Things can easily go haywire in a dominating relationship 1when the person tries to control you on the pretext of love. No matter your relationship – be it with your friend, family, spouse, or even your boss. So what do you do now? You learn how to deal with it.
Generally, people mistake love for domination when they are in a relationship. Or even if they are petrified to stand up against their senior when it comes to a professional relationship.
When a person wants you to be in the palm of their hands, control you at all times or even when a person wants to micromanage every aspect of your life. It can be irritating.
Well, worry no more because there are many ways in which you can put a stop to their ‘dominating’ habits. You can stand up to them in a firm yet civil manner and stop them from getting in your way and causing a hindrance. Check out the various ways how can you deal with a dominating person.
How To Deal With A Dominating Person
When they try to control your decisions and emphasize picking their way of doing things by forcing you, that’s how you know that you are dealing with somebody who is a dominating person.
Are you constantly being flooded with unsolicited opinions? Are you frustrated with such kind of a relationship? Well, you are controlled and dominated by your partner, friend, and supervisor or with who so ever you are into this dominating relationship.
You need to realize and then acknowledge it if you are in a relationship with a dominant person.
Let’s be honest here: dominating people can be quite manipulative and interfering. Initially, when you are with the dominating person you don’t realize the impact they are causing on your life, but slowly the relationship turns into something toxic which only leads to disasters and it never ends well.
Living in a relationship with a dominating person ties the other person’s life up in knots. Hence, the person needs to understand the controlling behaviour of the dominant. Why? Because ending the relationship isn’t a possible solution when it comes to your loved ones.
Before soaking up how to deal with dominating people, let us try to latch on to the term ‘Dominating’. Have you ever mulled why your partner, friend, boss, supervisor, or whoever you are tired of wants to dominate over you?
Do you ever wonder why they are interested in micromanaging your life? You find it difficult to be yourself around them. Don’t you?
Well, there can be many reasons behind this and they vary from person to person. To list some of them, the first category of people is those who are not able to control themselves and then end up controlling the control others. This happens on a psychology-based level and there can be a plethora of factors behind it.
The second category is where the person is filled with the insecurity of being jilted. They do not feel safe and secure in their relationship and keep trying out ways to know how secure they are which on the other hand turns out to be dominating.
You might not believe the reason behind it but yes, these are some of the factors leading you in a push and pull relationship. And hence the question arises what can one do when they dins theirselves stuck in such a situation? Hang on right here and know more about it.
So how do you handle your Controlling Partners in day to day lives? Well, there is no magic wand to wave but there are tried and tested methods to deal with the person.It varies from person to person and where do you stand in a person’s life. Considering the entire factors one must try to talk out the issue with the person. But here are some:
1. Set Your Partner Or Friend Straight About Your Rights
Dominating people love breaking people’s boundaries and venture in their comfort zone. You need to step right back and make them clear, the behavior you won’t tolerate.You have to tell them how you want to be in charge of certain things and stop them from interfering.
Put up the rules and explain to them how the person’s behavior is disturbing you.
For example, if you feel like reading a book but your partner wants you to work, you have to take those baby steps then and there and need to express your willingness to read a book and be straight with your answer that is “NO”.
2. You Have To Maintain Your Calm.
A dominating person would love to push your buttons and try to make you do your job without you realizing it. If you work on how to react subtly and show the person that you can’t be egged on easily, they will not get up your nose.
In the heat of the moment, you don’t have to lose your cool and try to be relaxed. Click here to read more about ways to calm your mind.
3. Identify The Controlling Patterns that the Domination Person Is Using
There are numerous ways a person can pick to dominate another person’s life. The controller can glue his or her opinions at each aspect of the person’s life.
The controller can even sort to humiliation, abashing, or demeaning the person at every given point. Understanding the patterns can let the person dwell on the root cause of such behaviors.
4. Give Yourself The ‘Work In Charge’ Tag
You have to set boundaries for yourself. You have to break free from this pattern of the intrusion by your partner and take your decisions.
Keep repeating this message in your mind – ‘I am in control of my opinions and my freedom.’ ‘No one has the right to take it away from me’.
Assuring yourself and taking in charge voluntarily help you to boost your confidence and let the other person know that you are assertive.
5. Avoid Coming Up With A Negative Comeback
The dominating person is waiting for you to get hot under the collar so that he or she can trap and intrigue you into an argument. In the heat of the moment, you have to calm yourself and be open to certain ways that you do not personally like.
Instead of blurting things out, you have to brace yourself up and put down your point in a very subtle manner. By doing this, you are sliming the chance of falling into an argument. This will serve you to save your time and efficiency.
6. Your Anticipation Should Be In Touch With Reality
Changing and transforming into a new person or even for letting go of a hobby for that matter is not child’s play. And hence keeping this reality check in your mind, you must not expect the person letting go of his or her ‘controlling habits’.
You might find yourself in the same situation and repeated arguments. Of course, it won’t be easy to ignore but walking away from the situation might help you to ease out.
7. Don’t Blindfold Yourself In Love
It will be hard-pressed at first to be firm with your partner. But you have to put an end to the control freaking behavior of your partner. You can’t simply put your partner’s need over yours. You have to be aware of your rights and put forward your comfort zone.
Ensure that you come to terms with your partner about how you want to practice and take your decisions. Communication is the best key2 to it. Instead of evaluating in your mind, spit it out and your loved ones will understand.
8. Seek Help
If the situation is getting out of your hands then it is a red flag for you. You have to switch to other options like seeking help from your families, friends, and even consulting psychiatrist.
9. Do Not Get Overwhelmed By Your Sentiments.
It’s time for you to get up and come with a comeback instead of moping and fretting. Get your facts and words ready. Collect various pieces of evidence and proofs to tell them how they were wrong in their actions.
Take your time to practice the correct tone of speech so that you deliver your message to your dominating boss, friend, or partner. If you are prepared on how to tackle and deal with the situation by practicing a few steps well in advance, your battle is already conquered.
10. Keep A Check On Yourself
When you are constantly exposed in an aggressive and dominating circumstance do not forget to take care of yourself. Maintaining the right mental health must be your priority.
Regular interactions with a dominating person can make you feel dull and frustrated. Ensure that you give yourself a proper space. Eat and drink healthy food.
Practicing meditation3 and breathing exercises will help you to soothe yourself and will make you feel light. Little things that make you happy like listening to music, drawing, and dancing will surely lighten your mood.
11. If Nothing Works, Limit Your Conversation With The Person
After working your fingers to the bone, if the person still chooses to be oppressive and dominating then cutting yourself from the person and limiting your conversation seems to be the ideal way of getting out of the situation.
Try to avoid them whenever necessary. For example, if you have a controlling friend then limit your interaction with him or her in your short breaks or try not to team up with him or her in school projects.
12. Get Over The Relationship If You Cannot Take It Anymore
When the dominating person is not able to change his or her habits, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible as it will malign for your mental and physical health. People can damage you internally without making you realize. Walk away from the person then and there.
There are many ways in which something positive can change your life. Click here to read more about it.
Dominance, power, and control are inbuilt in human nature. These are necessary for human interaction.
But if the dominating person exceeds his or her limit and tries to dominate you, again and again, you have to take actions and alert yourself.
So the next time you find yourself stuck in a situation with a dominating person, try to use these tips and work your way out!
- Aquino, Karl, and Kristin Byron. “Dominating interpersonal behavior and perceived victimization in groups: Evidence for a curvilinear relationship.” Journal of Management 28.1 (2002): 69-87. ↩︎
- Heath, Robert L. “Best practices in crisis communication: Evolution of practice through research.” Journal of Applied Communication Research 34.3 (2006): 245-248. ↩︎
- Pepping, Christopher A., et al. “Why do people practice mindfulness? An investigation into reasons for practicing mindfulness meditation.” Mindfulness 7 (2016): 542-547. ↩︎
Last Updated on by Sathi