Having a crush on someone is an experience that most people have at least once in their lives. Once you have a crush on someone, you start to look forward to seeing them every day and devise new ways to impress them.
If you are lucky, the intense feelings may be mutual, but most often, they are not. You need to start looking for ways to move if you feel your relationship with your crush is going nowhere, and you begin to have negative thoughts about yourself.
Being obsessed with a crush can negatively affect your life and make you less productive. There are a lot of reasons your crush might not return your feelings – They may already be taken, or they consider you more as a friend than a love interest.
It can be heartbreaking to keep trying to start a relationship with someone who’s not interested in you. Maybe it’s time to realize the truth and understand that there’s plenty of other fish in the sea.
Knowing When It’s Time to Move On
If you know when it’s time to shed your feelings for your crush, then it can help you to feel less heartbroken eventually.
You can be optimistic and keep holding on to someone in hopes of them returning your feelings, but when this is continued for too long without any success, it can affect your daily life in regards to your general well-being and increase stress. You can also start to look down on yourself and indulge in negative self-talk.
You need to prevent yourself from falling into this trap and take a step back when you decide your obsession is unhealthy for you.
Developing sentiments is a typical aspect of life for most people. Crushes are sometimes glorified in pop culture, making us feel incomplete without someone to cast our feelings onto. Everything, however, is harmful in excess, & crushes are no exception.
When you feel like the negative thoughts are outweighing the good thoughts regarding your feelings for your crush, it’s your cue to move on immediately
7 Ways to Get Over a Crush
1. Express Your Feelings to Someone You Trust
One of the best ways is to talk about your feelings with someone you trust. It can be your best friend, your loved ones, or even a mutual friend of your crush.
If you talk with someone regarding your crush and your feelings for them, they can help you to have more perspective on your emotions. Express your feelings may be to your family members or best friends and have a good cry if needed.
If you feel you can’t express your feelings to someone else, then you can write your thoughts down in a diary too.
You can discuss the reasons you like your new crush, how they affect your daily actions and your overall personality in general. If you try to bottle up your feelings, the pain will only get worse and you will end up looking for the same person in everyone else.
Talking with someone also helps you to determine how secure your opinions are and if your crush is an ideal match for you. Expressing your regrets and discussing them with someone can also make you feel more connected with the person you’re talking to.
2. Accept Your Pain
If you are not able to get together with your crush, it is reasonable to experience mental pain and loss, similar to when you are rejected or go through a break-up.
There’s no denying the fact that seeing your crush with someone else or not paying attention to you hurts. According to one research, mental and physical pain activate similar regions in the brain.
Accepting your pain can help you to learn about your true self. Resisting your pain and keeping it repressed never helps.
You need to acknowledge the stress and pain you’ve inflicted on yourself and start making the required changes to get your life moving forward. It is not an easy process, but you’ve got to start somewhere.
3. Make Time for Yourself and Your Mental Health
You need to understand that not being able to get together with your crush is not the end of the world as you know it. Make time for yourself before you develop feelings for someone new. You need to try and make yourself feel special to make up for your bruised ego.
Once you get over your crush, you get the time to focus on yourself again, and efficiently using this newfound time is one of the best ways to get over a crush. Focusing on yourself helps you come out as a better person once you successfully move on.
Utilize this free time to take up that new hobby you always wanted to or maybe try and get into a workout routine or just go ahead and have a fancy meal. This is the best time to try to learn more about yourself and change your perspective. Generally speaking, you need to make yourself feel good and, in turn, feel better in the long run.
4. Learn Your Lesson
Moving on from a crush can help you to learn a valuable lesson in life. You can understand your feelings and mindset in a better way once you move on from your crush.
You gain a deeper insight into relationships and stop being mentally occupied with them once you realize it was just not meant to be, and you’ll find someone better and more compatible shortly. Understanding this is also one of the ways to getting over a crush.
Moving on from your crush can also help you to get into a lasting relationship with someone who values your feelings and personality. You see, the time wasted in trying to make your crush return your emotions and avoid making the same mistakes again in a new relationship.
Now that you’re feeling more like yourself, consider what attributes your former crush has that you’d like to discover in a new one. Did they have a great sense of humor? A lethal grin?
Did you both enjoy the same music? What did you dislike about this individual? You don’t have to jump directly into a new romantic relationship, but it’s useful to know what you’re into — or what you’re not — for the next time you have feelings.
Recognize that you are not alone. You’re not the first person to suffer unrequited love, and you won’t be the last, but it might feel as if no one knows how you feel while you’re going through heartbreak.
5. Avoid Contact with Your Crush
Avoiding contact with your crush can be hard if they are a co-worker or classmate. It can be tempting to think that spending more time with your crush can increase their feelings for you and help you to get together.
You need to be realistic and avoid letting your emotions get the best of you. Try to avoid checking your crush’s social media accounts, that will only lead you into developing feelings for your crush.
Ask your friends not to mention your crush to you every other second. Keep your distance from them, but don’t overdo it, especially if you are friends with your crush as it will just make things awkward for both of you.
You also need to avoid them on social media platforms. Also, you should try to prevent messaging or calling them unless it’s indispensable.
It can be especially hard to avoid them on social media as the chances are that you’ll see them every day on there while mindlessly scrolling through.
Unfollowing or even blocking your crush’s social media can help you to forget them faster, and it is one of the effective ways to get over a crush.
6. Try to Love Yourself A Little More
When you’re not able to get together with your crush, eventually, you start to have negative feelings about yourself. You feel like you’re not enough and start doubting yourself.
You need to understand that these thoughts are not realistic and that having a crush is only temporary. Your crush can have a lot of other reasons to not get together with you other than you not being ‘good enough‘ for them.
Take a few weeks off, and talk to yourself about all your feelings. Take care of your mental health the same way you would if it were someone close to you, and have a healthy relationship with yourself. Try talking to a family member you can confide in if you feel low. Avoid developing any unrequited feelings towards people.
You just need enough time to find the right and only person. When you stop obsessing over your crush, you end up with a lot of time on your hands.
Use this time to know more about yourself, discover new hobbies, and list out your strengths and weaknesses. Once you do this, you’ll gain back your confidence and start to believe in yourself, which in turn will help you to move on from your crush. You can also try online therapy if you feel you can’t handle it all by yourself.
7. Take Your Time to Stand Tall Again
You must have heard the phrase – ‘Time heals everything.’ There’s a lot of truth in this because it is almost certain that as time passes and you keep distancing yourself from your crush, your feelings will eventually fade away. Remember that you’ll meet new people as you move on with your life, and someday you’ll meet a person worthy of your attention.
It is okay to feel sad and the grieving process becomes much easier if you accept your emotions and let them out, trust us on this, thinking of your crush forever and to feel stuck is not going to help the healing process at all and will only make you feel worse.
Instead try developing healthy relationships, not only romantic relationships and romantic feelings but getting new friends, or spending time with your old buddies might also make you feel amazing.
You also need to keep in mind that feelings involving a crush are hard to get over. You need to take your time and avoid rushing your feelings. Continually telling yourself to get over your crush most often doesn’t help too much to get over them.
It is also possible that once you move on from your crush, you finally begin to notice someone interested in you. Taking the time, you need to get your feelings together and not rush is one of the painless ways to getting over a crush.
The bottom line is, if you are struggling with a crush, then you should know that most people have been through this experience at least once in their lives.
A crush can occupy your mind for quite a while, but you need to remember that this is not permanent. You’ll always find someone better, even if you feel you won’t.
The 7 ways, as mentioned above, to move on from a crush can help you to get over them faster. If you are not able to get together with your crush, be patient, and know that it is not the end of the world. Once you move on, you always come out more potent from this experience.
-Edited by Steffy Michael/30/6/22
Originally posted 2020-06-10 19:29:42.
Hi! I need alot of help here! I’ve known my crush for months now, and we were like good friends. It was mostly platonic, because he has a girlfriend. But recently, my crush has been flirting with me more than lately, and keeps on saying he misses me so much, and it seems like he really likes me. But I really don’t think it’s the right thing to do considering he has a girlfriend, so I tried limiting my exposure. But so far, so bad! He always wants to sit near me, and initates most of our conversations. I also tried ignoring him, but it didn’t work! He seemed hurt, and I had to idea what I was saying to him! It is all so confusing, and I just want to move on.Please help!