Monday, September 27, 2021

Know The Agony When God Leads You To Divorce

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priyanka ohri
Ms. Priyanka Ohri is a Human Developmentalist. She is pursuing a master's in Human development from SNDT Women’s University, Mumbai and sustains a graduation degree in home science with a specialization in Human development from Lady Irwin College, Delhi University. She is an empathetic listener and an articulate writer.

When God leads you to divorce? It is a serious question because God sends every creature into this world in a pair of two, and sooner or later, the pair becomes legal through marriage. The vows made by two people together are serious and significant but are also conditional.

The notion of two becoming one works only if both people are interested in giving equal importance to the relationship. Otherwise, marriage can take a different turn leading to separation or divorce between the couple. Divorce is sorrowful and tragic to everyone concerned, and it is not a sin sometimes.

Though people marry by God’s will, God will never allow you to hold onto toxic marriage for long. When God leads you to divorce, he shows that he never supports abusive marriage and adulterous marriage. Hence, he wants a married couple to seek solace in divorce.

This article will give you a detailed account of when God leads you to divorce and whether or not divorce is ever in God’s plan. 

What Does The Bible Say About Divorce?

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There are times in every marriage where divorce may be the most appropriate choice for the couple. The biblical view of divorce includes four reasons; adultery/sexual immortality, physical neglect/abuse, emotional neglect/abuse, and abandonment by unbelievers.

As per bible verses, it is a myth that God forbids all divorces except for a few. In reality, it is mentioned in the old testament and new testament that God desires divorce for adultery marriages, emotional and physical abuse, sexual immortality, and abandonment.

The well-ordered faith of married men and women in God’s view on divorce inclines to nurture ill-treatment in marriage rather than eliminate it. Therefore, Christian women think that divorce is a sin so, they should adjust with their spouse and make a marriage last.

All do not have the ultimate goal to have a good marriage, and placing them into the hands of selfish and heartless people is one serious problem. God will never allow someone to survive in such marriages.

Is Divorce Ever In God’s Plan?

Divorce in the Christian community comes with considerable criticism from people. Even without completely knowing the details of the issue, others make comments that add hurt to an ongoing aching heart.

God’s word on divorce is written in the old testament and the new testament. News of divorce is not taken favorably by the Church, while some churches are supportive enough to have Christian divorce support groups. Churches want to submit the issue under the rug and pretend like it doesn’t exist.

3 Main Reasons Why God Gave Us Marriage

  1. To consecrate us (to declare sacred)
  2. To present a picture of Christ and the Church
  3. To provide a stable unit to grow a family

In a loving, Christ-centered marriage, all the above reasons are accomplished. And in a little difficult marriage, it is difficult to achieve at least one of the above reasons.

Women are struggling to make the best out of bad marriages. But when they permit their husbands to treat them poorly and unequally, they enable their husbands to continue a sin. However, the husband will be responsible to God for his actions.

When God Leads You To Divorce?

Broken marriage
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Christian divorce is bad, and God hates it. God also hates someone’s husband entangled in sin. And if divorce or separation is the ultimate way to stop the husband from sinning, God bless and support the decision of divorce because he will not lead you into sin.

But if you are already in a critical situation, it may be His will for you to get out of it. Click here to know the top 15 intriguing reasons for divorce.

God leads you to divorce when:

1. There Is Infidelity Or Adultery Or Sexual Immorality In Marriage

The word infidelity in marriage stands for a state of being unfaithful to the one who has been legally your wife or husband by the marriage covenant. People have their definition of infidelity or what it could be to induce the couple and affair partner to become disloyal to their spouse.

Many times, people think that infidelity in marriage is personal rather than factual. So, when a married man or woman performs infidelity, they either explain or receive information about what it means to be unfaithful. Such an encounter can also develop insight into why it can be a problem. 

There are different forms of infidelity in marriage:

  1. Becoming available by hiding the fact that you are married
  2. Offering loyalty to something and someone else other than the spouse
  3. Threatening divorce
  4. Emotional affair of either of the spouses
  5. Sexual affair of either of the spouses

Infidelity in a marriage can lead to an end of a marital relationship or a new beginning if the couple is ready to seek restoration.

2. There Is Abandonment In Marriage

Abandonment in marriage happens when a spouse has moved out of the marital home with no intention of coming back. The reason for abandonment can vary, and the abandoned spouse waits for a certain amount of time before filing a divorce.

The abandoned spouse is supposed to prove to the court that the other person left without a reasonable reason and abandoned all marital obligations in the process. Abandonment in marriage is not the same thing as separation.

When you are forced to move out of your house for safety or emotional reasons or escape an abusive situation, it does not count as abandonment. And, if your spouse abandons you, you have the right to file a divorce just like anyone else because abandonment is one step forward towards regaining your independence through a formal divorce.

3. There Is Abuse In Marriage

abuse in marriage
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When we think of abuse, we believe that we would assuredly identify it when we see it. Nonetheless, there are different types of abuse existing in any relationship which are hard to identify or distinguish from normal reactions.

  1. Physical abuse
  2. Sexual abuse
  3. Verbal abuse
  4. Emotional abuse
  5. Economic and academic abuse

If a husband takes a second wife, it is against God’s command to lessen the first wife’s food, clothing, or marital rights (love). He is not allowed to downgrade her to slave status, and if he is unwilling to treat her as a wife, he has to let her go so she could marry someone who would treat her properly.

The husband cannot treat her woman any way he wants. A wife has some rights which she deserves to enjoy. And if her rights are violated, then she should be set free to live her life independently.

Things God Will Not Do In Your Marriage

Most of the people who live on this Earth desire to conduct their marriages according to the principles set forth by God to make their marriages enduring. When problems occur in marriage, and God leads you to divorce, it is easy to call them God’s desire or to imagine God’s hand in this. But it is not right to blame God for mishappenings in marriage.

Although only God has power over your life, he will not do these things in your marriage:

1. God Will Not Lead You to Adultery

In the life of married couples, God will never place an opportunity in front of them which could harm their relationship that has been built in his name. He can never force either of the spouses to engage in sexual immorality.

2. God Will Never Separate You From Your Spouse

God will neither favor the severings of marriage nor condone divorce because he never separates someone from his respective spouse.

3. God Will Not Change Your Spouse for You

When the marital relationship becomes a victim of danger or wrong practices, one of the spouses offers prayer and requests God to change the heart and mind of another person.

God will not modify your spouse for you; instead, he will change your spouse for his honor because he wants you to have a spouse who treats you like you deserve to be treated and live a happily married life.

4. God Will Never Make You Hopeless

By all means, pray selflessly for your marriage without ceasing because prayer generates hope in married couples for their marriage. God answers prayers in his unexpected ways to make married men and women hopeful about their marriage.

5. God Will Never Worsen Your Situation

Whenever someone’s marriage seems to be falling, divorce and remarriage will not ease the pain. When God leads you to divorce, only he can bring you out of the problem by healing.

Divorce can destroy the couple, future of kids and break the relationship forever. Thereby, develop faith in God and consider divorce the last option to get rid of baneful marriage.

God Has a Purpose for Your Painful Divorce

Like God has a purpose for pain and suffering, he has a purpose for your painful divorce:

1. To Bring You Closer To Him

God allows pain and uses sin and destruction in this world to bring good for his people and to bring his children closer to him. It happens many times that we frequently forget how much we still need God every single day.

We often feel closest to God in the painful times of life. But even after the pain has left and you begin to heal, God hopes that your relationship with him stays just as valuable as it was in the beginning stages.

He wants two things from all humans. The first is to love Him and develop a close personal relationship with Him. Second, he asks us to love others with the same love that he loves us.

2. To Heal You And Redeem Your Life

Lord comforts us in our difficult times so that we can comfort others in their difficult times even when we are equipped with problems. It will help a person in patiently enduring the same things that he suffers.

3. To Allow You To Share Hope With Others Who Are Suffering

When God leads you to divorce, he allows you to share hope with others who are suffering. The ones who have already gone through pain and suffering know how it feels so, they share their experience with others and boost their confidence.

A woman reading a book
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For instance, God can use a divorced woman to heal someone who is going through a divorce. Some divorced women write books, some speak, some create music, and others start support groups in their neighborhood for single mothers.

How Can God Help Someone Cope With Divorce?

God helps everyone to cope with divorce
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Sometimes God saves marriages from rejection and brings back the marital relationship before it’s broken. When God leads you to divorce, he ensures peace through his verses written in holy books like The Bible to those going through marital problems, anxiety, and grief. Read how God has helped 5 women cope with their divorce.

God helps heal from the utter heartbreak of divorce by bringing beauty from ashes in manners you can never anticipate. When God leads you to divorce, he offers a complete transformation and not just a temporary encouragement.

For instance, God can turn the hopeless person into a hopeful individual and mourning into pleasure, and he can lift the weight of our shame.

God heals the person from the trauma of an unhealthy marriage by his grace because he has a purpose behind every decision regarding someone’s life.

1. God Makes You Remember That It Is Not His Fault

It’s not God’s fault, and the person has to let go of the expectation about my marriage fixed by God. There is no quantity of fasting or praying that can force an uncooperative spouse to return, and this decision stays between him and God.

2. God Makes You Believe That You Are Enough

It is not true that the one who prays more, fasts, serves his spouse more, and caters to his spouse more will never undergo divorce. Both the spouses have to contribute equally in the marriage and respect the Lord. But, do not contribute to the point of emotional fatigue and damaging your self-worth.

3. God Makes You Remember Your Identity

God loves and protects your self-worth, value, identity and makes sure that the couple doesn’t sacrifice all of them to save their marriage. He laid down instances to prove that they are still right, strong, and deserve happiness.

4. God Sets Boundaries for People To Help Them Cope With Divorce

God sets boundaries for people, and they are vital for those who are going through a divorce, but it is difficult to understand these boundaries. When one of the spouses is cheating and being abusive, it becomes crucial to know what boundaries are healthy and required in life and marriage.

5. God Works On Forgiving

When God leads you to divorce, he asks you not to feel or think it is a one prayer process to get over a painful divorce because deep pain will take time to cure. Forgiveness is a conscious decision, and God does not want us to permit our un-forgiveness to turn to bitterness.

divorce papers
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The inference taken out from the above discussion is that though God hates divorce, he is the almighty who can release a person from a broken marriage. None wants to end their loving marriage, but when it becomes violative and unpleasurable, then divorce acts as the last option to choose. Divorce’s divine sacredness might oppose God’s will.

Intense prayers can give all the answers and can allow one’s feelings to rest and think about the decision in silence. It is considered the best way to avoid unnecessary comments and advice of people who don’t know the reality.

When God leads you to divorce, he asks you to repent in silence and ask for forgiveness because God is almighty and forgiving.

People hate divorce, and living through a divorce is not the end of life because everything happens for a reason, and God might have bigger plans for such people after their divorce. It depends on us whether we want to make our life better or worst after divorce.

Some people are not afraid of divorce; rather, they are worried about forgiveness or maybe both. But when God leads you to divorce, he always makes sense of someone’s separation and thinks for their betterment. For example, he can bring back the marital relationship or an ex-husband or wife by making them realize their mistake.

Women struggling for healthy marital relationships are striving to adjust somehow with their partner because they are also afraid of God’s judgment. They never stop believing in Lord because if he is for the marriage, he will guide them into it, lead them out of the marriage, and take them away from unsafe marriage.

And when God leads you to divorce, he heads you to himself in all these situations so that you can find peace and his support.

When God leads you to divorce, you need daily direction from God for all the major decisions both before and after the final separation. Notably, they need to receive the extensive work that God wants to do in their heart so that they do not repeat old sins and mistakes rather become changed.

When God leads you to divorce, remember that the Lord always wants the best for his people, that is why he has made a concept called marriage, and he wants people to stay married. Nonetheless, he wants everyone to stay happy in their marriages and seek freedom from harmful ones.

About the author

Ms. Priyanka Ohri is a Human Developmentalist. She is pursuing a master's in Human development from SNDT Women’s University, Mumbai and sustains a graduation degree in home science with a specialization in Human development from Lady Irwin College, Delhi University. She is an empathetic listener and an articulate writer.

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