Marriages are an institution that is given massive respect even now. Marriages in India are of two types; arranged marriages and love marriages.
Arranged marriage, by definition, is getting married to a person you hardly know. While this screams stranger danger, in most cases, they work; keyword being most.
Arranged marriage is a type of marital union where the third person unites two unknown people. The groom and the bride are selected by parents, relatives, or by family members. These types of marriages were common until the 18th century.
In the early days, the bride and the groom saw each other only on their wedding day. Thus, this arranged marriage was also forced marriage for a few, and even earlier in India even child marriage was legal. But now child marriages are banned but yet sadly praticed in remote and rural parts of few regions.
1. Pros of an Arranged Marriage
These arranged marriages pros and cons are pretty common. But as elders decide on their life partner.
It is safe to say that the bride and the groom will get to have a safe and secure life as elders make good decisions and the best decisions for their children. I hereby tell you about 5 sensible pros and cons of arranged marriage.
1.1. Secure life
Parents are the matchmakers in India where arranged marriages are common. Parents always want their children to marry a person who is equally educated with good earnings and well settled in their lives.
It’s obvious that they choose a perfect match for their child who has all the above qualities. Thus, arranged marriage leads to having a beautiful secure life.
1.2. Close to culture
An arranged marriage occurs and is meant to marry a person who has the same nationality, religion, culture, and tradition, and also who has their mother tongue similar.
People are so specific in these things that they search for years to get a perfect match. Of course, it’s required to get a perfect match as both of them to spend their entire life with each other building their own new family.
Thus, arranged marriages will make the culture and traditions as close as possible and religious issues do not arise at all.
1.3. Family Connections Last Forever
The bride and the groom are fixed by their family. The two families will have a good relationship, and all the connections between the family and the newly married couple will last long without any misunderstandings.
Whereas in a love marriage it’s complicated because the bride’s family may or may not like the groom or vice versa. This creates major differences among their families.
1.4. Similar Values
As I said earlier, arranged marriages are decided by parents, as they are well experienced in their life, they will definitely find a good and compatible one who will have similar thoughts, passions, likes, and dislikes.
This will be an advantage where a similar way of living can create good bonding between two unknowns and love begins to blossom gradually among married people.
1.5. Worrying about Children’s Future is Diminished
Yes! This is one of the major pros of arranged marriage as Indians bother more about religion and culture. In this type of marriage, two people of similar nationality and religion marry.
This will not create any problem in deciding about their children’s religion, as both of them are of the same religion.
So, worrying about children’s future religion as in the case of inter-religious marriages, is completely diminished if your future spouse had other religious beliefs.
2. Cons of an Arranged Marriage
2.1. Lack of Understanding
Parents may find a person to have similar qualities. But every individual’s unique taste cannot be matched.
The groom or a bride will wish to have their own choice of life partner, but arranged marriages will suppress all those wishes and try to make two like poles to get attracted, which is practically impossible.
This will lead to a lack of understanding because of the marriage between two unknowns, who don’t even have any idea about each other’s personal tastes. This will gradually lead to arguments, unwanted discussions, and also fights.
2.2. No Choice of Separation
In India, parents marry their children at a very grand wedding hall, giving a huge amount of dowry to the groom and calling each and every relative, friend, and well-wisher to bless their child as it is a matter of pride and honor.
When all this goes on so well, there is no choice of separation among the married couple that are new at all, as they are married in front of many people and it is also a matter of their parent’s dignity and honor.
This is not only the situation where a couple cannot get separated.
In case, if the couple is least bothered about society and they want to get separated, their families will not support them as they are the ones who chose them to be together. This creates a situation where none of them is happy.
2.3. Lack of Trust
Lack of trust among each other as both of them don’t know each other well. When there is no trust, it automatically leads to unwanted arguments between each other.
2.4. The Dowry Conflict between Families
In India, dowry is the most common and significant disadvantage faced by arranged marriage. Elders decide about marriage and even about the give and take policy. I meant to say dowry.
Yes! Of course, it’s a give-and-takes policy where people exchange their daughter and money for a highly qualified, well-settled groom trusting that he’ll take care of her with the help of financial security.
This system creates conflict among both families when the bride’s families fail to reach the expectations set up by the groom’s family. This also spoils the husband-wife relationship.
2.5. Family Pressure and Forced Marriage
Arranged marriages are most likely to be marriage that is forced as children are forced to marry the person of their parent’s choice, as parents want their child to lead a good future life by neglecting their wishes and suppressing their desire to marry a person of their choice.
This gradually creates a marriage that is forced that will be of no use; because of this, neither the married ones are happy nor their families.
1. What Do the Girl and Boy Discuss when They Meet for An Arranged Marriage?
Before the meeting, you can obtain a good sense of the person by looking at their bio, common friends and extended relatives, and social networking platforms like Facebook.
You can learn about the suitors’ likes, dislikes, pals, interests, and passions by browsing through the same. And prepare your questions properly.
You should also consider the following:
- Whether you want to marry a housewife or a career lady.
- In terms of how you intend to extend your family unit, for example, if you enjoy having children,
- Whether you have a joint or a nuclear family, what attributes do they like in a future bride and whether the lady in question can adjust?
- I don’t think it makes sense to talk about previous relationships and virginity.
Discuss their life philosophy.
You should inquire about the attributes they seek in a future relationship.
2. What Is the Most Serious Flaw in Arranged Marriages?
Most boys come to meet a girl under the influence of their parents or because they are of a certain age.
Most Indian men are befuddled.
Especially those that earn a good living and are well-established in their careers. Sometimes I feel sorry for them, and other times I am disgusted by them. When they talk to a female who thinks for herself, they feel threatened.
3. Which Is Preferable: An Arranged or A Love Marriage?
The arranged marriage method is simply intended to put together two people who are definitely looking for a companion. And see if they can strike the spark without igniting the fire if you know what I mean.
In fact, the love marriage settings depicted in movies are far too unrealistic and nasty. They get too far into the game before committing. Many times, it makes people wonder if the other person is far too promiscuous for their liking. They can’t take a step back or go forward with their doubts.