Recently, I came across a word that changed my world! The last one week has made me so very weak that now my hands tremble and I run out of words! It was something that I would never forget. It was something that made me complete but broke me at the same time! But the ratio remains 20:80 because it broke me a lot more than it made me whole! It not only gave me courage but also the strength to pour down my feelings. The topic was so very irritating that most of the time, I raised my hands. But then, an urge, internal energy forced me to explore the world. A world which is very rare to critics, which is hardly seen by a professional, the one who remains calm and silently keeps working, sometimes making others and most of the time, breaking others.
I, too, had an encounter with that someone and frankly speaking, it shook my world, from top to bottom. I almost lost everything. The fun, the thoughts, the feelings, the fear, the peer, the support, the love, and most importantly, the peace from the inner world. Meanwhile, I made many critics who kept their promises by criticizing my inner soul that I finally decided to end this chain and answer them and tell them, “that yes, I can live without this world and the masked man residing in this bullshit”! To all those, who knowingly or unknowingly became a part of this article, I beg a pardon! Please forgive me; because this is the only change I am giving you, the coming verdict will be mine, and you will have to pay for it!
What it actually takes for you to be a part of a change? For me, a lifetime! Yes, your entire life span, whatever you have gained till now, whatever you have in store for you, you lose everything! That is exactly what happened to me! It’s not a day’s job; it’s a second’s job. Everything goes with such a thud that you hardly get any time to tie the seat belt, and you end up landing in a situation where hardly anyone gets out of it! There have been victims who have ruined their life on their own, and I was the one who got registered on that list. I myself took admission in that race to have a sight which turned out to be a painful decision. The initial days were tough, as expected, but the end was the toughest.
They say that if you want the change, be the change. Well, is it that simple? I mean, wearing that change in you and behaving accordingly and that too without any suffering! Hats off to them, who succeeded in this without any hesitation and without going out of their comfort zone. But the pain is hardly seen by anyone. Forget about your well-wishers, and not even your close ones hold the mirror for you. And frankly speaking, this is the time when you need them when you badly expect a lot from your peers and dear ones, and at the end, what you get is their poor console that again lands you in a pathetic change! Being a very emotional person, I was strongly affected by this, and the whole situation was very traumatic for me!
This is the only thing I would not want to carry in my genes because the more it grows, the more pain the coming generation would have to bear. Besides all these, one thing to be very positive about is the experience you get in these tough times. Just keep yourself in that place and see how dreadful it can be, where people are thrashing you, not because you are a criminal, but because you are a part of “A Change.” Stupid. Totally stupid! I mean, it’s your life, your wish, and your opportunity to grow, to understand, and to realize people’s worth. Yes, this is the right time to do so! It is said that close ones are always there to help you in tough times. I do agree with it, but a change is the only period where the whole world respects you; except your near and dear ones! Think about it!
So to experience that, I took a step into it. It’s a bitter truth, which even I realized during my course of change. It hardly took me 5 seconds to decide, but the consequences are still seen in me. Is it a criminal offense to follow a change? If no, then why are we punished day in and day out? Even criminals are jailed for a particular time span, but our punishments have no end. We are bullied, targeted, and criticized every second, every minute, and every hour. Who says that you break; only when you lose someone? If that is your thinking, then come, join us and experience our black world, a world comprising of lanes full of pains and sarcasm. And year after year, vacation after vacation, it remains painfully obstinate. Oh, the empathy springing up for its bare-naked innocence, the empathy. And if you feel the same, it’s high time to come up and prove to the world that your existence does matter.
Now I feel that those happy days have departed and that entwined togetherness is slowly vanishing. It is leaving behind a trail of happiness that used to be one of my top priorities. Now I miss my indulgence in happy and cheerful times because long back, I switched off that moonlight. Time seems to have played long now, not only with my emotions but also with my feelings, that too strong enough to form a crack in my lane. Whatever I did to bring that posture back to its place, everything went in vain. That sudden has now become so insufferable that I pray to God to take away my soul.
The soul has turned hollow, and that hollow emptiness is dreadful to feel. This is not the way I dreamt for; it certainly is an intricate emotion to deal with. I can no longer hold this silence because day by day, it is turning infuriating. The distance seems unrealistic, a distance that I created on my own. It seems to have grown miles and seas. It was long back that I broke up with a rhyme and turned recluse! Are you blind to the things flowing out of the rhyme? The only question I wanted to ask you is that, are you actually blind to my tears? Or is it all because of the ego you generated meanwhile! If that is the case, let me tell you, “I DONT CARE!”
Yes, I don’t care at all! I am ready to die a hundred times to support the change that changed me a lot! This taught me a new way of living and showed me a new ray of hope! Because when I needed you the most, you were busy serving the world, not me! And now I wonder, who heal your wounds? How will you survive? To which I politely reply, “It’s just a matter of time.”
Time is the only medicine for me now, and you know what the best part is; whenever I manage to convince my mind, it gives me a sweet peck on my cheek, boosting my energy to another level! Actually, I don’t want this to end, and to all those critics standing out, there in the crowd, I want to say one thing, “beware”! Now it’s my turn, and I am going to rule you! I have made time, my companion, and your time is over now! Just wait and watch! I will take this change to another level, where people will love it and love me! I will keep my pace, walk straight, break all those barriers, and soon attain those milestones! Yes, I am sure of the road, I am walking in this darkness, and I am also very sure of the hand that I am holding! It’s none other than “A CHANGE…..!”
Originally posted 2015-10-27 17:31:50.