What to do when he pulls away? You cannot undergo anything more heartbreaking than witnessing your man pulling away from your relationship. You were happy in your relationship when suddenly you noticed something was wrong with your guy.
You might even be confused about whether you are worrying for nothing. Or is your guy distancing himself? But what if he is pulling away from you?
You might initially console yourself with excuses. This may include: maybe my guy is stressed or is under a lot of work pressure. Then reality hits you hard. So, here are a few signs for you to notice if your relationship is hitting rock bottom.
1. Signs to Notice If You Feel Your Man is Pulling Away
It is easy to find if your man has changed if you pay keen attention to his behavior. Below are the signs to look out for to know if your man is pulling away from you.
1.1. His Priorities Have Changed
Image by Wavebreakmedia from UnlimPhotos
Earlier, his priority would have been to spend time with you, speak to you over calls, and text you. But now, all these have become very rare.
Even during those rare occasions, you might not feel a connection. It will be as though everything is just a namesake. You might feel sad thinking about what to do when he pulls away from you.
1.2. His Attention is Elsewhere During Your Meetings
Where once you seemed to be his entire world, now he doesn’t even pay attention to you. You might be talking to him or sharing something with him. But you will notice that he is not paying attention. He seems to have gotten lost in his thoughts.
Though physically he might be present, you still feel like you miss him.
1.3. His Care Has Changed
Previously he would notice even if you had a minute change. He would have showered you with compliments. He would have been very concerned about you.
Now, you will notice that he doesn’t even have the time to look at you properly. You will feel the emotional connection missing between you two very evidently.
1.4. His Response to You is Delayed
No matter what, your guy would have promptly responded to your calls or text. Now, instant replies have just vanished.
Your guy who once used to be hooked to you through calls is now hard to find. He rarely calls or texts you. Even if you call or text him, he mostly never responds. Else you might get a one-word reply or a few seconds call to talk.
1.5. He Hides His Phone From You
He never attends to other calls or messages when you are around. Or, he keeps a distance from you while attending calls or texting.
Though you might think it is to give you undivided attention, your intuition says otherwise. Of all the signs, this sign is very evident that he is already pulling away from you.
1.6. He Never Misses to Find Fault With You
Image by Wavebreakmedia from UnlimPhotos
Your man who used to love every single action of yours is now a changed person. He finds fault with you even for the slightest things.
Though, as a human being, you cannot be perfect in everything; you still try to be on your best behavior. Alas! These good things of yours never seem to impress him.
1.7. He Always Finds Excuses to Stay Away
You will find your man making various excuses to stay away from you. You can identify that he has transformed entirely into a new person. This change will give you endless suffering. You might feel detached from everything.
But, speaking of all these changes in your guy, have you ever wondered why a guy pulls away from a loving relationship? It is vital to know the reason. So, let us analyze the scenarios of why a man pulls away from a relationship.
2. Why Does My Man Want to Pull Away From a Relationship?
Your relationship was moving on steadily when your man pulls away from you. Below are a few reasons for your man to do so.
2.1. He Might Not Be Ready For a Committed Relationship
Your man would have panicked looking at the speed of your relationship. He might consider it too fast. Another reason would have been that he required more time to settle down.
Your man would have loved the thrill of pursuing and the new attraction between you both. However, he would have got cold feet when it turned to long-term relationships.
A committed relationship requires a lot of effort. So, your man might have felt he is sacrificing his freedom in the run.
2.2. He Might Be Under a Lot of Stress
Image by Wavebreakmedia from UnlimPhotos
Are you noticing your man not being open with you anymore? Do you feel you are no longer of interest to him? Stop worrying. Your relationship might have got nothing to do with his behavior.
The reason men pull away is not that you have done something wrong. It is just that he might be under a lot of stress. The stress could be related to his profession or personal problems with his friends. He might also have some family issues.
Also, men handle stress differently than women. Men prefer to take care of stress on their own. Meanwhile, you cannot say the same about women. Women tend to handle their stress by letting it out to their dear ones.
2.3. He Might Pull Away As a Defense Mechanism
Some guys pull away as part of a defense mechanism. He might have had a bad past. Maybe he doesn’t want to undergo the same experience again.
He may need more space to figure out his own emotions, and to realize what his real needs are. Most guys generally will not share these things with you.
They think that it might make you worried. Hence, they stay away from you till they collect their thoughts. During this phase, you might ask yourself: What to do when he pulls away?
2.4. He Might Not Be Really Into You
Image by Wavebreakmedia from UnlimPhotos
During the early stages of your relationship, your partner would have appeared committed to you fully. However, all of a sudden, he becomes distant.
This distance might be because he would have deduced that you both are not on the same page. Hence, he pulls away from you, hoping that you will get the cues and come to a conclusion.
2.5. He Might Have Spotted Red Flags in Your Relationship
If your man pulls away due to red flags in your relationship, then this time, it is something related to you. What do you think these flags are? These flags include nagging and forcing him to do something out of his comfort zone.
Additionally, your man could also pull away if he is not confident about you in some matters. The matter could include your behavior too.
But, a red flag may not always be due to negative reasons. Your man may want an out from your relationship because he knows he cannot give you what you deserve.
Now, let us come to the part where you have to deal with the situation of what to do when he pulls away.
3. Is It Happening? How to Deal With the Situation?
It is hard to cope when your man is pulling away from you. The below steps may help you to deal with the situation.
3.1. What to Do When He Pulls Away? Give Your Man the Required Space
It is very unfortunate when your partner pulls away from your relationship. During this time, the best thing to do is remain calm. Don’t overthink and make things worse.
All that he is doing is taking space. You don’t have to fear losing him. It might not be over yet. You may still stand a chance. If that is the case, then the question of what to do when he pulls away is no longer required.
3.2. Ask Him About the Changes
Ask your man about the changes you feel in your relationship. Don’t conclude by yourself that your relationship is about to end. Tell him that the changes are bothering you. Be outright to him.
It is necessary to know if you both have a future together. Are you compromising for each other, or is it only from your side? Such things matter in life. If you don’t address these questions, you will be blindsided.
3.3. Don’t Jump Into Conclusions
Image by Wavebreakmedia from UnlimPhotos
A healthy relationship doesn’t involve jumping to conclusions about your partner. Numerous fights and misunderstandings occur when you assume things about your man.
So, you must take the time to understand what is going on with your man. Just don’t think space is the best thing he needs if you find him unhappy when together.
He might be under a lot of work pressure. He wouldn’t have even considered pulling away from you. It was all your assumptions.
3.4. Talk to Him
Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Once you hear your man asking for space, talk to him. Ask him what is bothering him. If your man is mature enough, he will share it with you.
But you have to take care of your communication style here. When you talk to your partner, refrain from blaming him. Don’t demand answers or hound him with accusations. Stay calm, and don’t complicate things in your relationship.
When your man asks for space, talk to him and be clear on what that means.
3.5. Don’t Pester Him
Your man has confirmed that he indeed needs space. He has also conveyed the reason for the same. So, what do you do now? Do nothing. Just give him what he has asked – the space.
It is evident that when your man withdraws from your relationship, you won’t be able to sit idle. You would have the urge to know the reason behind it. Your first instinct would be to somehow patch up with him.
But get a hold of yourself. It is necessary to respect your partner’s feelings. Because going against his words and pestering him for reconciliation will only worsen things. He may even distance himself further away from you due to your nagging.
3.5.1. Then What to Do When He Pulls Away?
Give him the much-deserved space. No calls or messages. No stalking on social media. No accidental meetings with him outside too. Have patience and keep waiting.
3.6. Get to Know How Much Space He Wants
When your man asks for space, know how much he exactly wants. Tell him what you want, and allow him to do the same. Find out if it is space he needs. Or is it an excuse to pull away?
Check if you can hold on to your relationship even after giving him what he wants. If not, tell him you are not cut out for it. You may have to consider searching for the answer to what to do when he pulls away.
3.7. Check if He Has Any Insecurities
Your man may have had a bad experience in his past relationship. When growing close to you, something would have kindled his memories. He wouldn’t want to go through those all over again. His insecurities may have cropped up.
As a result, he would have considered pulling away. How do you deal with this situation? Make him understand you will be there for him no matter what. Assure him he has your trust always. Shower him with unconditional love.
This love may pull him back to you. Now, what to do when he pulls away no longer stands.
3.8. Are You Speaking in His Love Language?
Photo by Kyle Broad on Unsplash/ Copyright 2015
What do you mean by his love language? It means showering him with love in the way he wants. It is not about loving him in the way you like. Identify how he likes to be loved. That is what is known as speaking in his love language.
Find out what he likes the most, whether he wants you to be involved in everything. Does he love getting your attention? Or is he subtle and goes for less romantic things?
Maybe he wants you to be there for him always rather than showing a public display of affection. The most relationship ends when you don’t know the love language of each other.
3.9. Have a Check on Your Expectations
Don’t expect him always to be lively, pay you undivided attention, or adjust. Sometimes he would also have faced a bad day. He might not be his usual self. Immediately don’t rush and conclude that he has lost interest in you.
Don’t panic that he is pulling away. It might not be so. He might be fighting his demons. It may include health concerns, a fight with his friends, a hectic day at work, or anything. It simply may have nothing to do with your relationship at all.
Understand that nobody can be perfect at all times. Your man will also have his share of ups and downs. Support him during those times. Don’t feel disappointed.
3.10. Know Your Limits
Sometimes, when your man wants to pull away, you are to accept it. If he has already made his choice, let him go. You cannot force him beyond a particular limit. It is an utter waste of time.
Come to terms with it. In a relationship, there should be equal commitments from both sides. If you alone hold on to the relationship, it has no value. Your man should also feel the same.
It will be hard to let go, as you may still feel something for him. You would have the urge to make him stay somehow. But never do that. You will lose your sanity. Instead, plan the next step when he pulls away.
3.11. Have a Broad Mind
It is natural to feel sad when your guy pulls away from you. But don’t stop communicating with him entirely. Make him feel at ease. Don’t pressure him.
Your man will notice that you are providing the space he needs. He will feel comfortable knowing he can resume the relationship without feeling guilty or manipulated.
This will make him trust you more, which is necessary for a good relationship.
3.12. Convey Your Emotions
Once you get your man back after his much-needed space, talk to him about your needs in a high-value way. Have you heard of this way before? This way involves being reliable and open with him.
Once you hear your man asking for space, you will find yourself feeling insecure. You will start doubting yourself. So, once he is back, pour out all your emotions. Putting up a brave front is not required.
But ensure that you don’t end up hurting him in the process. Be careful with your selection of words, and decide the perfect place and the exact time to do all these. Don’t make him go down the guilt lane. Tell him how the distance had an impact on you.
3.12.1. Get Help From a Relationship Coach
You must first know how to communicate effectively in your relationship. If you face any difficulties, asking for help from a relationship coach is a better option. They will guide you properly. This process will help you in making your relationship stronger.
3.13. Try Going to Therapy
Image by Wavebreakmedia from UnlimPhotos
You need to let out your feelings to someone. The time you realize your man has pulled away from you is a difficult phase. You will find it difficult to process. If you keep your emotions bottled up, it will affect your health physically and mentally.
Sometimes you might need professional help. So, try going for therapy. Speaking to your therapist about what you are going through will help you overcome the situation better.
So, once your man is back after a break, you may find it easy to take him back into your life.
4. What to Do When He Pulls Away Only After a Few Dates?
You have gone only on a few dates, and he is pulling away. Relax. It may not be the complete end of your relationship. You can follow the below steps meanwhile.
4.1. Don’t Panic
When you find a man pulling away during the early stages, don’t panic. There might be no mistake on your side. Before you start thinking of the worst, have a reality check.
Your relationship has just started to blossom. You have just gone on a couple of dates. There might be plenty of reasons for your man to stay aloof. He could have gotten held up with anything ranging from health concerns to project deadlines at work.
4.2. Don’t Contact Him Often
It is best to take your relationship slow in the early phases. Don’t bombard your guy with messages or calls or ask him for a date night often. Just go along with the flow. Reciprocate what he does.
If you find him pulling away from you, don’t pester him by asking the reason. You also stop contacting him for a while. It is natural to have the itch to get him back somehow. But ask yourself whether it is worth a shot. That too within a few short dates.
If you think contacting him repeatedly may work in your favor, you have the wrong idea. It will only push him further away from you. But why so? Because he will feel cornered and pressured. You have your own life to look after. Allow him to come back to you on his own.
4.3. Pay Attention to Your Interests
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash/ Copyright 2018
Now you have given your man his space. Kudos! Don’t you feel it is time to concentrate on yourself a little more? Because all this time your entire world would have revolved around your man.
You would have had fewer outings with your friends. Your hobbies would have taken a backseat. But you must never sacrifice your activities just because you have found your man.
You should balance your life goals and your man. Since now that he is a part of your life, your focus need not be entirely on him. Give equal priorities to both your interests and your relationship.
4.3.1. How to Rekindle Your Activities?
Hang out with your besties. Enroll in yoga, dance, or drawing classes. Enjoy other things, namely gardening or listening to music. You can even enjoy a relaxing spa massage.
Such things will boost your confidence and self-esteem. You will fall in love with yourself more. Now you won’t wonder what to do when he pulls away.
4.4. Change Your Daily Routine
Don’t get locked up in your room and go on a crying spree. You have gone only on a few dates. Just alter your daily routine a little.
Do you want further details on how to do it? Choose new places to dine rather than your regular place. Indulge in comedy movies rather than romantic movies.
Try to keep yourself engaged in activities. You can spend time with your friends more. Go shopping. It will uplift your mood when you see the colourful collections. Most importantly, try giving yourself a makeover. You will feel positive and confident with your new look.
5. FAQs
Is it Alright to Contact Your Man Often, Even After He Has Asked For Space?
No, never commit that mistake. Give your man what he wants. Once he has collected his thoughts, he will return to you.
What to Do After Giving Him the Space?
Focus on your life. Keep yourself occupied. Pamper yourself with love and care.
Bottom Line
Men pulling away from you is nothing new. Often, they require some space and time to sort out things in life. Once they are clear, they will come back to you as soon as possible. So, stay calm without worrying much about what to do when he pulls away.
Last Updated on by NamitaSoren
