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Who is the Most Admirable Man?

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Let’s re-phrase that because it’s the title of an article on this website and not something picked from the front pages of The Times of India. We’re talking about the most admired man and woman in the world, as seen by the population of our favorite country, The United States of America (some might say The Great Britain, but come on, they ruled us for centuries and can thus never top that list).

Moving on to the answer of that particular question, according to a Gallup poll released on Monday, President Barack Obama, and our dearest, Hillary Clinton, have been voted the most admired man and woman in the world, by the Americans.

You might say that it is pretty obvious for the Americans to vote for their own people, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. What we are really trying to tell you is that the list had some really exotic people too. And by exotic, I mean EXOTIC. But first, let’s talk about the odds of these guys over here.

In the annual poll, the dear president has stayed on top of the list for 8 years in a row and has been voted number one or two about 17 percent of the time. The best part is, Hillary Clinton has been on top for 14 consecutive years, and 20 times overall (talk about being a favorite kind of favorite).

Now, that we have already discussed who came first, let’s move on to the exotic. The very first exotic person on this list is the guy who came second. No pennies for guessing his name, because, it is, indeed, the best of the best, the amazing, the huuuuuge, the person with the yellowest of hair, the one and only, Donald Trump. Yes. He’s the second most admired man in the country. But things have just started to get interesting. He shares this place with Pope Francis (Of course, of course).

Can you believe that both the guys earned an equal 5 percent on the poll given their history? I am so good at pointing out ironies, and I have a smile on my face while I’m writing this (that’s huuuuuge because I have a BRF).

The rest of the men who made it to the top ten were Bernie Sanders, who got 3 percent of the votes, Bill Gates, who got 2 percent, and Dalai Lama and George W. Bush, also tied in seventh.

The second best in the most admired list of women was Malala Yousafazai, who wins the swag contest among all the teenagers on this planet and the pretentious adults by a light year. That girl got a Nobel Peace Prize at the age of 17 and has a full-fledged foundation called Malala Fund (which somehow was born while she was still in a coma), which aims to give everyone education. She also fills our exotic criteria because she lives in Birmingham now, but is actually a Pakistani. She can’t live in Pakistan because, you know, Taliban.

The rest in the list were Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama with 4 percent each, and Carly Fiorina, Queen Elizabeth II, and Angela Merkel, with each earning 2 percent.

The signing would read something like this.

“This poll is so obsessed with ties, I could make an episode of ‘Suits’ out of it.”

I love Mike Ross.

Bye.

-Apurva Jain

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