Your own love language describes the way that you most natural feel and express love to your partner and family members. But did you know that every person has their own specific love language?
The concept of love languages was made popular by Gary Chapman in his book The 5 Love Languages. It may come as no surprise that when people feel loved, they are more likely to build lasting relationships with those who show them love in the ways they prefer to receive it.
This blog focuses on 5 love languages in relationships.
Love is patience. Love is kind. Oftentimes when a romantic relationship hits a rough patch, it’s because couples stop speaking each other’s love language—they are sending and receiving different messages that don’t connect with their partner.
Some published research support the validity of love languages, indicating that they can improve relationship satisfaction and lifespan.
When it comes to relationship satisfaction, research suggests that liking yourself is even more crucial than our love language. People develop and grow with time, and our preferred method of receiving love now may not be our preferred method tomorrow. Every day, we must remain interested and learn about our partners.
Understanding your own love language and that of your significant other can help you avoid (or at least minimize) most relationship woes. Here are five languages of love to get you started:
What Are the Five Love Languages in Relationships
Five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. It’s important to learn what your primary love language is so that you can better understand those around you.
The matched couples should have the best relationship quality, according to the love language theory. However, the researchers discovered no distinction in pair types. In other words, the data give little evidence for the notion that love languages matter in partnerships.
Why Are Relationships Important? Find a therapist to help you build your connections. Though most research contradicts the Love Language theory, a 2020 study found limited support (Hughes & Camden, 2020). In a survey of over a thousand individuals in the United States, more than half said their spouse utilized their favorite love language successfully.
All of us experience love in different ways. There are basically five different ways we express love and experience love. These languages are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time; Receiving Gifts; Acts of Service, and Physical Touch/Physical Presence.
The first two (Words of Affirmation and Quality Time) are considered Primary Love Languages, which means they generally come most naturally to us. However, it is possible for any person to learn how to speak another’s Primary Love Language if we desire to do so.
It takes effort, but it can be done if we want to. We can help others feel loved by learning their love language and then speaking it regularly to them.
Everyone has a love tank, just like a gas tank. Once our tanks are complete, we begin to feel good about ourselves; when they run empty, our self-worth decreases.
Making sure someone else’s tank is full on a regular basis will make both parties feel fulfilled and happy! For example, my husband’s first love language is Physical Touch, while mine is Words of Affirmation.
His first need isn’t physical touch but affirming words, so he prefers writing notes to me rather than getting physical affection from me because his tank gets filled more quickly with verbal affirmations than physical contact.
By knowing each other’s primary languages, we can work together as a team to meet one another needs. If you’re not using these techniques with your significant other, I highly recommend trying them out today! You may see surprising results very quickly! These love languages in relationships are excessively important to nurture during the relationship.
1. Positive Words of Affirmation
Another one of the five love languages in a relationship is speaking words of affirmation. If your love language is receiving gifts, or gift giving it means you feel most loved when your partner gives you material items. Even if he or she does not have a knack for picking out presents, little thoughtful things can add up to a lot of love over time.
And remember: Even if receiving gifts isn’t exactly one of your primary love languages, it doesn’t mean that you don’t enjoy gifts—you might just not like them as much as other forms of affirmation.
So while you may be happy with some concert tickets, a full-length mirror (to check yourself out) is less likely to do it for you.
Having said that, here are a few tips on giving gifts: Buying them clothes? Visit her favorite store so you know her size and style.
Want to go super-creative?
Find out what kind of souvenirs she likes and get something related to those places (make sure they’re new). Or surprise her with something sentimental that has meaning behind it.
For example, maybe you got a gift once from someone else; now it’s time to pay it forward!
A first love necklace or bracelet seems really personal and endearing—and affordable! Even if there’s no reason behind why you bought something, these small tokens of affection will build on their own over time, even if they’re small investments at first glance!
2. Quality Time With Each Other
Another important love language in relationships is spending quality time together. People who speak quality time love to spend their time with those they care about. Give your loved ones a few uninterrupted hours of your undivided attention, and you’ll make them feel cherished.
The best way to express love and quality time is by spending time just with your partner(s). That can mean many things, but it should always be focused on both people equally.
It could mean sharing an activity together or dedicating some alone time where only that person is present in your thoughts.
Quality time isn’t an attempt at being thoughtful; it’s being thoughtful over an extended period of time and making sure that, for some portion of that period, neither party feels like they are getting short shrift compared to anyone else involved.
Rosalind Sedacca How to Speak Your Partner’s Love Language: You may have heard about the book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
Although it was originally released in 1995, millions have bought his book since then because there has been a lot of truth about relationships revealed through it. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend checking out reviews and purchasing a copy!
But even if you already know what love language is, do you know what your partner’s love language is?
3. Receiving Gifts
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the FIve Love Languages, another love language in relationships is receiving gifts. This means that when you give your partner a present, they feel cared for and appreciated.
Do you prefer to receive gifts rather than say I love you or be cuddled? Then Chapman suggests you learn what your partner’s love language is—in order to make them feel loved through your actions.
When it comes to showing affection and devotion, does saying I love you leave something missing from the conversation? A little bit of adoration goes a long way toward keeping relationships healthy and happy—and understanding how partners express love and their feelings can help those efforts along dramatically.
Whether it’s planning an amazing date night or surprising your special someone with flowers, giving your partner some tangible evidence of your affection will surely go over well. The important love languages in relationships are mentioned in this post.
Plus, if anyone deserves a token of appreciation (just because), isn’t it the person who has put up with all of our annoying idiosyncrasies for so many years? If you’re looking for some awesome ways to show someone you care about, then take a look at these Unique Gift Ideas For Your Boyfriend.
4. Acts of Service
Another love language is the Act Of Love. Do you think taking out the trash is an act of love? If so, you and your partner are on opposite ends of a very important spectrum: your love languages. One common love language is Acts of Service—and we all use it to one degree or another.
Whether it’s cooking dinner, washing dishes, doing laundry, or going grocery shopping, many people show their love through actions rather than gifts.
But why do some of us think taking out the trash is an act of affection while others view it as a necessary evil? It all comes down to what kind of person you are and how you express (or don’t express) your feelings for someone else.
Sure, plenty of guys say I love you when they leave for work or when they come home from work. But saying those three little words isn’t going to cut it if your partner’s primary love language in relationships are Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch.
So, how can you tell which category your lover falls into? There’s no right way to go about figuring out each other’s love languages; however, there are several things you can do (or ask!) that may help reveal each other’s primary language. These love languages are extremely important to keep the relationship afloat.
5. Physical Touch
The first love language is physical touch. This person needs lots of hugs, pats on the back, and long hand-holding sessions. Don’t let them get bored; make sure you have lots of playful ways to touch each other regularly. Find out what kinds of touches they like best: a squeeze of your hand, a peck on their lips or cheek, a loving caress down their arm?
Do it often enough that they are always reminded how much you care about them. If you don’t like physical contact with other people (or just aren’t comfortable with it), remember that even though it might not be your primary love language, it can still help if you act more loving toward those who speak it.
It’s not possible for someone to speak more than one love language—if he doesn’t understand gifts, then he probably won’t understand acts of service. But it’s certainly possible for someone to feel loved by two or three languages.
Because there is no hierarchy among these five languages, we recommend giving all five equal time whenever possible. A husband who loves words of affirmation should hear from his wife frequently but so should she from him!
Dating in All Kinds of Love Language
It’s important to know what love language you and your partner speak so that you can deliver it properly.
Once you figure out your primary love language, use it to help deliver not only words of affirmation but also gifts and thoughtful gestures. These love languages in relationships are excessively important to sustain the relationships.
More than likely, your partner has a different primary love language than you. So while words of affirmation might be your first love language, acts of service could be his or hers. This can make matters tricky if either person doesn’t know their partner’s primary love language and goes wrong trying to give them what they think is best. One should be aware of the these love languages in relationships.
If you suspect you may have missed your partner’s love language, here are a few questions to ask yourself: Have I made an effort at all with physical touch? Love language in relationships are exceedingly important to keep in mind about the pace of the relationship.
Do I go out of my way for nice dinners or new outfits? Am I comfortable giving compliments? If any of these seem off, take some time to consider why and read through a guide on finding your significant other’s true five love languages.
Then sit down together and tell each other how you feel. Knowing your love languages can bring lots of joy into relationships by encouraging good behavior—and lessening unnecessary stress when couples don’t put in enough effort or try to express themselves in ways that aren’t as meaningful to their partners.
There’s no sense in forcing something when acts of service clearly make her happiest; once she knows how her man feels about praise, she’ll start delivering it regularly.
-Edited by Steffy Michael|26/6/22
