These are nuclear times. More and more couples today are opting for small families. They are easy to maintain, less hectic, and lighter on the pocket. Gone are the days when couples would have three or four or more than five children. Most of our parents haven’t known life otherwise. A house full of chaos, fights, and lots of love and care formed most of their childhood.
Nowadays, due to various reasons, like a demanding job, more focus on career and self-growth, financial restrictions, couples are opting out of having a party of children. Family planning has become a significant topic couples spend a lot of time contemplating. If you are someone who loves children and want to create a family of your own, then you might also be thinking about the drawbacks. Stress no further. Read on the top pros and cons of having 1 child:
Better Financial Support
If you are more than capable of feeding yourself and ten more families, then you don’t have anything to worry about. But if you are struggling in the financial department, then you should reconsider having more than one child. Sure, you don’t need to particularly in a rough state, but having one child gives you a lot of financial freedom.
The rising childcare costs, school tuitions, higher education costs like college and universities, medical costs can put a significant dent on your wallet. One of the best pros of having 1 child is that you can be assured that in the future if there is a sudden increase in the finances, you have a better chance of handling it.
More Time and Attention
One of the pros of having 1 child is more time and attention that you can provide for your child. I am not saying that if you have more than one child, then you won’t be able to attend to all of them, but it’s more about how much attention you can provide.
If you have one child, then you can focus on every single aspect of your child’s life to make sure all the needs and requirements are fulfilled. You will be able to spend more time with your child and hence understand and care for your child better.
Having more than one child divides your attention. If one of your children is going through a tough time, and you have to focus more on him/her, your other child’s needs might get neglected for the time being. To make sure you can always give your 100% mind and soul to your child at all times, opt for one child.
More Emotionally Strong and Independent
Having someone to always reach out to feels excellent. If you have more than one child, your child will always have that sibling to whom he/she can always ask for help, suggestions, or support. But not having someone to lean on will make your child much stronger emotionally.
I know this by personal experience that being able to cope with loneliness can become one of your biggest strengths that will help you through all aspects of your life. Being an only child, I have learned how to help myself in all situations and never fall weak when there is no one around to support me.
One of the pros of having 1 child is this, that self-help will become your child’s biggest strengths in life.
Less Chaos, More Peace
Okay, this might be very specific to some people, maybe only introverts, but I just can’t help but mention this huge pro of having 1 child. More children in the house mean you will have a party every single day, but how the party will turn out that you should leave totally on your horoscope for the day!
Even one child will create all sorts of mess, break things, make lots of noise, spill everything that can be dropped, get hurt. But multiply all of that with 2 or 3 or more times, and you know just how much chaos you have to deal with daily. But honestly, children are meant to be a little chaotic, and that’s the beauty of their innocence.
That is true, but not all of that can deal with that initial phases of their childhood. So it is always wiser to know what your limits are and how much you can handle so that it doesn’t become hard on the child later on.
So, if you are someone who likes less clutter, more organized, more peaceful and structured lifestyles, you can’t, I repeat CANNOT even consider having more than one child because you will reach nowhere near to any those things that you have imagined for your lifestyle. Maybe with two children, it is still manageable, but don’t dare tread into the trio territory. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
More Mature and Understanding
Again coming from very personal experience, growing up without any other children in the household, made me more comfortable around adults. I paid more attention to their conversations- the way they deal with specific topics, how they react to things, how they solve their issues, and how they communicate with each other.
My mother always talked with me about everything happening in the house, along with topics bordering around, taking care of the household, taxes, office work, family issues, almost everything appropriate for me to know. These are topics you wouldn’t expect any child to understand from a very early age, but since I had no siblings and always was around my parents a lot, I picked up on their ways, and that helped me mature much faster than my peers.
This, I believe, is one of the strongest pros of having 1 child. I got to understand human emotions better and earlier and knew how to interact with adults and make good conversation. Having more than 1 child does not mean your children won’t be mature enough, but it will take them longer since they will spend more time with their siblings and will behave according to only that age group.
Stronger and Tighter Bond
All the former pros of having 1 child can be summed up into this point. Spending more time, giving more attention, and just being present in a more holistic way is guaranteed to ensure a stronger parent-child bond.
I was extremely close to my parents while growing up, and I still am, and the relationship just keeps getting stronger. Since I had no one else to reach out except them, they are my pillars of support. Having more than 1 child won’t mean you won’t be able to be close to them but look at it this way: if you have a friend circle of 3 people, compared to just one, imagine how strong your bond will be with all the three of them and how it will be with just that one person. It’s three combined into one!
Your child will never feel neglected to less loved, and no feelings of jealousy or rejection can ever threaten to come into your child. You will have one little, secure, and super tight-knit happy family.
Though I have mentioned how being single has made me more self-sufficient, but it has also haunted me. There were times when I wanted to reach out to a friend, or someone who could be my confidante and didn’t find anyone. That is one of the biggest cons of having 1 child. You can join a parenting support group to learn more.
There will always be lonely times that will be hard to deal with. Parents, no matter how accepting, open-minded, and friendly, cannot fill the shoes of someone of your similar age group. There are bound to be issues that you just can’t bring up to them. Those are the loneliest times for your child.
For me, there were so many occasions where I felt I need an older brother or an older sister to share my problems, which could give me a bit of more knowledgeable advice. You cannot always be there for your child in every possible way. It’s just doesn’t happen. So if you want your child always to have someone to lean on during hard times, you may want to consider having more than one child.
Lack of a Second Chance
Though it is meant in a funny way that one tries to rectify the mistakes done on the first child through the second child, jokes come out of the bitterest truths, right? This is in no means to say that you can go easy on the first child just because you have the second one in line, but what I mean by this is that you can always do better the second time around.
We are human here, and there will be times when your hopes and expectations will start to burden on your child. A con of having 1 child is this burden of expectations. If you have more than 1 child, then you will know how to balance out your expectations and meet your child’s needs and capabilities if you have experienced raising one first.
Burden of Parents
This is one of the cons of having 1 child that I dread. Thinking about how much responsibilities and pressure I have to take on my lone shoulders when my parents grow old has already started to frighten me.
Your child will always be the only one to take care of you or your family decisions in your absence. This, particularly, becomes difficult when either you or your spouse falls sick. Having a sibling will give them that emotional, and sometimes, financial support to take care of you. And God forbid if any misfortune happens, they will have one another to turn to.
You know that one day your health will give way, and you will need to depend entirely on your children. So imagine how difficult it will be for your only child to take full responsibility in your old age. If he/she has a sibling to share the duty, it will become much easier on both them and you.
I have no siblings, and my cousins can only do so much. I wish I had a sibling with whom I could share the worries of my parents’ health and responsibilities. So to lessen the burden of the duty and fear from your child’s shoulder, think about the future and plan accordingly.
An Introvert In the Making
I have talked about ho self-sufficient and independent your child ends up becoming if he/she grows up alone. Well, the con of having 1 child is exactly that. Let me explain from my experience.
Since I have had no one to talk to most, except for myself, my parents, and the walls, I have somewhat become closed off. Not necessarily an introvert. I have friends, and I love bonding with them, but my ability to solve my problems has let people believe that I am self-centered and don’t like reaching out to people for help. That is true to some extent; I won’t deny.
When you have an only child, your child gets so used to being alone and trying to make up the lack of someone to talk, your child tends to build his/her little bubble and makes himself/herself comfortable there, as I did.
If you have a sibling, you can still be an introvert, but at least you will know how to reach out to people and make fruitful conversations with peers of your age. If you want your child to be more outgoing, a better talker, and more of an approachable person, give them the gift of siblings.
Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth
The saying goes right in so many situations. This con of having 1 child is the most overlooked aspect. Just like giving all your time and attention to just 1 child will help them feel more loved and cared for, it can completely spoil them if overdone.
If you have more than 1 child, your time will be divided between them, sure, but it will make them more capable of fending for themselves. Having just 1 child makes the parents try to give everything they can for that child, which results in the child getting whatever they want, whenever they want without having to fight for it. It can make them spoiled and not teach them the art of sharing and caring.
Having a sibling will teach them the beauty of compromise, sharing, adjustments. In the long run, they will become more selfless, compassionate, kind, and a generous person as a whole.
Children are God’s gifts. But handling them is your solo job. Whatever you choose to do, know your wants, capabilities, and your limits. Family planning is an absolute must since you can’t undo it once you have children. Then both you and your children will be left to handle the wrath of it. So make sure you are clear in what you want and then proceed with your decision.
This ends our article on the pros and cons of having 1 child. Do tell us what you think in the comments below.