Agonizing Emptiness (10 Helpful Tips)

Anjali Nair
8 Min Read

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People have an apathetic1 trend of guiding others towards ecstasy by advising them to be social, do what they like to do, go out more, make friends, and many more. But, if you agonize over your emptiness, you first have to understand a few fundamental things.

  • Loneliness is a feeling, not a fact.
  • You are not the only human being who is going through this.
  • Everyone doesn’t need to understand you.
  • It is okay if you are unable to express yourself2.
  • The only one who can help you get over this feeling is yourself.

10 Helpful Tips to Get Over Emptiness

Now, let’s discuss a few easy things to help you get over this feeling of emptiness.

1. Change Your Daily Routine 

Yes, the first thing you must do to get over emptiness is changing your daily routine. If you observe and retrospect your daily routine, you will see that you do nothing. Change your daily routine to something more productive, a routine that will involve your hobbies3 and other activities.

2. Start Using Journals

A top view of a woman's hands writing in a journal
By Natalie Board/ Shutterstock

It is impossible for someone going through a widespread feeling called emptiness to socialize with others and even with family and friends. You can befriend a journal anytime to keep notes of what exactly makes you feel sad4, what plans you have, what changes you want in your life, and how far you are working on it, or to make notes of your progress and appreciate yourself every day.

3. Write Your Heart Out 

One thing that emptiness causes are Alexithymia5, which means not being able to express oneself verbally. When you feel like you cannot talk, or you are unable to make the person in front of you understand what exactly you want to say. Just write it out; write every day. You will gradually see the change in yourself.

4. Be Productive 

Women working out at a gym
By 4 PM, production/ Shutterstock

I know you have heard this a lot from your parents and teachers. Imagine starting your day with a workout and a giant mug of coffee, then spending your entire day reading your favorite book, drawing or writing something you have wanted to do for a long time, or watching a Harry Potter movie or F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

You will notice that you will wake up the next day with that same energy, and slowly your emptiness will fade away.

5. Keep Your Room Clean

A clean room - Emptiness
By IvyStock/ Shutterstock

Keeping your room clean helps you get over any natural lousy feeling or emptiness. Try to decorate your room with drawings you have made or upload pictures or quotes on the wall that make you happy and motivate you daily.

Those are the few easy steps that will help you distract yourself from the thoughts of loneliness.

6. Change Your Group

You need your group of friends. When you are going through loneliness6, you should change yourself and everything around you for your good. Try to talk to others and make friends through social media. If your existing friends have not attempted to make you feel better about your loneliness, it’s time to look out for better company.

7. Talk to People Who Feel Like You

Share the thoughts that make you feel unhappy and lonely with those who feel just the same as you because they will have nothing to advise you. Let the sonder sink in. When you start sharing your thoughts or your story with others, try to be a good listener. Listen to whatever they have to say, and eventually, you will realize that your thoughts and feelings are nothing in front of their thoughts and story.

8. Be Kind to OthersAn act of kindness

By Kaisha Morse/ ShutterstockIt is not easy to stay in a good mood but try to listen to others and help others through their problems. If you help others, be kind to them, generously talk to them, and realize that their happiness, smile, and the way they will greet you by saying, “Thank you” with such genuine gratitude will make you feel better. So, always be kind to others; thus, you are kind to yourself.

9. Be Curious About Everything Around You

A woman with curious expressions
By Roman Samborskyi/ Shutterstock

To distract you from those feelings of emptiness or loneliness, try to be curious about everything. You might have heard a lot that curiosity increases your knowledge. If you read a book or have attended a class on a particular novel, try to know more. Try to search about the author and his life and the situation in which they have written that particular novel or story.

When you are curious about other subjects or topics, you would not have the time to think about the feelings of loneliness that you are going through.

10. Focus on Your Needs and Not on Sad Thoughts

Needs can be walking under a starry sky or going on a self-date, meeting a school friend who was your best friend in school, or meeting your grandparents who are away from you.

Any slight change can get you out of this feeling of loneliness. Try out these few steps whenever you feel that you are lost or off the track is not necessary that these specific steps can help you; you can have your way of getting out of this widespread feeling. Always remember it is only you who can motivate you.

Gone are those days

Of unrelenting grins.

Gone are those moments

Of sweet confidence.

Now bound by fear

Of approaching vacuum.

Ephemeral talks

As a time, rush.

Skips the reasons for togetherness,

As new contentment lies with the world.

Undue waiting

To regain a life of the bond.

Lost cognitive

Amelioration turns out to be annihilation

Calling up distrust.

Blurred mirage

In my deserted days

That mourns on memories.

The mind is numb,

Tangled with riddles.

Daydreams vanished,

Unnerving nightmares.

The mirror reflects

Freezing images.

I hope black turns red soon,

I hope the fragrance fills the air,

May Venus bless us again,

To regain our mirth,

Regaining us,

Once again.

Please share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

  1. Greenson, Ralph R. “The psychology of apathy.” The Psychoanalytic Quarterly 18.3 (1949): 290-302. ↩︎
  2. Dezeuze, Anna. “Express Yourself!.” Variant 31 (2008): 3-4. ↩︎
  3. Gelber, Steven M. Hobbies: Leisure and the culture of work in America. Columbia University Press, 1999. ↩︎
  4. Bunkers, Sandra Schmidt. “The lived experience of feeling sad.” Nursing Science Quarterly 23.3 (2010): 231-239. ↩︎
  5. Lesser, Ira M. “A review of the alexithymia concept.” Psychosomatic medicine 43.6 (1981): 531-543. ↩︎
  6. Russell, Daniel. “The measurement of loneliness.” Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research and therapy 36 (1982): 81-104. ↩︎

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Hi folks I'm doing ma graduation in english literature.I belong to kerala basically. Writing has been my passion since my childhood.There are certain things which can't be orally communicated.But such expressions n emotions can be penned out.I believe writers can change the world "pen is mightier than the sword"