Are you confused about love?
Everybody at some point in their life experiences a situation where they mistake some other feeling as love. They often have some fixed notions about love in their head or they might even be in love with the idea of being in love. Whatever your case, here are 21 reasons which will reveal it to you if you are confused about love or not.
1. The baby steps
Love happens in the privacy of our minds and it can happen anywhere. The dynamics are almost the same everywhere. With very little knowledge about the person in most cases.Though we have a deep-rooted sense of knowing them absolutely. That is what makes us confused about love.
2. The certainty
We become almost certain about them being the one only if circumstances allow. This situations start from early adolescence and continue like a frenzied madness. The certainty does not let you question how do I stop being confused about love
2.How we experience love
Often it happens in complete ignorance and it continues even when we should be actually aware of our true feelings.
But, they do sometimes bring out all the goodness in us including the smallest details.
3.The alternate reality
Thus we start creating an alternate reality with them where we dwell together in happiness and sadness.
We start showing sympathy and utmost care often going out of our ways also in some cases when it means harming our needs. We want to share our laughter and tears with them. In such cases, we end up getting more confused about love.
We try to open up to them and elaborate on the smaller details of our personality, sometimes secrets. This effort is a self-driven way to stop being confused about love. We try to see more than what meets our eye at this point. Most of the time it seems like madness but it does pacify us to think about loved ones even though they don’t feel the same way for us.
We tend to fall for the smaller details or parts of that human being and start thinking those skills complete the person.
In this course, we think about an ideal person and make an ideal image in our heads which does not match the person in the real world and that is when it starts to fall apart. We want them to fill in the voids of our life but we tend to forget that every human being has their share of troubles and is difficult to be around at times. The conflict of the ideal and real makes us confused about love.
6.Sides of the lovers
Everyone has their rough sides and from the tinier details, we may never know what those sides are. But if we hold on and give ourselves and them the required time things might turn out to be different. Misunderstandings result in us getting confused about love.
7. Why it is the way it is
Most of us have gone through inadequate parenting and we have not been used to handle anxiousness well. Thus we can fall for anyone at any time
8.How it harms you
We tend to think love is one of the greatest things we experience unless we come across it in its unrequited form.
Thus it becomes one of the most difficult things.
Most of the time love blinds you and it cripples you where you can’t even work. You procrastinate and deprive yourself of the most basic needs in your life.
The prolonged period of us being confused about love drains us more.
9.The blind love
We start looking at them like they are perfect. We start seeing them as both logical and poetic. Eventually, we romanticize the idea of being with them even when they are not there and thus get confused about love.
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To other people, it does end up looking utterly stupid while we don’t have any means to escape from this cycle.
Most of the time we are never able to tell them our true feelings. We build our hopes on them filtering out all disappointments. We want to save the best for them.
Often we delude ourselves and believe in the qualities of the person which do not exist.
Thus it is not the real qualities that bind us to them but the incomplete knowledge about them.
Ignorance feeds the obsession.
12. Feed ourselves with false truths
We try to be around them or keep them around just to derive the good vibes or feelings. We start putting them on higher pedestals and expect them to do things we want to live up to. These things in most cases are very unreal.
13. Real and unreal love
While you never get to know what they are actually thinking about you. In most cases, without your knowledge, they want to avoid or ignore you. Sometimes they can also be irritated by your presence.
14. Expectations from love
When our love is unrequited we never are offered any chances to get to know the person better.
So, in the end, we need to accept they are no different than us. So, it is wrong for us to expect too much from them.
15. Admiration and adoration in love
We mostly adore and admire them blindly because we do not know them at all and therefore we should realize they are not perfect.
We can put them in the position of a normal human being where being selfish, fragile, vulnerable are the basic parts of humans. Putting them in the same place as we are we can free ourselves from such ideal imaginations and situations.
16. Confusions about love
The essential key to stop being confused is to think maturely and constructively about the person we think we are in love with. This will help us know the real person.
17. Idealizing love
Eventually after getting to know the person we can try matching them up with the idealized person we have in our minds.
Knowing this should not be tragic or painful but something which might set us free.
We end up being confused because we never let ourselves find any reason not to overestimate the capabilities of the other person. When what we should actually cure ourselves with is trying to know them better.
18. Happiness in love
Your own happiness is necessary and if it comes from loving someone else then accept it and there is nothing to be confused about.
When only happiness is concerned we should consider and worry less about being loved back as long as loving them and knowing them is our happiness.
We try to say those three words and keep struggling because we want them to open up to us. We keep thinking telling them might drive them away or get them closer to us. But that was never the true feelings. Love is no business. If love makes you happy, then you deserve all that happiness and should not deprive yourself of it.
19. Wise decisions along with emotions
So how can we act wisely in such cases
We should not go by our instincts. Trusting our feelings has proved to be a disaster for decisions.
Since our feelings are mainly based on superficial knowledge and no real understanding of the person as a whole. So, rarely are their chances of the two being happy together. So, we should incline more towards happiness in knowing them completely otherwise it may just end up in a mess.
And often we try looking for familiarity in our lovers and not as different human beings. We want them to care for us like our parents do or our grandparents did.
20. The too logical or too romantic one
There are two extremities – We cannot be too logical in love or romanticize the idea of being in love too much
Often being too logical proves to be disgusting for the other person when the person is just seeking comfort. The lack of passion and bombarding them with logical answers every time may have proven to be discomforting for the person.
Since we try to seek logic in everything since our early days so, even in times we need just comfort through emotions, when the person tries to reason out problems with logic it irritates us.
Most of the time when we are in love we want the other person to be a pillar of reassurance. Their gesture to reason out things may not be a stupid act but a quick one just because they have never learned of other ways to comfort a person.
Also being too romantic can be fatal as it makes you live in imaginary worlds where you begin to see a life-long commitment with the person you are in love with.
21. Don’t confuse intimacy with love
It also makes you believe that physical intimacy and being in love are two alien concepts completely unique and discrete from each other while they are very much united. They work together thus it is never possible to have a passionate relationship with someone while only being physically intimate with them or it is never possible to be intimate with someone without harboring passionate feelings for them.