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Types of Weird Guys on Facebook

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Almost all of us use one social media platform or the other at this point. One of the inevitable consequences of a social media presence is the ubiquity of random weirdos. It’s almost as if the internet is a breeding ground for all kinds of weird people, you might imagine. Here is an example of a few types of weirdos you might meet on Facebook.

1. The poker guy.

This is the person who pokes you – randomly, out of nowhere, and for no discernible reason whatsoever. And then they poke you again, and then some more. This person doesn’t even make any attempt at conversation. They like to poke people virtually. Oh well, I suppose there are worse vices to have.

2. The love at first sight, guy.

This is that weird creep who introduces himself on the first conversation with some variation of the phrase ‘I Luv u,’ ‘I lyk u,’ ‘u r vry butiful’ or ‘wil u mary me.’ Like that’s the first (and probably the only) thing that they will say to you – a stranger! These are individuals you need to run away from ASAP.

3. The personal information guy.

This is the guy who feels the need to acquaint you with every single intimate detail of his life on the very first conversation. How many girlfriends he’s had, how many of them he’s slept with, how many of them he hasn’t, why he broke up with the last one (and every one before that), you will probably know everything there is to know about this dude’s entire existence in the first 24 hours of knowing him.

4. The random advice guy.

The dude who feels the insurmountable desire to offer unsolicited advice on matters ranging from your choice of life insurance to life-partner. There is no aspect of your existence that is beneath their notice. Hell, given the opportunity, they’d even advise you on the best brand of laxative to serve your purpose!

5. The random drug dealer.

This is the guy who’s apparently tried every addictive substance under the sun – from cigarettes to cocaine – and feels the overwhelming desire to help you share in his intoxicated glory. He will beg, persuade, and ultimately downright challenge you to ‘experiment’ with so-and-so substance, promising you an experience you’ll ‘never forget.’

6. The number-collector.

The weirdo who asks for every girl’s number after like…3 minutes of conversation. What he intends to do with so many phone numbers, nobody knows. Who knows, perhaps he’s just trying to build a brand new female-only phone directory!

7. The no reply guy.

After starting a perfectly normal conversation one fine day, this is the guy who refuses to reply to any subsequent messages, despite having seen them. I mean, it is perfectly understandable if one doesn’t want to talk at a particular time. Everybody’s busy some time or the other. But really, how difficult is it to type out four darn letters – ttyl? Nope, this gentleman is too busy for such frivolities. If you’re very lucky, he may reply to you a few weeks after seeing the message.

8. The random abs guy.

To him, the internet (and everyone on it) exists for one purpose and one purpose only: for the holy duty of seeing and admiring his fantabulous abs! About 12 times a day, he will post random pictures of his well-defined and well-oiled abs, biceps, and triceps, clicked from various angles, while tagging you and about a hundred other people in every single obnoxious photo. Really, people, this particular individual needs to be unfriended ASAP!

So there is the list of the random guys we encounter on social media; I am sure you would have encountered at least one of them, if not many.

About the author

An eccentric writer of quirky tales, who likes reading, writing, talking, shopping and singing tunelessly in the shower.

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