Before reading The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak, I would have confidently categorised love into a state of being with three broad layers: Love that we share with our family, friends or close ones, love that we shape with our romantic partners and love that we channel inwards, towards our own self.
Each, in turn, branches into finer layers – love towards our goals and aspirations, spiritual beliefs, religion, or even love towards a love language. But Shams of Tabriz says,
“Divisions only create more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple.” – The last of the Forty Rules of Love
The cover of The Forty Rules of Love – as enchanting as the story.
This is not simply a book review; it wouldn’t provide justice. It is just an account of the journey; a beautiful book such as this takes you to. A journey one cannot make with a rigid mindset. A journey of love that extends beyond life and death, one that would make you sad upon reaching the destination.
Elif Shafak gracefully layers the book with two stories moving parallelly – one set in 13th century wherein we meet the legendary poet Rumi, his spiritual companion and soulmate – Shams of Tabriz and their tale; the other unfolds in present day and revolves around Ella Rubenstein, a housewife who has stopped believing in love and often lives a life of resignation.
The parallels merge when Ella receives a book’s manuscript for review as a part of her new job, leading her to discover the tale of Rumi and Shams, which changes the trajectory of her life.
Elif Shafak divides the narration into five parts, each carrying fundamental elements of nature – earth, water, wind, fire, and Sufis believe the void to constitute the fifth element – “the things that are present through their absence” as the book defines it. After all, to feel a void is to feel something is missing.
And only this realisation would help us fill it with spiritual love, just like filling an empty pot with water.
One could be the wealthiest man in the world and still sit with a void inside, right? Similarly, one may be a religious man yet fail to attain spiritual growth to fill up the pot – the void.
Denying the existence of this void would only dig deeper into it. To love is to feel through the void, the emptiness – feelings that light up the darkness and fill any hole.
“God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is a fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.” – Shams, The Forty Rules of Love
Elif Shafak also reminds us, “On the Sufi path, first you discover the art of being alone amid the crowd. Next you discover the crowd within your solitude – the voices inside you”. Now, one might wonder: why speak of spirituality, humanity, God, mentors, and so much more in a book about the forty rules of LOVE?
Well, rather than a solid feeling, love is fluid. This essence dissolves in every human interaction in a person’s lifespan. Qur’an says that “believers are each other’s mirror”, but ask a lover and they’d say the same. Or, to keep it even simpler, ask your parents; their answer would not differ either.
Love is fluid – it doesn’t have a shape or timeline. It flows, once you allow it to, and for that, one must open the gates of their heart and soften their minds. For the same reason, love is also void, for it sustains even in the absence.
“Nothing should stand between yourself and God. Not imams, priests, rabbis, or any other custodians of moral and religious leadership. Not spiritual masters, not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duties you perform is no good.” – Shams, The Forty Rules of Love.
Speaking of another dynamic of love, people have different languages and customs to express their love towards God. If it is one feeling we all share at the end of the day, why does the world fight over different expressions? As Shams says, “religions are like rivers: they all flow to the same sea”.
Some pray for a better future, while some pray to wash away their past sins, but how did we forget that love has nothing to do with the past or the future and everything to do with our present? That love is in the here and now.
They say Shams turned Rumi, a scholar, into a poet, but that was only when Rumi felt the void – the absence that Shams’ presence left everywhere around, or rather within Rumi, that turned him into one.
“Even if there might be a Shams equivalent in some people, what matters is, where are the Rumis to see it?” – Master Sameed, The Forty Rules of Love
Elif Shafak’s Forty Rules of Love shatters all the walls we build around our hearts. It attempts to show us something beyond the four letters of love, in a pure, mystical way that may dissolve all barriers.
“I guess whether we choose to travel as much as Marco Polo did or stay in the same spot from cradle to grave, life is a sequence of births and deaths. Moments are born and moments die. For new experiences to come to light, old ones need to wither away. Don’t you think?” – Aziz. Z. Zahara, The Forty Rules of Love
