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How To Deal With A Defiant Child


Children are difficult to deal with. One needs a lot of patience while dealing with children. When they show defiance, it’s hard not to lose one’s cool. Parents usually decide everything for their children as they are not mature enough to do it themselves. While some children accept this, others choose to defy their parents. Often, they are just irritated and feel the need to make others feel the same. We have various ways to deal with our frustration; children do not have a lot of choices. They act out, annoy their parents. Sometime, they do this to seek attention. There can be numerous reasons behind a child’s defiance. A parent or a care giver can only try to understand the reasons. After all, it’s not so easy to understand a child.

Here’s a list of few things one can do to deal with their child’s defiance:

  • Let your child know what you expect from them- You cannot expect you child to know what is right and what is wrong. You need to tell them what is acceptable and what is not. They also need to know that there will be consequences if they do not follow the rules.

  • Do not lose your cool- You are the adult and you need to calm yourself down. Do not just react because the child has done something outrageous. Children notice what we do and losing your cool at difficult times teaches them to do the same. Instead, take some time. Ask the child to think about what they have done and why they are wrong. This helps you to calm down and also makes them understand that there must have been something they have done wrong.

  • Choose your battles- Once you are responsible for a child, you try to decide everything for them. It’s okay for them to choose some things on their own, as long as it’s not harming anyone. You do not need to make them do everything your way. Sometimes, you need to let them be.

  • Communicate with your child- Children often show defiance to seek attention. You are an adult, and you are busy, but the child needs your attention. You need to take out time for the child and talk to them, try to know what’s going on in their lives.

  • No bargaining- Setting the rules and consequences is easy but enforcing them on the child consumes time and energy. You give them second chances or try to bargain with them. This shows the child that you are not serious about your own rules. They understand that they can get away even after breaking the rules.

  • Appreciate the good things- When your child does something good, however, small it is, reward them. A smile, a pat on the back or a praise can work wonders. Children crave for small things like these which we usually neglect.


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