While it starts with violins playing in the background and a slow breeze carrying you away to a perfect land, your first relationship also has lots of stuff to teach you. Here are 11 things you learn from your first relationship.
1. Everyone is wired in their own sweet way.
He might not be a maintenance freak like you, whereas you might not have any interest in all his gadget-related talks. Relationships are all about appreciating the dissimilarities between you two. You need to figure out if the differences can be ignored or are too much to handle, in which case you either need to compromise or move out.
2. The line between “me” and “we.”
It may all seem very blurry initially, and you might want to give it your all. But there is a point where the “we” has got to become “me.” A healthy relationship never forces or compels you to lose your identity. There is always a limit to the compromises you can and “should” make.
3. It’s NOT a fairy tale.
No, there is no knight in shining armour or a Cinderella about to be rescued from her torturous life. It doesn’t transform your world into all gold and glitters. It has its own twists and turns with a fair share of all the emotions life has to offer.
4. True love isn’t stumbled upon. It’s built.
No, there is nothing as soulmates or a match made in heaven. Yes, all the songs and lore are exaggerations. When you see a happy couple, remember they worked for it amidst all the hardships and made it through. So, give them credit.
5. Thinking beyond yourself.
Taking care of someone else’s emotions and realizing the effect you can have on the other person makes you more responsible and matured as a human being. It brings more sensitivity to your personality and teaches you to let go of trivial issues for that surreal feeling love brings.
6. You will always have millions of reasons to bail out.
Nobody is perfect- neither you nor your partner. The ideal image you built in your head shatters gradually when you realize that your partner is every bit as human as you are. The closer you are to a person, the clearer their faults get.
It will be your choice to push them away for their flaws or accept them.
7. Things may not always be in your control.
The two of you might try your very best, but you can’t handle some situations. Situations can, at times, be impossible to overcome, and you can do nothing but accept them.
8. Change is the only constant.
People change, priorities change.
Sometimes the bond is stronger, and at other times, the change overpowers the bond. Roll with it and let it go in case the latter happens. It’s for the greater good.
9. Love is not enough.
Yes, you read it right. Compatibility, commitment, trust, life and career goals- all have their roles to play in sustaining a relationship. If everything works against your love, there are less chances that can hold you two together. Well, note that we said “less,” not “nil.”
10. What you really want from life.
It could be money or security, or something else. Your first relationship helps you identify the areas of your life that you can’t compromise with and allows you to make tough decisions that might prove better in the long run for both of you.
11. It’s worth it, irrespective of the consequences.
Your relationship may or may not last. But during the course, you grow, you learn, and above all, you become a better and stronger individual.
So get out there and love with all your heart. Even if things don’t end up great, you will have many lessons to carry out with it and memories that you will cherish forever.
sapiosexual, voluntarily an introvert, fashionably dowdy, a passionate writer and to top it all-“an engineer in the making” *wink*