Growing Up As An Object of Lust in India, to all the lovely women out there, have you ever wondered who decided that rosy lips, waxed arms and legs, kajal coated eyes, and manicured nails are what is required for a woman to be termed well-groomed and good looking?
They say beauty lies in the beholder’s eye, but what made it a general trend to call these women who wear cosmetics, dress up in tight clothes, have a light complexion, and look anorexically thin beautiful?
What made fat or dark women ugly but fair and thin women1 good-looking? Being thin is a way of eating, a way of life, a result of genetics2. Why is it related to beauty?
Women Are Not an Object!
When you lookup for the meaning of the word ‘black’ in the dictionary, it says dark, evil, wrong, hidden, absence of everything, etc. When the mere color black is viewed as evil and looked at with so much hatred, what would make society any better regarding people with dark skin color3?
Today it is mandatory for a woman to groom herself up with the so-called beauty-enhancing cosmetics to make her look bright, attractive, persuasive, or even seductive. I have seen several people prefer golden, silver, or other shiny colored items over others when they go to a store.
Are we an object to shine so that we can attract people? Society has infused this into us over a long time, little by little. Society has hence grown us up as objects, objects of lust.
Treat Us Equally!
God created baby boys and girls the same way. This baby grows up to behave like a man or a woman only in the way society teaches it to. Girls are dressed in pink and given dolls to play with while boys are dressed in red or black and given cars to play with. We are grown up as subtle, soft, silent, and hence passive and submissive beings right from when we were kids.
The definition of ladylike should be decided by women who go through womanhood, not by society. A woman is adorned with jewels in gold, platinum, and precious metals and stones, while the right over these jewels belongs to the men. That makes us showpieces to display somebody’s wealth and possession, right? It is pretty heartbreaking that they’re labeled as rebels when a girl questions such unfair treatment.
One day I was late on my way home back from college. It was around eight ‘o’clock in the night. When I called my mum to tell her this, she asked me to be cautious. She said it wasn’t safe for girls to come back home at that hour. When I got down at the bus stop nearest my house, I realized she was right.
There were only a couple of women, accompanied by male companions. There weren’t many women on the roads in a country like India, where a vast population of women works late at night. If there is only one woman on the street unaccompanied by any men, she’s not going to be comfortable with it.
But what if we make a revolution? What if there were 100 women on the road at 9 at night? I’m sure so many women return home at that hour in every locality. Would it be much safer right?
This is for all the protective parents out there;
Dear women, we are not objects, items, figures, assets, or liabilities. We are humans born on earth and growing up in society, working hard to find the purpose of life and striving to change the world. Please don’t ask your daughters to be careful; ask your sons to behave themselves.
We have interests, likes, dislikes, emotions, hopes, and fears4 like any other living thing. This freedom of choice, the freedom to decide how we want to live, should be taken, grabbed forcefully, acquired, and not taken for granted.
Hey, society, we are not prisoners or slaves for you to broad-mindedly give us freedom. We can handle it ourselves!
About the author
I am Sruthi, a Bio-medical Engineering student at SSN College of Engineering at Chennai. Passionate about reading, writing, craft, and doodling. Great foodie, constantly in search of restaurants. If you have any comments, mail me at sruthimuthu@gmail.com.
- Hawkins, Nicole, et al. “The impact of exposure to the thin-ideal media image on women.” Eating disorders 12.1 (2004): 35-50. ↩︎
- Klug, William S., and Michael R. Cummings. Concepts of genetics. No. Ed. 7. Pearson Education, Inc, 2003. ↩︎
- Jablonski, Nina G. “The evolution of human skin and skin color.” Annu. Rev. Anthropol. 33 (2004): 585-623. ↩︎
- Taylor, Steven. “The hierarchic structure of fears.” Behaviour Research and Therapy 36.2 (1998): 205-214. ↩︎
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