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“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” by John Gary gives favorable respect to the difference between both genders. But as both men and women belong to the same set of human beings, feelings positive or negative, I hope you agree they are far more or less the same. Even a man sometimes lacks self-confidence, and that lowers his self-esteem. Then what could be better than what are the signs of low esteem in men be the basis for today’s article?
But before we try to identify the signs of low esteem in men, let us together understand the true meaning of self-esteem.
1. What is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is sometimes wrongly confused with self-respect. It is similar to self-respect but broader than self-respect, as self-esteem includes levels of self-confidence.
Self Esteem is self-worth. It is the overall worth a person believes in himself. This self-worthiness is based on many factors:
1. How much confidence a person has?
2. How is he fond of himself?
3. How does he treat himself?
4. Is he able to maintain caring, healthy, supportive relationships?
So self-esteem is a psychological phenomenon. But this psychological phenomenon can have lasting physical effects on the person. So it is important to comprehend in a psychological construct the definition of self-esteem.
A man’s esteem may be high or low according to his upbringing, social surroundings, and other physiological factors. Very high esteem and low esteem are both unhealthy. Let us recognize the difference between the two and then learn more about signs of low esteem in men.
2. High Self Esteem Vs. Low Self Esteem
Some would question whether the presence of the above positive aspects is fair enough to judge high self-esteem. But apart from these, high levels of self-motivation state the overall well-being of high self-esteem in a man.
On the other hand, a man with low self-esteem feels inferior most of the time and takes constructive criticism as a direct attack on his self-worth. Self-doubt and a negative outlook hovers around his persona most of the time.
A man’s self-esteem impacts his overall personality. It affects the educational domain, social domain, and occupational domain.
3. Signs of Low Esteem in Men
Self-esteem plays a pivotal role in shaping the personality. High self-esteem in a man could do wonders in life, and low self-esteem could shatter everything.
But the early diagnosis of low esteem could change the psychological construct. So my dear friend, below are some signs and symptoms of the low esteem in a man:
3.1. Physical Symptoms
Here are a series of bodily symptoms that are signs of low self-esteem in men
- Keep fidgeting or toying with buttons on the shirt or his fingers.
- Cross hands or look for support while standing or keeping his viewpoint.
- Avoids eye contact.
- While talking, he may lean to the opposite side of the one he is talking to.
3.2. Self Centered
Men with low self-esteem will prioritize their emotions and feelings. It is because he feels unworthy of attention. He feels inferior, and anxiety engulfs him. This extremely pessimistic attitude gradually develops into a negative attitude toward others.
Another reason for being self-centered is feeling unworthy of love and attention. He has built a wrong notion that he is not worthy of anyone’s attention. Therefore he has to follow his own whims and fancies.
3.3. Enmity and Jealousy
This is a severe flaw and must be looked for in men. This isn’t easy to judge whether you are married or dating a guy. A man with low self-esteem will constantly criticize you, be it your looks or personality. Men suffering from low esteem don’t accept you for who you are, you might be bullied to mend your ways.
3.4. Lack of Social Behavior
Social withdrawal is a common sign of low esteem in men. Men are in the habit of putting their weights here and there. But if there is a problem with their self-worthiness, they may withdraw themselves from society. They stop visiting parties or could even force you to do so.
Last-minute plan changes and not being willing to meet even the closest of friends are a few symptoms of a lack of interest in social behavior.
A man with low self-esteem is highly pessimist. He doesn’t see any good or hardworking behind the achievements. He credits luck for your accomplishments. Please beware and keep in mind if you are with a man who lets go of your efforts as mere coincidences. In this way, you yourself may someday become the object of low self-esteem.
Lack of trust in near and dear ones and questioning their trustworthiness is one of the men’s most important signs of low esteem.
It is one of the important signs of low self-esteem in men. A guy with low self-esteem gets easily swayed away. This is predominantly because of the need for more critical and analytical ability. He may easily accept false and absurd things about you from anyone. Isn’t it a serious sign of low self-esteem in a relationship with such a man?
3.8. Negative Outlook and Fearful of Taking on Big Responsibilities
A very negative being is another sign of low self-esteem in men. If you are with such a man, he may take all your requests or desires for say in love in the wrong way.
He might avoid taking responsibility and top of it, would need constant support.
3.9. Needs Constant Acceptance
If you are with a man with low self-esteem, he may always be in need of affirmations from external sources. The absence of self-worth and self-confidence makes the person vulnerable and seek acceptance from the outside world.
3.10. Fickle Minded
A man with low self-esteem lacks self-confidence and conviction. Due to this, he needs help to take a stand or stand on set principles or ideals. The person changes his mind frequently whether or not under pressure. Now you may ask how to notice it.
Above are the signs and behavior that can be noticed in a low self-esteem man only if you regularly spend time. Ignoring and not paying attention to any of the above signs of low self-esteem in men could affect mental health in the long run.
4. Causes of Signs of Low Esteem in Men
People live healthy lives based on nutritious food, self-confidence, self-worth, ideas, convictions, and principles. These are torch-bearing, and any absence may lead to self-esteem issues.
So the question arises are low self-esteem issues by birth or develop gradually due to some negative aspects? Well, friend, there are several causes that a man with you lacks self-acceptance and, thereby, low self-esteem.
4.1. Self-Esteem Issues
Here goes some if’s:
- If a person is heartbroken, it will indeed affect a man’s self-esteem.
- A man is conscious of his physical appearance and has body image issues; he will feel inferior and directly attack his self-esteem.
- A man who had been negatively compared to his peers or other male cousins from a young age is bound to self-doubt his credibility.
- Many guys feel worthless at the workplace due to a lack of validation from the people on the top.
Such a man with low self-esteem issues will negatively impact his physical, emotional, and mental health. So if you have signs of low self-esteem in your guy or any of your male cousins, take care of them. Low self-esteem negatively impacts the physical domain or social domain of his own life.
5. Impact of Low Self-Esteem
5.1. Personal Impact of Low Self-Esteem on a Man
A man with low esteem can have multiple health issues that negatively affect life expectancy.
- Low self-esteem can adversely affect body image like thinness, fatigue, in some cases, obesity too.
- Headaches, muscle pains, and stomach bloating are common in low-esteem cases.
- Depression, anxiety, and indulgence in unhealthy habits like tobacco, alcohol, or drugs.
5.2. Social Impact of Low Self-Esteem in a Man
Low self-esteem plays a negative role not only in the life of a man with low self-esteem but also in the life of human beings surrounding him. It affects the interpersonal domain of the man.
- If a man with low self-esteem is the one you are in love with or married to, you are definitely losing some exciting phases of your love life.
- If one of your guy friends has low self-esteem, then sooner or later, his negative thoughts may engulf you too.
- Low self-esteem in a man badly influences the educational domain, as his self-doubt will never let him excel academically.
5.3. Signs of Low Esteem in Men and Relationships
5.3.1. Lack of affinity for one another
Low self-esteem in a man negatively impacts relationships. Whether a partner or any other relatives, negative self-esteem tarnishes bonds. It affects the sex life to the extent that sexual activity becomes a mere obligation.
If you are in a relationship with a man with low self-esteem, you must have felt subtle signs of low self-confidence and self-doubt.
6. Treating Low Self-Esteem in a Man
Now the question arises of tackling the above signs. It is difficult to figure out the signs of low esteem in men, and tackling low self-esteem man is an arduous task.
6.1. Self Treatment
In the initial incubation of low self-esteem, if a man judges his behavior, positive self-talk would definitely help. Lots of self-affirmations, feeling confident, and other self-building steps can quick fix a man’s low self-esteem.
6.2. External Treatment
Initially, you could come forward and try to uplift your guy’s esteem. If the signs of low esteem are evident and low worthiness is deep-rooted in your dear man, then he might need external help. The American dating and relationship expert Callisto Adams suggested steps to help you with the situation.
So the finest way is to talk to him. How? Here is a summary of steps that could help you in nurturing high self-esteem in a man-
- Start with dealing with him as if you were in his place.
- Allow him his space and assure him of his individuality.
- Respect his decisions. This will help him believe he is strong enough to make the decisions.
- Listen to him patiently. This will help him control his sudden anger burst.
- Ignore his negative attitude, if any, in between talks. This is just his defense mechanism.
- At this point, try to show the positive aspect even if something has really turned bad.
- Make him feel worthy and that you still respect his words.
- Please don’t lose your temper and counter-question his words.
- Stay within your standards. This is a crucial phase; if you try challenging yourself, things may become hard to deal with.
In all, avoiding conflict with a guy with low self-esteem will raise his self-confidence.
But it is possible that the situation is grave and you cannot handle it. In that case, you can take the professional help of a relationship expert.
7. Frequently Asked Questions
Q1. Can low self-esteem be the root of all the problems?
Yes, it is the root of all the problems.
Q2. Is self-esteem the same as self-confidence?
Self-confidence is believing in your abilities, whereas self-esteem is being who you are,
Q3. Is it possible to rebuild the esteem in a man?
Yes, with patience, you can help to rebuild the esteem in a man.
Q4. Is healthy childhood related to positive esteem?
Yes, healthy childhood forms the basis for positive esteem in a man.
Q5. Do narcissists suffer from low self-esteem?
No, narcissists suffer from fragile high self-esteem.
8. Closing Thoughts
We often hear, “Man is known by the company he keeps,” or “A man is built in the society he lives.” The ups and downs undoubtedly leave indelible marks on the man’s personality. But what is pivotal is how you soak in life’s good and bad experiences. Finally
But a few habits like reading books, looking at positive aspects of what is happening in life, listening to soulful music, and meditation boost our self-esteem.
Here are a few lines penned by me,
“Let People come and go,
Rebukes come, leaving scars, though.
How strong do you hold it with you?
How far does it proceed with you?
is all that shatters,
and only matters.
Let rebukes and pessimism pass by,
as if the strong breeze tosses you sly,
For you are here to learn good and bad
savor ordeals, rise high, and stand,
savor ordeals, rise high, and stand.”
So I hope you agree building high self-esteem is possible when you harness a negative attitude and tap into positivity from it. It is more inside than considering outside opinions.