Rukayya Zirapur is a marital counselor who helps people understand love and romantic relationships better. She is an award-winning relationship coach who people worldwide have recognized for her efforts in making relationships stronger. Although she had a troubled past, she overcame it by being a stronger version of herself.
She is also an author who is very passionate about reading and writing. In 2018, she published the book Love From Iraq, a love story about two security guards falling in love. Apart from that, she is a commendable Content Writer known for her psychology, relationships, and counseling blogs.
In her conversation with Icy Tales, Rukayya Zirapur spoke about relationship coaching, her journey as a relationship and marital counselor, and the reasons behind successful and failed relationships.
Q) What is relationship coaching?
Rukayya Zirapur – Relationship coaching refers to a teaching-learning process where the coach works with individuals and couples dealing with romantic relationships. It includes skills and techniques to direct people toward strength, growth, a better lifestyle, and a healthier connection. It helps some heal and to come out of the relationship. At the same time, assisting some in improving and lasting the bond.
Q) Why did you choose to pursue this relationship and personal coaching field?
Rukayya Zirapur – I have some connection with the word ‘Love.’ I don’t know what it is, but it makes me connected to it. And I have always had this aim in life to direct individuals toward a better path. So connecting my aim and love allowed me to work in an area where I deal with couples and individuals in relationships.
Over the last two years, I have helped improve many lives, and I wish to continue doing so as it enlightens me in a million ways.
Q) Can you tell us about the importance of having a good mindset and the power of manifestation?
Rukayya Zirapur – Mindset is everything! We all have heard it somewhere, and it is true. How we live our lives is a reflection of our mindsets. What we think, we live it in real.
When it comes to having a good mindset, it means to have a growth mindset where you are the one directing your thoughts and not your thoughts having control over your living. A growth mindset means that your thoughts are not stuck in one place. They are always becoming better and hence making you a better person.
It doesn’t stop you or manipulate you into living a life that would do you nothing. This mindset also comes with positive affirmations. When you affirm and claim a better life, you receive it. However, the manifestations do not work when you keep saying it to yourself. They work when you put your words into action and make them a reality.
Q) What possible reasons behind failed relationships in today’s world?
Rukayya Zirapur – Some reasons I feel ruin relationships are – Bad communication style – choice of words, tone, and language; lack of communication; avoiding and suppressing emotions, situations, and expectations; one is an extreme giver while another is an extreme taker; nobody wants to walk a few more steps to make it work if another has stopped making an effort; imbalances in emotional and physical intimacy.
Q) What are the possible reasons for successful relationships?
Rukayya Zirapur – Some of the possible reasons behind successful relationships in today’s world could be -knowing and understanding each other’s love language; talking in the language their partner understands; equal acknowledgments and appreciation; understanding each other’s happy and bad times and their reactions in those situations; maintaining individual roles; honesty and transparency.
Q) Tell us something about your journey and any particular incident/experience in your life that taught you something precious and you still hold to it.
Rukayya Zirapur – I have learned this one thing that I always cherish. When you learn to understand, know and love yourself – your relationships become a lot easier. You are able to love them better and be there for them just as you would be there for yourself. If you can’t love yourself enough, you can’t offer much to somebody else.
Q) What do you have to say about toxicity in relationships?
Rukayya Zirapur – Toxicity comes with time, perspectives, and too many expectations. Many relationships that I have witnessed are either facing or have faced extreme toxicity in their relationship. We need to improve the mindset society has created for all of us – otherwise, toxicity is never-ending.
Sometimes individuals do not know how to get out of it or ways to deal with it. And some, even after knowing it all, decide to continue because of society, family, and children.
Q) Tell us about a moment in your life which was more like a turning point for you
Rukayya Zirapur – I am not sure of a specific moment in my life as every moment has a place in my heart. I had a very weird childhood – nothing in terms of finance or background but in terms of surroundings. I felt neglected in almost all areas of my life. I didn’t even dare to lead my life the way I want. One of the reasons why I also early matured.
As I grew up and started understanding how society, their perspectives, and beliefs work, I began to work on myself. I wanted to understand ‘Me’ before anything else. That was the utmost motive of my life to be able to know who I am. My understanding of myself helped me understand others and everyone I deal with – which can be considered a turning point.
Q) Who becomes your strongest pillar of support during tough times?
Rukayya Zirapur- I won’t say it is one person that has supported me, but there are few people in my life who have played a certain role in certain areas of my life. If I have to be precise one is my father and the others are friends and family.
Rukayya Zirapur is very passionate about helping others get better in life. She strongly affirms that she can improve relationships in the right ways, thereby bringing happiness to people’s lives. Since she has been closely associated with dealing with love and relationships, she urges people to respect their partners and work towards a happier future.
Being an avid fan of writing, she believes that writing has always been an escape from this depressing world. She is a torch bearer of self-growth and impels people to comply with the idea of self-love. She feels that her journey has just begun and she has a long way to go for achieving more things in life.
Last Updated on by Himani Rawat
