Dear ‘Special One’,
I don’t write heartfelt messages to strangers. But today, as I see innumerable couples around me, walking hand in hand amongst the blooming flowers, this Valentine’s Day, somehow I’m compelled to think of you.
I don’t know who you are yet. Maybe we’re strangers for now, and I’ll meet you in a couple of years. Maybe you’re hiding somewhere amongst the people I have known all my life, and we’re almost transparent to each other presently. Maybe you’re amongst my well-wishers or friends, and we already share a close bond, but that bond is yet to experience that abyss-depth of love.
I know this for sure, and you’ll be one hell of a person. How else would you manage to make ME fall in love with you *winks*? I know I might come across as somewhat intimidating at first. I am a free bird. I hate being chained. I live my life on my own terms. A quintessential no-nonsense person; that’s who I am.
However, I do admit that I’ve been naive in the past. I’ve made mistakes, but that has only made me stronger. And the greatest consequence of that is that I don’t trust anyone easily with this wall around my heart that doesn’t break apart. But I trust you in that; you’ll surely manage to convince me to let my guard down eventually. I should warn you that it will be an uphill task.
And this means that I will take my own sweet time to start trusting you as well. I might continue being in denial even if my heart screams that I feel so deeply for you. I might target the storm inside me as rage at you, ‘cause what I will feel for you will be stronger than anything I would’ve ever felt.
You will wonder who I really am; the one you love, the person who is as calm as the vast oceans’ surface, or the one who is as erratic and full of turmoil as the occasional tsunami, simply impossible to be around without facing misery. And at times, you might even question if I am really worth facing all that because I might not even give you a sign until you really catch me at my most vulnerable. I might become your biggest challenge. But hey! It’ll be worth the time and the effort.
But it’s just that I’m scared of being heartbroken and trodden down, of letting someone take advantage of my vulnerability if I reveal it. I consider love the greatest force in the universe, and I tend to fall hard when I fall in love.
I will need to protect myself from any intense emotional damage, and that is why I’ll be so hard on you. I will make you go through my own ‘stringent quality checks.’ But if you refuse to let go of me even when I’m trying hard to run away from you and hide in my own cocoon, I promise you will see me transforming from a hopelessly emotionless person to a hopelessly romantic one.
I once read this beautiful quote somewhere, and I know that ‘someone’ for me will be you-
“Having perfected our disguise, we spend our lives searching for someone we don’t fool.”
All this doesn’t mean that you’ll be the only one who will put effort into our relationship. Just convince me that you love me truly, and I’ll walk through hell for you. I’ll hold you through the mightiest storms, just the way you’ll refuse ever to let go of me. I’ll pass through your own ‘stringent quality checks,’ no matter how tough they are, just the way you’ll have faced everything for me.
I know I come with my own set of flaws and rough edges, but my loyalty is stronger than blood, and it’ll make me fight against the world for you if I need to. And I’ll be totally willing to match up to the gem you are, ‘cause the best deserves the best. I’ll do my best to be your best decision ever, your dream-come-true. No matter how tough the going gets, I will choose you. And I will love you so boundlessly that it’ll make you always choose me.
I don’t know when we’ll be together, but you’ll surely be worth all the waiting. At present, I’m happy with breathing in the fresh air of singlehood. I’m walking ahead in life, trying to improve myself each day so that when you decide to choose me, I’m not an option, but your ‘one-and-only.’ For now, I actually love this learning process, this growing up at my own pace, the vivacity of this age, and the freedom attached with it. I’m in no hurry. I love my life, and I’m learning to love myself. I hope the same for you, for loving yourself is a prerequisite for loving anyone else.
Hoping for happiness for you and me until we meet. I wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day. I know our love story will be one of the greatest this world has ever had, for I will always love you, just the way you’ll always love me.