How to Deal With Irrational Elderly Parents: 10 Effective Ways

You are in your 30s and watching your parents get old. Not only are they getting old, but they are becoming irrational; sometimes, they don’t even listen to you and act so stubbornly. First of all let us tell you that children and old people are the same, although they have knowledge of the world when people become older they start acting like children.

However, there are some more things you’ll need to keep in mind, and you will have to be more careful with things. So, let’s just get into the topic and learn how to deal with irrational elderly parents.

1. How to Deal With Irrational Elderly Parents

It is so important to approach them with empathy, understanding, and supportive and effective communication in these situations in order to maintain a healthy relationship with them and provide the best care possible. Let’s talk about some effective ways you can follow to handle your irrational elderly parents.

1.1. Understanding Behaviour in Irrational Elderly Parents Dealing

As our parents age, their mental and physical health can deteriorate due to tons of reasons that lead them to cognitive decline, dementia, or any other health conditions.

In this phase of their life, they need a lot of care from their children, and as a matter of fact, they deserve it. These changes can considerably impact their behavior, which leads to a health condition where they usually forget things.

They also get easily irritated and get confused in many situations. It is very important for adult children to recognize this behavior and understand that this behavior of their parents is not intentional. This behavior stems from a different underlying cause, such as fear, anxiety, or simply the natural aging process itself.

These signs can be the signs of Alzheimer’s disease, in disease they may become more forgetful about everything and easily frustrated due to their diminishing cognitive abilities. So in such situations, it is very important for children to remember that they are not in control of their actions and make sure they are offered compassion, support, and tons of love.

1.2. Recognising Common Triggers of Irrationally

In order to effectively and understandably deal with your stubborn aging parents, it is important to identify common triggers that lead them to their irrational behavior.

These triggers can be extreme frugality, fear of losing control of things, or feeling overly vulnerable. Identify these triggers of your parents because understanding these triggers will help you to approach their situation with more patience and empathy than they need right now.

For example, many times, some elderly parents have become extremely frugal and become increasingly obsessive about saving their money. It is very important for you as a child to understand and identify this behavior.

In such cases, offering them reassurance and understanding their concerns can go a long way in helping them, and it will also make them feel more secure.

1.3. Practicing Empathy and Compassion

Empathy is also one of the important components when it comes to dealing with older adults. To understand their situation, you will have to put yourself in their shoes once, and you will recognize how they are feeling.

Once you do that, you will understand what challenges they are facing, and it will help you to approach this situation with more understanding and compassion.

Showing them a little bit of empathy and compassion can ease their anxiety, and it will also help you to build a stronger bond between adult children and their aging parents. All these efforts of children can bring happiness to the house.

For example, if your elderly parent becomes stubborn about making their own decision despite cognitive decline, it is very important to listen to them and try to understand their fears and concerns with an empathetic ear.

Remember, dismissing their wishes only makes things worse, rather than acknowledging their emotions and offering them support can make them feel heard and valued.

1.4. Effective Communication Strategies

Now, let us tell you that communication is the key when it comes to dealing with irrational parents. So many difficult situations arise when things are not talked out among the family members. Also, you’ll have to know that communicating with your elderly will require some or maybe a lot of adjustment.

Just remember those moments when you were a small child, and your parents used to make tons of adjustments for you, and also understand that whatever you do will not be enough for your parents for what they did for you.

Using simple language will help you to have good communication with them. Also, don’t forget to be patient and avoid confrontation while you communicate with your parents.

There are times when an aging parent has difficulties understanding their medication schedule. It is your duty to simplify the instructions for them and use visual aids; it can make the information more accessible and will lessen their confusion and frustration.

1.5. Setting Boundaries and Managing Expectations

While compassion and understanding are important aspects of dealing with irrational elderly parents, setting boundaries is equally important for the well-being of both the adult children and the elderly parents.

Managing your expectations from each other in the family, whether it’s your mom or dad, is equally important. Understand recognizing that we might not control their actions, but controlling their reactions is in our hands.

For example, there are some cases when an elderly parent’s behavior becomes verbally abusive, which is not easily tolerable. To avoid setting clear boundaries and letting them know that such language is unethical and unacceptable might help you to maintain a healthy relationship.

In such cases, prioritizing reassurance and providing them with proper resources for respite care can help reduce the stress for both the adult child and the aging parent.

1.6. Seeking Professional Advice and Support Group

Yes, you can seek professional advice and support if you try everything and nothing works. Remember, seeking professional advice is not something you should be ashamed of; it is the opposite of that. Let us tell you how, when there are so many challenges you are facing, and nothing is working when you are dealing with your irrational elderly parents, seeking professional advice and support can be so beneficial for you.

For example, suppose your elderly parents are exhibiting extreme frugality to the point of jeopardizing their health or well-being. You can contact a financial advisor who is experienced in eldercare and can offer good advice on how to manage your finances while making sure you have the necessary resources for your care and well-being.

1.7. Encouraging Healthy Lifestyle Changes

Health is also a major aspect you need to take care of your parents. This will turn out to be a very good thing if you promote a healthy lifestyle for your whole family, and you will see a positive impact of that in just a few days.

Encourage your parents to engage in physical activities like walking and exercising, tell them to have a balanced and healthy diet, and last but not least, convince them to maintain a regular sleep schedule. Once you start giving importance to all of this, you will start seeing results in a flash. These lifestyle adjustments can improve their overall well-being and potentially reduce their irrational behavior.

1.8. Addressing Memory and Cognitive Issues

Memory issues and cognitive decline are common in old people. If your aging parents are also experiencing these issues, it is important you address these concerns with them with some compassion and understanding. Try to remind them gently about important events or appointments.

Whether the event is going to happen or has already happened in the past, just be gentle with them while you try to remind them about those events. If you are cruel, it can backfire on you so badly. Also, just make sure they take their prescribed medications properly, as said earlier.

1.9. Promoting Independence and Decision-Making for Your Aging Parents

Making your own decisions and having independence is a very important aspect of a person’s life. It becomes more important when you are dealing with irrational elderly parents. It’s crucial to foster their independence and capability to make decisions as much as you can. Allow them to make choices that do not put their safety at risk, even if the decisions may seem unconventional.

And if you observe that the decision they are making can get them into some kind of risk, sit with them and tell them about the consequences politely. As we don’t like to be questioned about our decisions, they feel the same, but when you tell them about the consequences with care in your eyes, they will understand it.

1.10. Creating a Safe and Supportive Environment

Not just when you are dealing with irrational parents but also in every family, you should have a safe and supportive environment for each other. But if you are dealing with irrational parents, it becomes more important to have such an environment. For the well-being of your elderly parents, a secure and encouraging environment is crucial.

Make sure the place they are living in is free from any kind of hazards and make necessary accommodations to help them navigate their daily activities with ease. When they will see you are doing all of this for them, they will feel so good and loved which can make your bond stronger with them.

Final Words

In conclusion, our final thoughts are that we agree that dealing with an irrational person can be so challenging, and in this world where you need to focus on your career and life also, it might be more difficult for many children, but it is important to approach the situation with an understanding and empathy.

As adult children or family caregivers, we all need to recognize that aging parents may exhibit irrational behavior due to many reasons, including cognitive decline or other mental health. To better understand their perspective, we must communicate openly and listen to their concerns with open ears.

Last Updated on March 4, 2024 by parinaparmar