Successful relationships don’t start out of nowhere. As soon as a baby is born, the newborn gets so many relationships to handle. Mother-son, father-daughter, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, uncle, aunty are the various types of relationships in this world. You cannot change one’s personality for the sake of love. Similarly, you cannot have a relationship without conflicts. People are here to make mistakes. Mistakes help you to learn new things.
The Reality of Being Behind Succesful Relationships: What does it take?
Did you know that efforts at pinning down the math behind successful relationships isn’t new? We had psychologist John Gottman trying his hands at a mathematical model over 30 years ago. He wanted to find a formula to know if a pair would match well – taking biological considerations into account. His approach was shockingly accurate when it came to predicting divorce. And that’s not the only attempt there has been.
Mathematician Hannah Fry talked about the aspect in a TEDx talk. She said how long-lasting relationships could actually be held down to a simple formula – just how positive and negative a couple is to each other. How you two interact to each other is important. For instance, if you think bad behavior is ‘normal’ and wouldn’t talk to your partner about it, there is a problem. You are a high-risk couple. On the other hand, low-risk couples are happy with each other, and should there be any untoward behaviour, communicates with the other person to know the issue. Here is an article that talks more about the equation.
Understanding the true nature of a person takes time. What are you looking for in the relationship? Are you able to communicate and trust the other person? It’s simple math to have a successful relationship with anyone in this world.
As you grow old, your fantasies about love and care change. You get hit by the actual reality of a relationship. When you face a problem in any relationship, your heart and mind speak differently. It leads to confusion and later to depression.
What you do then? Visit a therapist, seek relationship counseling or take anti-depressant pills. Whatever you do are all the external factors for you to maintain a healthy relationship with another person.
The core is in your heart. The day your heart and brain will run parallel with your relationship, you will achieve success in all relationships. It is not about getting hurt in one particular relationship. You decide how you deal with each relationship.
When you have a failure in any relationship, you blame the other person. Truth is, it can happen with all the relationships around you, if you or the other person isn’t able to communicate properly.
Perspective for the Math Behind Successful Relationships
Every relationship will have its own moments. An individual perspective is the ultimate thing behind a successful relationship. Once you change or reform your perspective towards any relationship, then slowly you will achieve a relationship you can build on.
These days, relationships are very fragile. The young generation has very little patience. The young generation will get too many options available in front of them. Hence, divorce, breakups, staying alone are no matter a big deal for today’s generation.
No one can force you to stay in a toxic relationship. Physical, emotional abuse is a big concern. Marital rape is common in the closed doors of a home. A successful relationship does not count on these toxic attitudes. No one whether it is a man or a woman should compromise on SELF RESPECT to maintain a successful relationship in the eyes of society.
You should always have your own thoughts, own individuality own personality in a relationship. That way, both of you in any relationship can take it further without any misunderstandings. Life is really short to have big arguments over petty issues.
You Need to Work On Yourself to Create Successful Relationships
You just get one life “to live and let live.” It is always better to work on yourself to make the relationship work without any expectations from another person. Well, that does not mean that the other person will take you granted in a relationship. Both of you should have their stronghold to maintain success in the relationship.
Any relationship is like a two-wheeler. If one wheel backs off, the other one will automatically stop working. To run the bike of a relationship, you need servicing of both the wheels. You should always become each other’s support system.
Too much advice, control in a relationship can spoil the charm and essence. It even led to losing one’s self-respect. So, you should know the balance to maintain a relationship. Though you can take advice from people who are successful in handling the relationship. You can even visit professional to seek advice (if you have a pocket full of money). Ultimately, it is you and your partner in any relationship know what works the best.
Together you should start the journey to explore. If you have determination and love, then your journey will end on a smooth note. Mutual trust, respect, loyalty, and belief are the main ingredients of a successful relationship.
When you are getting into a new relationship, it is always about giving time and space. You cannot achieve success in a relationship too soon. You cannot force another person to listen to you. Or else, it will break the thread of the relationship rather than to make it.
The Top Healthy Habits to Develop in a Successful Relationship
There are certain things in a relationship that you may feel are toxic, but they actually are the healthy habits that you knowingly or unknowingly follow. Here are some hacks to successful relationships you need to know.
Let go of some conflicts unresolved
Two people in one relationship always want to solve all the conflicts that come their way. They feel that once you resolve the conflict, you are in a happy space. But, another conflict may arrive out of nowhere in that same relationship. So, what’s next? Well, it is humanly not possible to change one person’s core personality or behavior. Yes, you can modify it to some extent. So, it is always wise to let go of some conflicts unresolved when you know that the person will not change or repeat the same some other time. Always fighting in a relationship is not worth. Hence, it is the actual math of a successful relationship.
It’s okay to hurt feelings sometimes
People do not want to hurt each other’s feelings in a relationship. They want to feel good all the time even if the demand for one person is hurting the other person. But, it is always the other way round. If you want a healthy and successful relationship, you should confront the other person about your likes and dislikes without blaming the person. And, the other person should listen with patience without feeling hurt. This way, both of you can communicate your true heart. It increases the mutual respect for each other. Sometimes, a little bit of hurt in a relationship does not make you fall. Rather it makes you strong to build a successful relationship that will last long forever.
Be Aware of Who You Are
In a relationship, thinking about the other partner more – and often at the cost of your own well-being – isn’t healthy. You don’t want things to get stagnant. Look to help each other in your life, and not be too dependant on the other.
Do not stop your feelings
Attraction to other people is more normal than you would think. You can stay attractive to other people. But it does not question your loyalty. If you suppress these feelings, these feelings take charge of you. Learn to accept it. It will not harm your present relationship nor it will make you disloyal towards your partner. You need to create successful relationships that work.
Having space in a relationship
Who says having space in a relationship will create distance? Having space in a relationship will help you grow as an individual. The more space you give in a relationship, the more bond you create. In any relationship spending some time apart will not create havoc. Rather it will strengthen the relationship of both the person. It helps you and the other person to know each other. You can definitely understand the personality of the person. It leads to a successful relationship in the long run. You should always give oxygen in a relationship to breathe.
Accept the flaws
No person is perfect in a relationship. You and your partner both have flaws in your personality. So, do not try to change these flaws in each other. Actually, these flaws make you close to each other. Learn to appreciate the flaws in each other. It will help you grow in your relationship. One day, these flaws will only be there to appreciate each other.
Successful Relationships: Find Quality Time With Your Partner
Maintaining successful relationships is not an easy task. The math behind a successful relationship itself is a complicated thing. Hence, you should dig deep to find the real worth of your relationship with a different person. You can actually bring the change to you. A successful relationship is not in the hands of others. It is in your hands and how you want to shape it.
In our busy lives, we hardly get time to spend quality time in any relationship. But, if the person is the real gem in your life, then invest some of your precious time in that relationship. It will give you the confidence to take the relationship further.
Also, no relationship is away from flaws, conflicts or misunderstandings. But, every action has its own limit. You should know the limit of your relationship. It will give you the power to make it successful and memorable in your life.
Every relationship is like a tree. You give time, love, care, attention and it will grow strong, healthy and fruitful. To create successful relationships, the foundation of the initial investment should be right. Then, it will automatically grow strong with love and care with time.
Originally posted 2020-02-27 21:30:32.