Understanding Stink in Relationships

Sarah Fernandes
20 Min Read

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‘What does stink mean in a relationship?’ It’s so ironic that a word normally associated with something that has a foul smell would make a presence in a relationship. But, as confusing and weird as it sounds, it is true. Stink is not just a word for a bad odor; it is also a nickname for someone you are in a romantic relationship with.

In this article, we have discussed the relationship between body odor and relationship satisfaction. As surprising, and to an extent, disgusting as this sounds, it is true!

1) What Does Stink Mean in General?

Before getting to what does stink mean in a relationship, Let’s talk a bit about what it means in general.

There’s an Old English word, ‘stincan’; this means ‘exhaling, smelling, or emitting a fragrance’. Another term that means ‘to smell good’ is ‘swote stincan’. ‘Stenc’ means ‘odor or fragrance’.  This word comes from of this word is from ‘stanc’.  Another phrase used is ‘ to stink to high heaven,’ is also used.

The Collins Dictionary defines stink as ‘a bad smell’ or ‘an extremely unpleasant smell’. The word can be used as a noun, an adjective, or a verb, depending on the context.

1) As a verb: Your breath stinks!/Your room stank the other day!

2) As a noun: The stink of the room was overwhelming!

3) As an adjective: The bathroom was stinking.

The word ‘stink’ means the same thing in both the English specimens used, British and American. Some synonyms for the word are pong, reek, suck, blow, and fishy.

Stink can also mean:

  1. a great deal of trouble
  2. to be bad or abhorrent
  3. to have a bad reputation
  4. to be of poor quality
  5. to appear to have a large amount of money
  6. a strong public reaction, like an outrage
  7. to be disgustingly inferior
  8. an unpleasant scandal

2) What Does Stink Mean in Slang?

Urban Dictionary is actually a pretty reliable space to find out the meaning of words in slang language. According to the Urban Dictionary, ‘stink’ is a term used for close friends.

For example, There’s my stink, awesome as always!

Understanding what stink means in slang is a great way to understand what stink means in a relationship.

3) What Does Stink Mean in a Relationship?

what does stink mean in a relationship
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Stink is often always associated with a negative connotation, so finding the romantic in it is quite tough. But, the truth of the matter is that ‘stink’ is a nickname used in relationships, not as popular as the other ones though.

‘Stink’ is normally a word that signifies ‘babe’, ‘love’, or ‘baby’ in a relationship. Why is a word that stands for body odor used to signify love? This is dealt with later in the article.

But, if your partner calls you to stink, they don’t mean they aren’t a decent human being; they may just be calling you a cute nickname you aren’t aware of.

3.1.) How to React?

If you don’t know how to respond if your partner calls you ‘stink’, try out these options:

3.1.1) Flirt back.

If you know they’re being cute about it and are trying to flirt, flirt back with a cute nickname of yours, too.

3.1.2) Ask them What they Mean

You can always ask your partner what they mean if you are unsure. By doing this, you’ll understand if they are referring to you with a nickname or if you actually smell bad.

3.2) Other Nicknames You Could Use

If ‘stink’ isn’t a term that you find romantic or loving, which is fairly understandable, here are some other nicknames you could use for your partners.

  1. Babe: ‘Why don’t you come home for dinner, babe?’
  2. Baby: ‘When will you be free, baby?’
  3. Darling: ‘Where should we go today, darling?
  4. A shortened version of their name: If their name is Rosalie, go with ‘Rose’ or ‘Rosie’.
  5. Love: ‘What’s the matter, love?’
  6. Hot stuff: Normally used as a fun flirtation. ‘What’s up, hot stuff?’
  7. Honey: ‘When will you be home, honey?’
  8. Sunshine: ‘Good morning, sunshine.’
  9. Dear: ‘Will you be home for lunch, dear?’
  10. Boo: A very common word used by Gen-Z. ‘You’re my main boo!’
  11. Bae: Again, a common phrase used by Gen-Zs. ‘She’s my bae!’
  12. Sweetheart: A sweet nickname used at end of romantic sentences.
  13. Sweetie: Another sweet nickname for a romantic partner
  14. Sugar: For a partner as sweet as sugar!

4) Body Odor and Romantic Relationships

Does smell have anything to do with love in romantic couples? Research has shown that it does.

4.1) How Do the Senses Determine Our Romantic Relationship?

The role the brain plays in falling in love is interesting and integrative. It involved parts of the brain, pumping from the heart, and all the five senses. Knowing the role the other senses play in love and romantic relationships can help you explore how important your brain is in maintaining relationships and boosting relationship satisfaction.

4.1.1) Sight

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We can tell that a person is smiling widely because of the crinkling of their eyes, we know if someone is worried by the furrowing of their eyebrow, and we know that pupils dilate to allow us to see clearly.

Studies have shown that eye contact can indicate your interest in someone the first time you meet them, even before you start talking to them. It also increases feelings of love, making you feel more connected and attracted to your mate.

4.1.2) Taste

It’s been found that people who eat sweet candies prior to meeting their partner are more likely to be attracted to them. Sweet and salty flavors elicit pleasure.

4.1.3) Touch

Touch can act as a persuasive factor; it has been shown that when a man touches a woman’s arm slightly to ask her to dance, she is more likely to say yes. It has also been found that the response to create empathy and connection is developed by touching. Regions of the brain also react to touch by reducing stress.

Touching a romantic partner can be more pleasurable, and hugging your partner can maintain your blood pressure and heart rate.

4.1.4) Sound 

Men’s voices get lowered while talking to their loved ones. Music can help grab your attention, cover disturbing noises, and soothe your mood in general. One thing that helps couples get through difficult times is finding a common song they both love, or a common phrase that means a lot to them.

This could’ve been heard by the boyfriend on their first date, or said by the other partner on the second; it helps build connection and warmth between the partners.

The last sense, smell, will be discussed in detail now.

4.2) Love Stinks

Women rate liking someone’s smell is the most important physical factor for sexual desire. Men report that smell is as important as physical appearance; this shows that someone’s body odor plays a big role in the first few months of a relationship.

4.1.1) Body Odour and Emotionality

It has also been found that humans use BO to detect emotionality and respond in an efficient manner. This helps guide relationship-maintaining behavior.

Anecdotal accounts have suggested that women find their partner’s body odor disgusting during a relationship breakdown. So, if someone has a slight hint of a strong offensive smell, that can lessen sexual desire and sexual attraction.

Other than being an evolutionary sense, smell is also a social sense that is linked to memory and emotions and helps us interact with others by understanding if we should stay far or get closer. Smells can trigger thoughts very quickly, and they can do the same with emotions.

4.1.2) Pheromones

Animals and humans secrete pheromones. These are chemicals that influence others to interact with animals or people in their surroundings. They shape the social and sexual life you will live by attracting compatible mates.

People can smell emotional and social nuances. People also have a tendency to label an emotion with an odor. ‘Homely smelling ginger tea’, ‘fresh smelling daisies’ – it is our tendency to consciously label the objects our senses make use of.

The human version of these pheromones is called leukocyte antigen, or HLA. It is linked to olfactory receptors and is important in understanding how we smell others.

It influences how you recognize cells as being a part of yourself or of an invader. But, isolating body odor as being the main reason for love is a difficult and not empirically supported task.

4.3) How to Tell Your Partner That They Stink?

Just because research shows that you may be attracted to your partner’s smell, it doesn’t mean it will always be a good smell or that you have to tolerate it. Sometimes, people smell bad.

It’s a natural process; they may sweat more, or not be able to shower for a while. And correcting someone on their hygiene is a sensitive topic, especially if you are in love with them.

4.3.1) Research

what does stink mean in a relationship
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If you know why your partner’s breath or body odor is bad, you can approach them with some more awareness and sensitivity. Depression can cause helplessness; this could take away from their ability to look after their hygiene.

Certain health conditions and mental illnesses can take aware from their time and energy to take care of their physical appearance. If you know that there are reasons for the smell, then you can approach them with more honesty and care.

4.3.2) Stick to The Point

Mention the problem as if it has started recently, even if you’ve noticed it from the early stages of the relationship. If you tell your partner that they smell bad generally, they will feel really insecure, and you could be hurting their feelings.

Telling them that it is a recent issue will make them feel like you still respect them, and don’t see them inferiorly.

4.3.3) You Could Give Them Some Hints

You could always try to reinforce good behavior. Couples at times enjoy taking baths together; that’s something you could try. You can also use bath bombs to drop a slight hint about the smells you like.

You can also try saying positive statements like, ‘I love how clean you smell’. The chances of them understanding what you’re hinting at are less, but at least it’ll be worth the try.

4.3.4) What if it Doesn’t Go the Way You Planned?

If your partner doesn’t seem to be comfortable talking about this issue, or if they are comfortable with the way they are, that’s okay. You can’t keep forcing them to change for your comfort; there may be an underlying reason for their odor that you don’t know about, and they aren’t comfortable talking about.

That is okay if you feel like you won’t be able to love them if they continue smelling a particular way, then maybe it’s time for you to do some introspection.

4.4) How to Smell Good for Your Partner?

what does stink mean in a relationship
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We come to the last part of this article: how can you smell good for your partner? Your partner’s smell is important, but so is yours! In order for your relationship to be one with good fun, sexual attraction, and good memories, putting effort into your hygiene is always a good thing.

4.4.1) Cleanliness

Staying clean is very important; your body sweats, and this creates an odor that may not be pleasant. You can try using a deodorant; this can help avoid any bad smells and help you smell fresh and good the whole day. Try to wash twice a day, especially if you’ve had a long day in the sun or have sweated a lot.

Spraying your hair comb before you use it can make your hair smell good throughout the day. Wearing socks can help reduce the bad stench. You can also use aromatic shoe sprays.

You can try spraying your dresser and closet, and even your clothes. Spraying your pillows and blankets can help you sleep better, and add a gentle smell to your body.

If you end up using too much perfume, try wiping off the excess. Make sure you let your perfume or cologne dry off well. Use mints and flossing to remove stench and bacteria. Mouthwash can also help give an extra burst of freshness.

4.4.2) Quality Products

Buying good quality products can help you smell good the whole day, even if you’re busy with work and meetings and aren’t able to leave your room. Try not to use scents that are not heard of before.

Use good quality bathing products. Use body oils that provide smoothness and nourishment.

4.4.3) Comfort

If you’re putting the effort to smell good for your partner, it’s best to know if they are comfortable with it. Ask your partner if the perfume or cologne you use is something that doesn’t bother them.

Make sure you use a scent you yourself like. Don’t overdo it; don’t use too much perfume, too many scented soaps, and a lot of lotion. Try to keep it light.

4.4.3) Using Products Carefully

what does stink mean in a relationship
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Remember not to rub the fragrance into your skin because the fragrance could cause your natural smell to reduce, and may hamper your natural oils.

Spray the perfume on your skin, this can ignite the fragrance by working on your skin. Use scented soaps or lotions. You can also mix lotion with a few drizzles of perfume and create your own DIY perfume lotion; this can help save money.

If you end up using too much perfume, try wiping off the excess. Make sure you let your perfume or cologne dry off well. Natural fabrics like cotton make scents last longer, while synthetic fabrics can dull the notes.

4.4.4) Diet

Changing your diet to a fruity one can also help you smell good.

Another important point to be discussed here is what to do if your partner tells you that they don’t like the way you smell.

4.5) How to React if Your Partner Tells You Smell?

Your partner might confront you if they think you smell bad. In such situations, do not take it personally. In any romantic relationship, there are certainly important factors, like trust, communication, consent, and hygiene is one of them.

If your partner’s smell offends you, there’s also a scenario in which your scent offends them. In case they tell you that they don’t like the way you smell, here are a few ways to deal with this.

4.5.1) Be Calm

As mentioned earlier, don’t take this feedback personally. This is just one thing they found upsetting about you, it doesn’t mean they want to change you wholly.

4.5.2) Ask them more Questions

‘Why do you think so?’, ‘Does it bother you a lot?’, ‘Do you want me to change something about my hygiene?’ ‘Do you have any ideas on how I can change this about myself?’,

‘Does this change how you perceive me?’ – finding the answer to questions like these may help you gain some insight about how much this matter disturbs them. Another thing to know is if they see you differently because of this one thing.

4.5.3) Be open to Feedback

This may not be a concern you’ve faced before. It’s possible that this is the first time someone is confronting you about this issue, and you may not know how to react. The best thing to do here would be to be open to whatever your partner has to say, and not to be critical or offended by it.

In Conclusion

No one considers smells to be an important factor in a relationship, but surprisingly, they are.

Knowing now what does stink mean in a relationship and how it can impact your relationship with your loved one can help you be more careful about your hygiene and avoid having a foul smell attached to your body odor.

Love Stinks: The Smell of Attraction

Last Updated on by NamitaSoren

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I am 20 years old, I reside in Mumbai, India and am currently pursuing my MSc in Counseling Psychology. I love to read and write. I have published my own book and have been published in various anthologies. My pronouns are she/her.