Are parents always right about relationships?
The topic of parenthood and childhood are both wide and complicated. It is a very sensitive issue which every individual must pay attention to.
Many mystics, philosophers, and psychiatrists since olden days have told us many things about the analysis of perfect parenthood and how a child should be brought up. They have even taught us how to treat our parents in return.
But modern-day problems seem to be centered in bad childhood experiences or mistakes done in parenting. Do you often question yourself are my parents always right about relationships?
It might not just be the relationship with your partner if you are an adult but also with your friends or in younger days, your brother or sister even they themselves.
The most commonly talked about the problem is a huge group of parents thinks they are always right about relationships. They do not want to accept a second opinion.
But it is important to understand that you need to give your child space and freedom to actively use his intelligence and be independent in taking decisions. If you, being a parent takes all the decisions for themselves, you are not helping them but crippling them.
I want to highlight some key facts including the perks and drawbacks of receiving opinions from parents. If you are a parent struggling to master the early steps of parenthood or if you are this article might help you!
It will also help all those teenagers and adults who are not communicating properly with their parents and facing poor feedback about the ones they love. Time and again you will encounter your parents not being able to accept the one you love.
But before going into the relationship being seen from a romantic aspect I would point out something about the basic parent-child relationship.
1. Your parent does not own you
You are nothing but just a product of their genes, some part of its characteristics might be left in you but you are not to be tamed or parented while being old enough to take your own decisions. You do not need to find yourself questioning every time are my parents right about relationships?
The feeling of obsessive possessiveness will affect your mental health to a high extent and break you from inside taking away all your decisive powers and giving you more dangerous fears in return.
Your parents are supposed to be a support and act like a friend. Not someone bossing over you and making them accept their decisions for you. You never need to put a second thought to, are your parents right about relationships.
You can expect them to show you the correct ways and then just leave it to you, to decide for yourself.
2. Do not blame yourself
While questioning ourselves if our parents are always right about relationships, we end up blaming ourselves.
Since in many families going against the so-called right decisions taken by the parents is itself very offensive and rebellious so the parents try to make the child feel low about themselves.
This is a very toxic practice. If you are lacking the right communication and understanding with your parents then their attitude of always making you blame yourself will take a toll on your mental health.
You are not supposed to be surrounded by people who create a defense to save themselves and in return place the burden of blame on you.
These blame-games are often long-lasting and we do not break the chain planning to follow whatever they say. It makes us so insecure about our decisions we accept the false truth that our parents are always right about relationships.
We blame ourselves whenever something goes wrong. We just keep thinking,” Probably she was right, it is my fault that I did not listen to her”
But do not flatter yourself with such self-deprecating thoughts. You should break the chain.
3. Your parents must know the importance of respect
If parents are right about relationships that might be a secondary thought when they do not know the importance of respect.
If they always treat you like a kid and not give enough importance to your self-esteem it is not the right thing to do. So before you ask yourself if parents are always right about relationships, you need to see if they are not insulting you are passing derogatory remarks that might hurt your ego.
It can affect your mental health. It will equip you to think of yourself lowly and not make you respect yourself.
We do need to remember that we are offsprings of those humans who are behaving in a toxic, inhuman way we being their children, would just pick up the trait and be a victim of it in our future days.
4.Controlling attitude
Most of the time the kids who have controlling parents have got no chances to question if parents are always right about relationships.
According to a psychological survey if the parent always wants to control the child it is because of OCD disorder or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which makes them stick to their own ideas and beliefs and exercise it in an unscrupulous way on the child.
In the process of finding out if parents are always right about relationships when you discover they were never even willing to give you an option to test if their opinions are thorough or not it is ought to affect you.
5. The toxic trait: Codependency
This is one of the most dangerous traits a parent can possess. Codependency and caring for the child are completely different things.
The codependent parent will never think about the fact if they are always right about relationships.
They mostly play the victim in the relationship. They constantly make sure to make you feel like you owe something to them.
6. Trying to live their unfulfilled wishes through you
These parents mostly belong to the ambitious category. They will set goals for you in every aspect of life. Beginning from your career to your relationship.
They will mold you like the person they could not be but wanted to be. They will generally tend to pressurize you. This can be quite traumatizing. They will also ask you to prioritize your choice of a partner based on high ambitions.
But when you rethink if parents are right about relationships keep this in mind that all of these are materialistic pleasures which we can find anywhere. We do not look for this in the partner we choose. We do look for it at some point but just because our ambition-driven parents crunch it into us making emotions a second priority is never a good choice.
7.Burdening you with guilt
They will constantly make you feel responsible for all the burden and stress they are going through.
Generally, they will tend to put up a very dramatic explanation to affect you emotionally. Seeing your closest blood relation in pain you will keep on suffering from guilt-trips
Since they always try to look for an escape to apologize or face their own faults they will throw it upon you. They are usually the ones who are not listened to. So they end up being bad listeners and just talking about how you should compensate for making their life miserable.
This might make you feel like you are being treated as a liability and not their own child.
8. Complaining about other problems
When you question if they are right about relationships they will try to keep complaining about their problems.
Psychologically they can be referred to as narcissists who are self-obsessed and they will always make it all about themselves.
They make your problems look like nothing magnifying their issues. They mostly try to unload all the burden on your shoulders so that you can solve the problems.
They expect you to listen to all their rantings while they make yours feel like they are worthless.
When it comes to being right about relationships they will bring up their own relationship problems so that you fear to step into it.
9. Not supporting you really
To be right about relationships it is essential that your parents are supportive in real sense. Because if they are always demotivating you in your decisions and persuading you to believe whatever you think about your partner is wrong then it is definitely not being right about relationships.
It is an example of exercising authority and stubbornly sticking to their faith.
You should not rethink if they are right about relationships when it comes to clinging to obnoxious faith ideals. You can simply seek support in a different person who you are comfortable with.
10. Molding into different personalities
Handling your parents’ mood swings can be very problematic if they occur at frequent rates. Just like you should consider their highs and lows, they should respect your mental health too.
Switching to different personalities just to make you do something or convince you is not how parents are right about relationships.
It can be traumatic and draining if they are over-caring for you for a few seconds and leave you in a mess and guilt-trip a few seconds after.
Most of us being a victim of such attitude do not know how to behave and we constantly think about risking our joys and pleasures even if they are not right about relationships.
We mostly care for their appreciation. It can be a very toxic method of parenting because it involves manipulation to some extent
11. Always criticizing when it comes to choosing your own partner
Often, criticism of your behavior makes you think more about whether your parents are always right about relationships.
You never expect to get judged by your parents. We as kids should consider they are humans too. But just like we should listen to them and allow them to express their opinions we should be listened to.
If a guy reveals to his parents about his sexual orientation it often ends up in permanent damage to the relationship with your parents.
They should be able to accept all kinds of ideas and express their thoughts on it. They should not criticize it based on judgments and age-old practices.
12. Never letting you go unprotected
To show they are always right about relationships, they try to chain us up. They want to keep us under their supervision curbing our freedom.
They won’t let us enjoy the privileges and after-effects of our own decisions.
13. Not discussing your partner openly
They will never bring up the topic if they are right about relationships.
Openness is something they will avoid and either change the topic or not encourage your idea when expressed.
If you have noticed her asking you to discuss matters openly and then throwing tantrums about it then it just sabotaging your mental peace.
You should not think if they are right about relationships and maybe for some time not reveal to them everything.
You can slowly express judging the right time and moment.
14. Doubting your choices about your partner
They will keep telling you about your bad choices in men/women.
They never seem to like the other person or they will want to find out every single flaw and reanalyze it.
This can be tiring for you if you believe in them. You will keep on changing partners until you meet their satisfaction.
15.Intruding in your privacy with your partner
In lieu of trying to show they are right about relationships, many parents try to monitor all the activities of their children even when they are full-grown.
While they should respect their own space, they dig into their phones and follow their whereabouts. They also constantly question each step you make.
It can be irritating and painful to be invaded this way. It might make you feel when you are with your partner.
16. They challenge you to choose
They will put forth difficult choices where you need to choose between the two you must avoid these kinds of interactions.
However, having brushed upon every possible reason why they might not be right it is advised you follow it according to your own discretion.
Parents are humans too it is an alien concept to believe they will always be right in what they do and say. But you are always advised to break toxic chains or seek professional help.
The relationship between a child and a parent is the most cherished and precious one so wrong steps should not ruin it.
It is advised both parents and children go through rigorous counseling if they face serious problems.
Never estrange yourself thinking your parents are not trying, they just do not know themselves or the right ways to provide and nourish you in a loving atmosphere but they are always trying to give you their best
Let me know about your issues and how you are choosing to deal with them in the comments!
Last Updated on by Sathi