, or situations I may face. So, unfortunately, people focus a lot more on the outer circle than their inner circle, which is more painful. So I would say that focus on your inner circle whenever you get distracted.
Q) There are so many stereotypes surrounding women and their growth in the professional or personal spear in life. What is something you would like to tell about this?ย
Ekta Dixit โ This male patriarchy came into the picture because we gave it much importance. When we talk about womenโs empowerment, itโs all about the change in the thought. There is a very thin line between woman empowerment and woman boosting in feminism.
Many people think that feminism is putting males down, but itโs not like that. Feminism means that you are equally giving the same importance, affection, and respect to other sections of society.
When people talk about how women are being caged, it is also because of the type of upbringing and exposure. India is developing, but the first thing that women have to start is to love themselves.
Many women cannot stand up and love themselves for who they are, and if you donโt love yourself, acknowledge your power; how do you expect someone to love you, stand by you, or do this for you? So when you acknowledge your power, you can do things and achieve whatever you want to in your life.
Of course, every single homemaker has a dream; it could be as straight as living a luxurious life or having ten maids around; they need to understand that they have the power to stand by themselves.
So start doing it for yourself; when you do it for yourself, thatโs when people will understand how you need to be treated and what your goals are. People will start respecting you.
Q) Being a mental health professional, you may also go through your lists of insecurities or something that disturbs your mental peace. What do you think is the best way to deal with such incidents?ย
Ekta Dixit โ Insecurity or lack of confidence is very much natural. It is bound to come in, and even if I have been working in this industry for more than a decade now, I still have a sense of insecurity now and then. One of the most significant drawbacks is that we start comparing ourselves with others.
None of us are wholly black or white, and we are all grey, so we need to accept that. We donโt understand that a specific person has their goods and bad and you have your own set of goods and bad. Even if you ask the most prominent entrepreneur, they may also feel insecure or be scared of putting their best foot forward, no matter what.
So insecurity or lack of confidence happens naturally, even to me as a mental health professional. But I remind myself that what are the extraordinary qualities that I possess. Looking towards the brighter side truly helps.
I will not say looking at the brighter side only, because positivity can also be toxic, but I look at its practicality like these are the things that I have achieved in my life, which means I have the capacity and I can do it.
Despite being a mental health professional, I also go through these insecurities, and thatโs completely normal. I recently attended the Cosmoindia Event, where I was awarded the Mental Health Influencer of the Year 2022. I met many creators from different industries, learned many new things, and got a new perspective on their world.
Despite all this, I pushed myself to be around so I could connect and learn more from these gatherings. I didnโt know what to speak when I was on the stage because that was my first experience on such a significant level. I reminded myself that it is okay even if I make a mistake during that time, and even if I make a mistake, I have the choice to correct it.
So when I have such feelings, I look toward achievements, what troubles I had, and how I overcame them, which gives me a boost. I also tell myself that itโs okay not to feel confident at all times; itโs okay to own it; even if you make mistakes, own it, and thatโs how you will learn.
It gives you the authority to bring the change. You always have a choice; unfortunately, we live in a bubble where we think if we make a mistake, then what, then what, nothing just change it, change the narrative.
Q) Lastly, according to you, what are some critical things everyone should do to prioritize their mental well-being?
Ekta Dixit โ One, having a disciplined life. We are the victims of our thought, but the point is that thoughts can be changed; often, we tell ourselves that this may not work out or I am not good enough. It would be best to remind yourself that you can always make things work out.
When it comes to how you can prioritize mental health, you always have a set of people who boost you up instead of those who put you down, so you should be able to understand and make the difference between people who are good for your mental health and who are toxic, who are pulling you down.
So always have people who push you and make yourself better; you feel comfortable with them. Donโt do things that are just not making you feel good. Even if someone calls you for a gathering or party but you are not comfortable socializing that day, say โnoโ; itโs okay.
We often seek social validation, so you donโt need that or go through that, accept yourself, love yourself, and know your strengths.
So the first discipline in your life, eat well, sleep well, have a good set of people in your life, and most importantly, move your body because exercise is so undervalued when it comes to how much it contributes to your mental health.
So if you donโt like going to the gym, walking, or dancing for 20 minutes, do what you are comfortable with, but move your body in whatever way possible.
And lastly, speak up, communicate, and seek help if something is bothering you; this is how you will be able to figure it out. We all need mentors, even psychologists need psychologists to figure out, and it is completely fine, and you are good to go in terms of mental health.
Ekta Dixit believes that during the upbringing period, many parents teach their daughters to look after the home and the chores; even today, we have these stereotypes, not just on the rural sides of the country but also on the urban sides the country. This is very natural because we live in a male-dominated society even today.
Ekta Dixit believes that when all this is engraved in oneโs mind, this is how their life is supposed to be; the person will make that their reality. So women have started taking it as their reality, but reality can be changed. Ekta Dixit believes that you can create your reality. It is entirely up to you.
Last Updated on by Himani Rawat
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