When a person feels anger, the body’s response to the stressful stimuli1 causes people to act or behave in a different way or style. To cope with the sudden rush of adrenaline, the body’s blood pressure2 and heart rate3 increase.
St. Jerome, a famous historian, and Theologian, once quoted, “The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.”
Building Up the Rage
Have you ever felt this way? You see or hear or feel something that, according to you, is not correct. Your mind starts talking to you, giving you all these ideas on why this is happening to you and defending you by making you believe you don’t deserve this. That gives rise to frustration4 and rage.
Most of the time, anger or rage is formed even before the person realizes it, and conquering it becomes so more difficult because the body can only react to the emotions. The control is already lost. Then guilt follows. Questions like why I got angry, was it necessary, and What was I thinking swept through your mind. And negative emotions take over even after it subsides.
The good news is that these body rituals can be neutralized. You don’t have to be a slave to these negative emotions, but it requires honest effort. First of all, you have to acknowledge that it cannot be eliminated. Anger, being a fundamental emotion5, can break out anytime as the world around is unpredictable.
All you can do and need to do is change the way you are affected by such events. Therefore, controlling your angry responses through proactive actions may keep you from making yourself and others unhappy in the longer run.
1. Identify the Emotion
The most effective way to prevent this negative emotion is to identify it and end it before it gets out of control. Fortunately for us, our body and actions can give us hints/cues that anger has started to form inside us. All we need to do is to focus.
1.1. Physical
The rapid increase in heartbeat, blood pressure, tensing of muscles and increased sweating.
1.2. Behavioral
Our behavior with others when feeling frustrated, clenching muscles and jaws, raising one’s voice, furrowing our brow, excessive staring, etc.
1.3. Emotional
Accompanying the rising anger are feelings of insecurity, helplessness, frustration, shame, and guilt.
1.4. Thoughts & Feelings
Our thoughts are the ignition engine for anger. If anger is accompanied by ‘Self-talk’ with disturbing mental visuals and images or unnecessary comparison with previous incidents, it will negatively impact.
1.5. Fantasizing
Dreaming or fantasizing about taking revenge on someone perceived as an enemy can escalate.
2. Anger Management Techniques
Why am I getting angry now? The realization of why should be the first step. Is it because it grabs attention, is it because you feel less wanted or less critical, or is it because anger makes you feel strong? Let me tell you; all these are myths. It’s not true. During the time of anger, you can follow these steps:
Be honest with yourself. Identify what is driving the anger, is it hurt, pain or fear. Once you know the reason, focus on the present moment, and anger cannot survive without the past or future.
Say goodbye to Revenge thoughts & Stories. If they don’t serve you well, you don’t need those fantasies.
‘I’ am right to ‘We’ are right. Excess Self-importance6 drives anger. The ‘I am right, and you are the wrong attitude’ attracts negativity and fuels anger.
Ultimately no one can make you angry. It is entirely your decision to use anger to respond to a situation. So, don’t.
- Horowitz, Mardi J., and Stephanie S. Becker. “Cognitive response to stressful stimuli.” Archives of General Psychiatry 25.5 (1971): 419-428. ↩︎
- Pinto, Elisabete. “Blood pressure and ageing.” Postgraduate medical journal 83.976 (2007): 109-114. ↩︎
- Rajendra Acharya, U., et al. “Heart rate variability: a review.” Medical and biological engineering and computing 44 (2006): 1031-1051. ↩︎
- Yates, Aubrey J. “Frustration and conflict.” (1962). ↩︎
- Ekman, Paul Ed, and Richard J. Davidson. The nature of emotion: Fundamental questions. Oxford University Press, 1994. ↩︎
- Aquino, Karl, and Americus Reed II. “The self-importance of moral identity.” Journal of personality and social psychology 83.6 (2002): 1423. ↩︎
Last Updated on by NamitaSoren