They say that every birth is a blessing to the people around. However, some deliveries1 are more blissful. Why? Because those babies are born โSINGLE,โ and their folks love them to the moon and back. Sometimes though, an overdose of this love may get the better of the single child. Sounds relatable enough?
Then read on! We give you the countdown to the seven struggles of being a single child in India.
7. Everybody Knows and Pampers Youย
From Mum to Dad, uncles, and aunts to maasi ke chaachi ka beta, bua ke mama ki beti, every soul in the family knows you. In India, they pamper2 you with gifts and blessings until you canโt breathe.
So check it against the 100 point slot on the popularity meter! Fake or real, you are the one who has to deal with both the excess love and pamper on your own. Well, well, arenโt you full of it already?
6. Every Family Member Becomes Customer Care Professional for You
Oh yeah! Whether you want it or not, almost everybody in the family will get to have a say in your life. (But not you!) The USP of this โ The complete care and concern that you get.
The bottom line โ The Vishesh Tippanis that NEVER EVER EVER STOP!
Whatโs scarier is that these vishesh tippanis often go from being helpful to being rather embarrassing in a matter of split seconds. They will start from the topic of how cute you were when โittu sa tha jab pehli baar dekha thaโ to which stream/ subject you should choose or pursue, and end with the discussion of your marriage and kids.
They would even plan out your non-existent grandkids for you if given a chance. If you happen to argue with them, be prepped up for the โIt is not only about you, but it is an โus-and -weโ thing.โ Ughh right?
5. Your Life Is Bound To Be Full of Drama!
Not the Ekta Kapoor kind, though the overreaction in some situations might be grossly similar. You being at the receiving end of it, would have to keep up with it while bearing the icy stares of the envious cousins.
Oh, and the Drama is almost forever intense. So if you are like me, brace yourselves to be on the receiving end of nonstop emotional atyachaar3, and welcome to adopting โsighingโ instead of breathing.
4. Overprotection Is the Number One Trending Word in Your Parentsโ Dictionaryย
Be it your school trip to some museum, a college road trip with your besties, or the first date. Your folks will load you with never-ending instructions, precautionary tools (read pepper spray here if you are a girl), and extra homemade food (if you are a boy) just in case of an emergency.
Think thatโs the limit? Nope! Theyโll call you at least ten times to ask you if you are okay, if you need anything or if you are coming home soon until you actually leave everything mid-way and get home.
Look at the bright side; if you ever need to go somewhere else while you were out on your little rendezvous, give them a call, and theyโll come to your rescue no matter what.
3. Forced Holidays and Tag Alongsย
The moral of the story is that parents can also act weird if they are obsessed with their only child. Period! Almost every single child has experienced this at least once during their teenage. Do I need to explain any further?
(*Psst. The other day, I saw two aged couples fighting their way inside the venue of our collegeโs Freshersโ welcoming party when they overheard their children talk about the DJ who was making us all dance inside. Enough, โthatโ happens only in India! :3)
2. Stalker Pro Whose Key to Life Is a โNOโ
Anything that involves you being out of their sight even for 24 hours meets with a strict no. A โnoโ meant only for their beloved child. As if life isnโt irritating enough already, some Indian parents have also turned tech-savvy, and mind you, no matter where you hide, they will find you, and they will hack you to stalk you until they find a single nano-sized black dot in your alibi.
If you happen to argue and make them see a reason for this, meet the ultimate weapon โ Slap! That ruins every frigginโ thing!
1. Promotion? Marriage? or Childbirth? the Massive Family with The Ld Rs Will Always Be Present!
Yes, LDRs, aka Long Distant Relatives (most of who are often unknown to us), necessarily sprang into action and came to congratulate and โparty with youโ from nowhere.
From maasi and buas to their relatives and friends and more relatives who have ten indirect lineage relations with you somehow, they might never even greet you outside of the home. Still, if you get an achievement, theyโll indeed crash in for free excellent food and booze.
Following this is the ever tedious and never-ending process of getting introduced to them while assessing their relation to you and being nice to them even if you do not want to.
However, in India, we have a peculiar feature. No matter how nuclear your family is, it is through events like this that you realize that your โkhaandaanโ is larger than the geographical size of Australia. #RealityCheck โ โThis is supaaaa awkward!โ
So now that you have finally got the list of a single childโs agony, here is an essential life hack to escape from 90% of all the situations listed above. Do you want to know what?
IGNORE! (and keep ignoring until the person does not bother you anymore. Until then, best of luck to the single you! ๐
- Guillรฉn, รrsula, et al. โGuidelines for the management of extremely premature deliveries: a systematic review.โย Pediatricsย 136.2 (2015): 343-350. โฉ๏ธ
- Mamen, Maggie.ย The Pampered Child Syndrome: How to Recognize it, How to Manage it, and How to Avoid itโA Guide for Parents and Professionals. Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2005. โฉ๏ธ
- Narayan, Rudresh. โReailty show vimarsh avam vishleshan reference sa re ga ma KBC Big boss Swamber Sach ka samna emotional atyachar.โ โฉ๏ธ
Last Updated on by NamitaSoren
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