Home Living Life Married Couples Coping with Sleeping Together: Here’s Your Guide.

Married Couples Coping with Sleeping Together: Here’s Your Guide.


Sharing a bed may not mean adequate or peaceful sleep for everyone. Sometimes, married couples may prefer to sleep apart if they want a good night’s sleep. Here are some reasons why many happily married couples prefer to sleep apart. The “sleep divorce” might be the key to a joyous marriage.

The Guide for Married Couples Coping with Sleeping Together

1. Sleeping habits of the spouse

Sleeping habits differ from person to person. Some might suffer from habits such as snoring, restless legs, nightmares, or teeth grinding. While more severe cases experience sleepwalking. In such cases, the other spouse might want to get a sound sleep at night and want to sleep separately. This is better than tossing and turning in bed.

2. The environment of the room 

The room temperature or lights might also be a reason why couples choose to have separate rooms. One of you might like windows open, and the other might want curtains drawn.

In many cases, a partner might want softer mattresses or textured sheets. In these cases, the partner might just switch room or bed instead of arguing.

3. It is okay to sleep separately

A study reported that 1 in 4 married couples slept separately and was happy with the arrangement. Sleeping together doesn’t mean you have a happy marriage. And the same applies the other way round.

In fact, keeping each other up at night due to snoring or restlessness might build up resentment in your relationship. Gone are the days when sleeping together saved a marriage.

4. Clashing schedules

You might be having sweet dreams, but your spouse might be working night shifts. In this scenario, it is better to have a separate room to get your forty winks. Similarly, your partner may be a night owl and might have the habit of reading or working until late into the night. The lights might disturb your sleep. Some even have a habit of falling asleep to the sound of 90’s soap operas, which might irk their partner.

In contrast, your partner might be the early bird, and the groaning bed at 5 a.m. might leave you sleep-deprived.

Whatever the case, if these habits are going to give your bags under your eyes, then you might as well move to a separate bed or bedroom.

5. One of you steals the blanket

The scene where a couple pulls and tugs at the blanket might look adorable only in the movies. In real life, this might be the reason you might resent your partner and pick up a fight. Even worse, it might leave you sleep-deprived, and you will be cranky all day.

A cold room gives a good sleep, especially when you are wrapped in a warm blanket. But your partner might have the habit of curling up tightly and pull the blanket off you. This will just leave you cold, causing you to toss and turn in the bed all night.

6. The battle of mattresses

Again, the argument about the preferable mattress might look cute in a romantic movie. In reality, the one who loses the argument might experience a sleepless night and body ache.

The type of mattress you use affects your sleep quality. So choosing the right mattress as per your requirements is necessary for quality sleep. If the mattress is causing conflict, then moving away to a separate bed for a favorite mattress is a good reason.

Meanwhile, you can get the perfect mattresses for lovemaking if you still want to give sleeping together a chance. This guide will help you choose the ideal mattress without compromising the demands of your partner.

7. Pets in the bed

Many people take their pets into bed with them. While it is adorable to have a cat or dog snuggling close to you, your partner might not think so. The actual problem arises when your spouse is allergic to pets. Nobody would like nasal congestion at the cost of having Fluffy snuggle with you.

If you are way too habitual to have your cat in bed, it is better to get a separate bed. You can avoid all the arguments and nasal congestion.

8. Might boost your desire for lovemaking

Yes, you read that right. Contradictory to the belief, sleeping apart might actually boost your sex life. Let’s admit it; you will never want to sleep with someone who does not let you sleep. Getting an hour of extra sleep or a peaceful sleep at night might boost your desire for intimacy.

In any case, you might want to resolve the issues by being honest and talking about it. Everyone values their sleep, and it’s totally fine if you or your partner wants a good sleep. If you want a separate bed, you will have to put it gently to your spouse. Explain yourself and point out the benefits of doing so. In contrast, if you want to sleep together, you will have to discuss the exact issue with your spouse and find a solution.

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