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Navigating relationships can be quite complicated especially when a partner exhibits narcissistic behaviors. For a healthy dynamic in the relationship, it is important to comprehend these acts, particularly in relation to unfaithfulness.
However, what if a woman with narcissistic tendencies is involved? How does female narcissism affect romantic relationships, and do female narcissists cheat? Read on to find out about that and more.
Female Narcissism and Its Effect on Relationships
Lack of empathy, persistent need for admiration and pervasive grandiosity are some of the characteristics often associated with female narcissists. These traits create an unstable footing for any relationship. The result? A possible emotional abyss where deep connections and mutual respect cannot flourish. Female narcissists may seem affectionate and interested in their partners to manipulate them into getting close but remain emotionally distant.
This separation keeps them feeling good about themselves and helps them avoid true intimacy, something terrifying for someone who depends so much on others’ opinions. Jealousy and possessiveness might also be among traits displayed by selfish women who love their partners not because they have more profound feelings for them but because they perceive them as tools that validate their sense of achievement.
Why Understanding Cheating Patterns in Individuals with Narcissistic Traits Is Important

What makes it necessary to appreciate the cheating patterns of those who exhibit these traits?1 Knowledge is power. Identifying such behaviour enables all parties involved to make informed choices regarding their relationships. When a narcissist cheats, it goes beyond finding a new lover; it involves maintaining self-image, exercising power over others and avoiding vulnerability that comes from genuine closeness.
Signs of a cheating narcissist can range from hiding whereabouts from spouse to sudden changes in sexual urge that could be subtle or blatant. Thus, recognizing these signals can prevent the psychological toll of entrapment within lies.
Additionally, this understanding facilitates early intervention. It may promote couples therapy aimed at resolving underlying problems or aid the non-narcissistic partner in protecting themselves from further damage.
Thrill-Seeking Behavior
The allure of secrecy and the rush of engaging in deception can be intoxicating2. For female narcissists, this excitement is often found in the pursuit of new conquests. The thrill-seeking behavior of female narcissists is not merely about the physical act of cheating; it’s about what the act represents – the ultimate game of control, emotional manipulation, and self-gratification.
The Alluring Nature of Secrecy and Deception to Female Narcissists
Why does a female narcissist follow a path of secret affairs? It’s a complex web woven with their need for attention and the lure of a double life. Sneaking around in itself is empowering and superior. They engage in adultery to feel smart and foxy, thereby contributing to their boasting.
Each new conquest is like evidence of their attractiveness and manipulative capabilities; another rung they can notch on their belts confirms their desirability and power.
How Their Quest for Novelty and Narcissistic Supply Influences Infidelity

Novel experiences and fresh suitors provide novelty, which female narcissists constantly crave. This quest for excitement is similar to an addiction where the high of new attention should be sought continuously after.
Monotony associated with a stable partnership cannot compare with exciting randomness linked to cheating. Cheating serves as a means of replenishing external validation, ensuring that their self-worth continues to be reinforced by adoration from others, even if it is temporary or shallow.
For example, we can look at studies and expert opinions to understand the complexities of these behaviors. While not all female narcissists may exhibit these traits, those who do can cause significant distress in their relationships.
It isn’t just the people they meet; this longing for novelty also reflects how they see themselves – as someone who always has something interesting going on around them. Hence, this insatiable desire for freshness makes the eyes of a female narcissist always scan the horizon for the next opportunity to confirm her exceptionalism.
Additionally, we have to consider their emotional disposition if we are to understand why they cheat. Emotional distance is a characteristic of many such women within their relationships. By choosing new partners, they avoid the need for deep emotional attachment that is often hard or unsettling for them. Cheating, therefore, becomes a mechanism for escaping from these vulnerabilities that come with true intimacy, an intimacy that may be avoided at all costs.
Emotional Unavailability

Emotional availability is not an option but a necessity for strong bonds and meaningful relationships. Unfortunately, narcissistic women tend to be emotionally unavailable more often than not. Sometimes, they may refuse to express genuine emotions, while at other times, they fail to understand their partners’ feelings.
How to Navigate through Emotional Maze
Initially, one may find that female narcissists have a confusing emotional landscape. At first, these individuals might be very warm and engaging, but things would change drastically later. With this shift, the warmth turns into coldness as the female narcissist withdraws emotionally and builds a barrier blocking her from getting deeper connections. The woman’s real feelings are concealed within her, leaving their partner feeling isolated and disoriented.
Cheating as a Way Out
To avoid the complexities of emotional depth, intimacy and vulnerability that come with close relationships, female narcissists may resort to cheating. It’s more than just engaging in physical acts; cheating narcissists say it’s about maintaining a safe distance from any authentic emotional entanglement. Instead of building such connections based on mutual support and openness, they go for shallow associations that do not require them to invest emotionally elsewhere, or else they expose their deepest fears.
The Signs of Cheating
Spotting when a female narcissist is having an affair can be difficult. Some telltale signs include frequent unaccounted-for absences, not knowing where she has gone, sudden shifts in her everyday life or sexual drive, heightened protectiveness of personal gadgets, and flirting on social media platforms3.
These actions represent part of a wider pattern wherein maintaining control and not getting too close is the ultimate concern. Although these actions might be helpful to the female narcissist as a means of self-protection, they usually inflict pain and agony upon their partners, thereby leaving them feeling forgotten about and sidelined.
Fighting for Affection
When discussing relationships with narcissistic females, it is necessary to account for the competition mentioned in previous paragraphs. Their need to “win” can worsen their inability to be emotionally available since they perceive relationships more as conquests than bonds. This competitive and manipulative nature also makes them increasingly prone to infidelity or multiple partners who give them the most attention and admiration.
In conclusion, the only way these emotional gaps can be covered in such relationships is when the parties involved have a good knowledge of themselves and seek professional intervention. If this does not happen, the trends of cheating and unavailability will repeat themselves, thus causing more harm to all parties involved.
Competitive Nature and Cheating
In this situation, competition extends to relationships with other people if they are inclined towards narcissism. However, when romance is mixed with competitive streaks, what happens? Let us take a look at how the competitive nature of female narcissist might be expressed in their dating lives.
Viewing Relationships as a Competition for Attention and Affection
Some narcissistic women do not see relationships as love and companionship; rather, they perceive them as contests where the ultimate goal is to receive attention and adoration. The psychology of such individuals invariably links self-worth to the number of people who notice them.
It is, therefore, possible for these women to feel triumphant by attracting many suitors. Their lust to ‘win’ can overshadow their partners’ feelings, thereby creating toxic situations where loyalty takes a back seat to the Oedipus complex.
Using Cheating to Juggle Multiple Partners Simultaneously and “Win” in Their Minds

These individuals use cheating to sustain various streams of attention and admiration. They maintain this inflated sense of superiority and control by having multiple partners. They often go on a complex emotional chess game that feeds their egos through attention maximization regardless of any consequences or damage to others that may ensue. This behavior justifies itself to them because it validates their desirability and confirms their position in the relationship’s pecking order.
In comparison with all these interpersonal games they play, others’ emotions are less significant than the chase itself or conquering something. This pattern is worrying because it involves deception and reflects deep-seated insecurities: fears that these individuals harbor about crumbling without constant validation.
This recurring pattern is important for people who will pay attention to it to recognize it. A female narcissist trapped in this vicious cycle may not stop unless someone intervenes, thereby leaving behind a trail of victims. It could help healing for those affected by such toxic relationships.
Need for Control
Where does the need for control fit into the rhythm of female narcissists in the intricate dance of relationships? In most cases, it is found at the core.
Cheating, a duplicitous and painful act, serves for some as a twisted lever of power. For them, having an affair with someone else can mean so much more than just seeking pleasure outside one’s committed relationship. It is a deliberate ploy that maintains a hierarchy where they are unassailably seated on top.
Power Play through Infidelity
Cheating not only breaks trust but also helps the female narcissist to feel like she is in control. Narcissists feed off their partner’s uncertainty, insecurity, and constant desire to be reaffirmed; hence, love triangles offer a perfect ground for their psychological games. The result is a set of irrational rules that change whenever they want to keep their mates in constant fear over their loyalty and love.
Orchestrating a Web of Deceit

Navigating multiple relationships concurrently is no easy task. It requires a cunning and strategic mind that thrills in complexity and chaos. Female narcissists build intricate webs of relationships around them, all designed to satisfy their egos and provide ongoing sources of attention. Each affair is like a piece in a grand chess game, with moves and countermoves designed to maximize their advantage and minimize vulnerability.
Cheating as Fuel for the Ego
The thrill of conquest, however, goes beyond the physical or emotional aspect; it feeds directly into the ego of the narcissist. Every new romantic entanglement is proof that they are attractive, high-end desirable people. In this way, they accumulate admirers who reflect back at them the inflated image they have of themselves.
Understanding these patterns reveals a glimpse into what happens inside someone with narcissism traits. While there may be immediate benefits from their actions, long-term consequences can be disastrous. Relationships built on manipulation and control are houses of cards that can collapse under their own deceitfulness.4
When we delve deeper into female narcissist cheating and patterns, psychological complications are revealed that encompass dominance, manipulation as well as a self-serving relentless pursuit. Control is not just part of female narcissism—it drives forth a cycle that is as predictable as it is corrosive.
Spotting these signs—such as sudden changes in behavior or libido empowers those caught in the snare of female narcissists to reach out for help before being hurt by betrayal. For such individuals, breaking free from these patterns might involve seeking professional help and choosing to grow at a deeper personal level.
Ultimately, cheating as a means of control is a shallow victory. It may provide temporary satisfaction but leaves behind emotional wreckage. Recognizing the need for control in those who are trapped in this web is the first step towards freeing oneself from the controlling hold of a female narcissist.
Fear of Abandonment

At first blush, it may seem illogical to cheat due to fear of being left. But, for women narcissists, this convoluted behavior often stems from profound insecurities. Let’s dismantle this bewildering mindset so that we can understand why engaging in infidelity may be an insane way to shield oneself against rejection.
The Paradox of Cheating out of Fear of Abandonment
It’s really weird when you think someone would betray to avoid betrayal. This is where female narcissists often strike first in relationships. They could be so scared of being abandoned that they cheat in self-defense.5
By keeping other options open, they create a safety net should their current partner decide to exit. This behavior is mostly subconscious—a misguided effort to handle vulnerability and to maintain control and a sense of security.
Preemptively Engaging with Other Relationships To Avoid Feeling Vulnerable
The idea of feeling exposed or at risk of being hurt is not something that a female narcissist can handle. To avoid such fears, she may have multiple relationships going on simultaneously. This way, if one fails, it will not be as much of a blow since there are others to fall back on. Thus, this enables her not to become emotionally committed to any single partner to forgo the deep vulnerability that true intimacy demands.
The fear of abandonment can lead a female narcissist to exercise control over the beginnings and endings of relationships. In her mind, being the one who leaves is better than being left behind. This sense of control brings about psychological comfort, although it creates emotional chaos within all involved parties.
Fear of abandonment is deeply ingrained in people’s minds with narcissistic traits, but they can seek help and develop healthier relationship patterns. Professional assistance enhances self-awareness and other techniques that do not involve hurting others. Nevertheless, if left untreated, there is a high likelihood of repetitive harmful behaviors—a cycle that cannot be broken except through awareness and deliberate action.
Image Maintenance and Cheating
In the intricate dance of deception engaged in by female narcissists, maintaining an image becomes crucial. Perfection is more than just an ambition because it is a necessity for any woman who has been diagnosed with narcissism.
Their self-worth and identity often hinge on the perception of others, making it critical to project an image of flawlessness. In their intimate relationships, they have to keep up this façade because even a small mistake, such as cheating, can destroy the well-managed image they portray to others.
Maintaining a Facade of Perfection

Female narcissists are meticulous about building an exterior that is invincible and charismatic. A lot of energy is invested in looking successful, attractive and desirable. It is a cloak that protects their vulnerable ego from any kind of criticism and judgment.
With respect to cheating, therefore, any actions that may bring on suspicions about their unfaithfulness are covered up skillfully. The endgame is avoiding anything that would make them appear flawed or faithless at all costs due to the care they’ve taken to construct that perfect image.
Hiding Cheating Behaviors
To protect this perfect facade, female narcissists will sometimes go to extreme lengths just to hide their infidelity acts.
Secrecy becomes one of the tactics employed by these individuals as brought out by the behaviors that show a narcissist might be cheating, such as being unsure of where he or she is or guarding his or her mobile phone carefully.
Concealing these activities is about continuing the affair undetected and maintaining their unsullied public face. Thus, hiding their betrayals prevents them from being seen as capable of betrayal and can continue appearing like loyal partners.
Understanding how image maintenance and cheating interact dynamically in the behavior of female narcissists is like seeing a complex spider web made up of self-preservation instinct and deception. This fear of being seen as imperfect makes them cover up their real deeds, thus creating a yawning gap between who they are and who they pretend to be.
Individuals caught up in relationships with narcissistic people need to recognize these patterns, whether they want to support them or escape from possible emotional harm.
Failure to Have Long-Term Vision
The navigation of complex territories, such as interpersonal relationships, often exposes people with narcissistic characteristics as lacking long-term visions. This narrow-mindedness prioritizes instant gratification over consequences6 that actions may have in the future, even if it means ignoring “long-term consequences,” especially in terms of fidelity.
Prizing Immediate Gains Over Future Consequences
Sometimes, when swirled into the whirlwind of pursuit for admiration and validation, female narcissists may fall victim to temporary wins. These include the thrills that come with new romantic partners or the ego boost associated with being wanted by more than one partner. It’s just another high chase, a sequence of quick fixes, but those transient victories bite back.
They often fail to realize how such conduct could lead to significant emotional fallout for themselves and their present partners. These short-term gains are addictive, making it difficult for them to see any potential damages they are inviting.
Impulsive Infidelity without Regard for Emotional Consequences and Relationship Damage
Another characteristic manifestation of lack of foresight among female narcissists when it comes to cheating is acting on impulse. The excitement that comes with new romantic conquests often eclipses the reality that such moves can cause emotional harm.
For instance, they might consider cheating as a game or an adventure, not considering that trust and respect are foundations upon which relationships are built and cannot always be repaired after careless actions. There are cases where partners left behind after these impulsive acts have dealt with betrayals, low self-esteem and the tough task of mending a broken trust only if it can be repaired.
This intricate web woven by female narcissists reveals that this pattern of present-orientedness is deeply interwoven with their need for control and attention. It is a continuation of the themes already considered in previous sections where they act based on fear of being vulnerable and want to uphold an image. Unless there is an inclination to address underlying problems that drive them, female narcissists might continue switching from one relationship to another, leaving emotional devastation in its wake.
Understanding this lack of long-term vision can be helpful, especially for those who find themselves caught up in the crossfire of narcissistic people’s impulsive decisions. This reminds us that unless there is professional help sought towards self-awareness and personal growth, as suggested in the case of covert female narcissists, the patterns will go on.
This understanding may mark the initial step toward protecting oneself from potential damage that could arise due to involvement with a person suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder7.
Emotional Highs from Cheating

What is it about cheating that seems to give female narcissists such an emotional buzz? The answer lies in finding fulfillment in carrying out secretive and deceptive behaviors. For someone with narcissistic traits, cheating isn’t just an act of pursuing another romantic or sexual partner; instead, it’s a complete event filled with passion, hazards, and gains.
Such highs could become so intense that they become one of the driving forces behind their deeds as they look for new chances of infidelity.
The Allure of the Forbidden
Sneaking around and lying about it creates an adrenaline rush for such people, whereas fulfilling what is forbidden amounts to sheer seduction. The taste of forbidden fruit is believed to be sweeter than any other.
Engaging in affairs makes them feel powerful and desired by others, which boosts their ego and self-esteem in return. These narcissists do not find anything strange about enjoying multiple partners who constantly validate their worth and charm.
The Addiction to Newness
Cheating presents itself as a way for female narcissists to experience novelty which can be very appealing. Every new relationship represents a virgin territory filled with unknowns and promising adventures. This unrelenting search for ‘new’ things may eventually turn into some sort of obsession.
As with every other addictive behavior, they must continuously feed this need for novelty so as not to lose the emotional high it brings along with it. It then becomes a cycle where each affair provides only a temporary fix before the next one is needed.
Validation Through Variety
Female narcissists become so full of themselves due to the attention they receive from diverse partners. It’s not just about sexual attraction— it’s recognition of their self-worth, power and ability to manipulate others into complying with their needs.
This seeking external validation8 can be so affirmative that one gets addicted to it and becomes dependent on external affirmation rather than developing an internally based sense of self-esteem. The need for constant approval explains the repeated instances of unfaithfulness, as one partner is seldom enough to satisfy the seemingly insatiable hunger for attention.
It is important to be able to identify these emotional highs in the context of narcissistic cheating patterns, to see if they are present, and to take appropriate measures against becoming a part of such toxic dynamics. Among female narcissists, there may be those who derive pleasure from managing to deceive their partner by hiding other relationships; however, this happiness does not last long as it results in havoc.
Recurrent Patterns in Relationships
By definition, narcissist cheating patterns are repeated and often predictable. For instance, in relationships, especially those involving female narcissists, these patterns can turn into a destructive dance of deceit and emotional agony. It is important to know the beat behind this harmful repetition: a cycle of cheating that becomes an old story in the lives of those who get involved with people who exhibit narcissistic tendencies.
Cheating Patterns Repeated Among Female Narcissist’s Relationships
Consistency is not always a virtue, especially when it leads to harm. In relationships where female narcissists are involved, there is a tendency for some behaviors to recur. Such cycles normally begin with idealization and move on to devaluation before finally resulting in infidelity, as has been discussed before.
This pattern is not an isolated incident but part of what has become a routine for many female narcissists led by the need for admiration and novelty at all times in their lives. In each new relationship, like actors in the well-coordinated play, they repeat their parts, causing pain and betrayal.
The Likelihood of Continued Harm to Partners Unless Professional Help is Sought
The outlook for partners involved with female narcissists looks bleak if no one intervenes. This continuous damage caused goes beyond mere emotions but often escalates into psychological trauma. The cheating patterns indicate deeper problems within the psyche of the female narcissist cheating patterns that call for specialist attention. Through therapy, self-awareness may be achieved, and personal growth can disrupt these vicious cycles. However, this requires them to admit their problems and seek change, which is unfortunately not as common as it should be.
It would be important for one to understand that the responsibility of breaking the cycle lies with the narcissist. Partners can provide support, but they cannot make anyone change. By seeing this pattern, people can take the first step towards protecting themselves and making informed choices about their emotional and mental health, and future.
Sources
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- Lang, Yi, et al. “Narcissistic enough to challenge: the effect of narcissism on change-oriented organizational citizenship behavior.” Frontiers in psychology 12 (2022): 792818. ↩︎
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