Asshole or Arsehole = pronunciation (aes houl)
noun (plural: assholes or arseholes).
A jerk, mean, obnoxious, intrusive, rude person.
Do you think your presence makes people uncomfortable?
do people tend to leave the very moment you enter in the room?
Are you single even after being involved in hundreds of relationships?
Well, the list of such questions can go on and on, but they are pointless. The whole motive of asking these questions is to tell you that you fall in the category of being an ASSHOLE and that you are someone who worships ASS-HOLISM. Congratulations!
1. You think you are the best Homosapien that has ever lived.
Dude! Ever heard about Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Mark Zuckerberg, and many more smart asses?
2. You talk, walk, eat, sleep, pee, and poop INSULTS. It’s like every time you speak, you insult.
You even compliment people with insults.
3. You have a hard time pretending that you CARE.
Mark my words, I said PRETEND. Because c’mon, let’s face the truth. You know you don’t care AT ALL about anything else but YOU. And since you can’t even pretend, you are an asshole.
4. Okay! So you have this incurable disease of interrupting people while they talk.
Somehow you don’t just interrupt them but also try to correct them (unnecessarily).
And you won’t mind doing it again and again and AGAIN. And the worst part is – You won’t apologize once for interrupting those poor fellows.
5. Your friends have never really seen you smile.
Sometimes even when you attempt to smile, you fail miserably.
6. First of all, you don’t interact much. But then, when you finally try on the internet, you end up initiating World War 3.
7. However hard you may try to act as a self-dependent, smart, “I’m happy alone” and “I don’t need anyone kinda person.” Deep inside, you know, YOU ARE AN ATTENTION WHORE.
And, you would do almost anything to get that attention.
8. Coming to your Relationship Status.
Your desperation level is none of our business but, you do want to be in a relationship, FOR SURE (No matter how hard you deny it). But when it comes to a breakup, no breakup is bad enough to drift your dumbass mountain.
9. It’s not just your mouth; the whole of you is filled with shit.
It doesn’t matter if you are sitting with a president or with your family members; you have no shame in blabbering anything that comes first in your mind. Not even once will you bother to think, at least once, before you pop off something irrelevant out of your mouth?
10. Everyone else’s opinion is Wrong to you.
That day isn’t far away when you come up and say that the Earth is not a sphere but hexagonal in shape; that apples fall on the ground not because of gravity but because of a yellow dragon who holds the earth in his hand his slight sticky paws.
11. Ever heard of GOOD MANNERS, DUH!
You bump into people but leave without apologizing, you abuse a person unnecessarily, you do not hesitate to point at others in a crowd, and you NEVER EVER apologize.
12. A-POLO- What??.
You don’t even know what that is. And it’s not because you are illiterate. It’s because you are a dickhead.
13.You don’t believe in doing favors.
It won’t be surprising if you do not offer water to a person who is coughing his lungs out. And all because you are too lazy to move your butt from the bed.
But yes! You won’t mind doing it if that person offers you a Lamborghini or two Spanish girlfriends.
14. You NEVER pay attention to what the other person is saying.
Even if that person is standing just behind your ears, the reason being- You are too busy handling your own overrated dramas.
15. All you care for is you and only YOU.
Your friend comes up to you and informs you about his mother’s death. And in the midst of nowhere, you start complaining about how your pubic hair has started growing too fast, and you are fed-up of them.
16. You have a GOD COMPLEX.
You think that every single person living on this planet owes you something and that you are the GREAT ALMIGHTY. Like seriously! Get over yourself.
Obnoxious, Dickhead, Hypocrite, Self-centred, Asshole(obviously), and many more names are still discovered.
You do feel bad about yourself sometimes, but in the end, you realize that this is the way you are. And things cannot be changed. And somewhere deep inside you know, that you like being an ASSHOLE.