Studying the aspects of death and dying and the psychological measures that can be taken into account to deal with it is known as Thanatology. Grief is the primary factor associated with death and dying or dying experiences like Shared-Death Experiences and Near-Death Experiences.
And there is a very unique formula that was founded by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who was a Swiss-American psychiatrist. She studied Near-Death experiences in-depth and shared her first theory of “five stages of grief” from the perspective of death and dying – thanatology. These five stages are denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance.
1. Denial
The first stage she discussed is denial, it happens when we don’t allow our mind to accept something and keep ignoring it, so we don’t have to experience the pain. It’s like feeling after a bereavement, even if someone has died, our mind is not ready to accept and let it go or allow us to heal from the pain. This is when the first stage of grief starts and that’s why it is named “denial”.
2. Anger
Anger is the obvious emotion that often occurs after the denial process. For instance, if a person has died before its time, it is common for their guardians or loved ones to burst into anger by remembering their past experiences together, things that they could do together, and building a future they planned together. However, this is not only for death or dying, anger is common when we find ourselves in a position where nothing is in our hands except remorse. To show their concern and regret towards that tragedy, people often develop a sense of anger inside themselves.
3. Depression
When an angry feeling develops inside and keeps growing, leads to a certain kind of depression. When people can’t express their anger, it chokes them from the inside, resulting in the feeling of helplessness, overwhelming, and aggression. This is where people need external support whether counseling or friendly care because the more the depression, the more the grief.
4. Bargaining
Bargaining is a better stage and can be defined as a sign of improvement from the stage of depression because a depressed person can’t think of ways to bargain for his happiness but a person who has taken a step forward from the stage of depression can do. It is when people start to try to find the meaning and purpose of their lives after going through a bereavement or remorse phase. They try to seek help from people and in terms of spiritual ways, they try to make amends or deal with god or their inner self that if they do this, they might see a better result.
5. Acceptance
Finally, a person can move on to the stage of acceptance. Accepting things or letting things go is crucial to move on. It is not necessary that acceptance can only arrive after going through these four stages, it’s a matter of time and one’s strong perspectives, will, and determination to move on. This is the stage where you find ease of pain and you are ready to start fresh.
How Society Interprets These Five Stages
Even though the five stages of grief are based on the theories of thanatology, people nowadays apply this concept to various aspects of their lives, which may not be suitable for every condition but is interesting to see.
For instance, working on a certain new project can lead to grief not in a way like a bereavement but in a hilarious way because whatever the work we get, initially we deny it that it would be difficult to process but then there comes anger, frustration, depression, amendments, and finally acceptance.
Another part where the five stages formula people apply just for fun purposes I guess is in wars. If one country is defeated, it’s on the stage of acceptance of defeat. However, these types of prospects are merely made for fun purposes and has nothing to do with original objective.
However, where people apply these stages on a certain aspect for fun purposes, some people actually relate to it as well and try to understand which stage they are on right now. It’s like they analyze their emotions and state of mind.
Actual Purpose of Five Stages of Grief According to Thanatology
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is known for introducing the “five stages of grief” based on their study in psychology, near-death experiences, and thanatology. However, it is originally about someone who is facing his own death or in a dying process, while looking to extend their mortality.
Nevertheless, these five stages serve as a great prospect that can be applied on grief that comes when a person lose its loved one. Basically, this process is all about accepting your own death. For instance, if someone is diagnosed with a disease at critical condition, it is genuine to go through the denial phase, because it’s difficult to accept a sudden news that you have not much time to live, which certainly leads to anger or a depression phase. As for bargaining, it’s common to do everything possible in exchange of your lives, people go for best treatments, religiously they pray, so they can be saved, and even stop doing things that can improve their disease, so they can last a little longer.
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However, when nothing possibly works during the last stage, finally, there comes the stage of acceptance, where people understand that they can’t live any longer and it’s their last time, which eventually clears their mind from regrets, depression, stress, and feeling of living longer.
So, it can be said that it’s not applicable to all conditions as the process is mostly based on thanatology. It is more about for people who are experiencing a near-death or close-to-death experience.
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byu/pororoca_surfer from discussion
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What’s the Conclusion?
Since this process is more suitable and applicable for people who are going through the close-to-death experiences or in the stage of dying, it is not possibly apply to all scenarios. However, even though the five stages of grief have been taken into account successfully according to the theories of thanatology and pschycology, it is not mentioned anywhere that these stages occur in a specific order, so it can’t be said that acceptance will only come after bargaining stage, it can come earlier. However, from the perception of a dying person, these stages seems like in order.
Also, there is not a specific timeline about the stage, it can pass earlier or take a little more time.