Raising a child with the right values and generating self-sufficiency and self-confidence in them, is a challenging task. Many parenting styles help parents navigate through these challenges and enable the holistic development of the child. What is Montessori parenting? Montessori parenting is a parenting style that involves exploration, self-control, and learning through mistakes, all while being within certain limits.
The foundational years of a child’s development should be used to inculcate a sense of responsibility and awareness in them, while also providing them with adequate love and nurturing. Montessori parenting helps to do just that. To know about this style of parenting, we need to look briefly into its origin.
Image by Kampus production from pexels copyright
1. What is Montessori Parenting: The Montessori Philosophy
The Montessori style of education and parenting is based on the philosophy of Dr. Maria Montessori. She was an Italian physician and educator, and her works have received immense international acclaim.
Montessori conducted her research on children that were admitted to her Children’s house. She observed the children and changed and prepared their environment accordingly. Montessori put a lot of emphasis on encouraging a child’s natural interests. For her, independence was the aim of education. She reformed and remodified the kids’ environment to make learning and working more accessible. This helped them establish their autonomy.
Montessori’s observational principles received great international attention. To this day, Montessori principles are widely used all over the globe. It is applied in education, as well as incorporated in the home environment.
2. Objectives of Montessori Style Parenting
The Montessori parenting method includes respecting the child, encouraging them to follow their natural fields of interest, and allowing them the choice of learning from their mistakes. Montessori parenting creates a safe space for the child to explore and flourish, and not be silenced and suffocated.
All children should be raised in a way that prepares them for the world outside. Children cannot magically mature and become capable once they turn eighteen. Their adult personality is an amalgamation of all the teachings that they have received throughout their life, especially during their formative childhood years.
Being a grown-up in this fast-paced world is difficult in itself. Montessori parenting aims to equip young children with an apparatus that makes navigating this world a tad bit easier. Montessori parenting isn’t about letting a child do whatever they wish to do. Their instincts will be prioritized, and it will be done well within the boundaries set by the parents. Here are some tenets of Montessori parenting, and ways to implement them.
2.1. Setting Boundaries and Discipline
In the case of traditional parenting, the concept of disciplining may mean punishments that instill fear in a child. However, disciplining does not include rebuking, yelling, or thrashing. Disciplining is the key to building self-control in a child and teaching them to take responsibility for their actions.
On the contrary, rewarding is also an unfit method of disciplining according to Maria Montessori’s philosophy. Her principles suggest that self-discipline or intrinsic discipline must originate from the child’s sense of responsibility. The reward is in the action itself.
A constant supply of prizes might build an unhealthy expectation in the future. The child will learn, and work sincerely powered by their intrinsic desire for learning. Learning is not fueled by material or verbal rewards.
Image by Eleonoraos from Depositphotos Copyright 2018
2.2. Effective Praise
Effective praise is a well-heard concept, used profusely in the Montessori program. The term ‘good job’ is a praise that is often considered detrimental, if not just heavily ineffective.
These ineffective praises may in the future create a perpetual need for praise in your child, which, if not met, will lower their self-worth exponentially. Encouragements should be thoughtful and effort-based, and not achievement based. Praise their process, show interest in the methods they used, and teach them to appreciate their hard work.
Among children, especially toddlers, dropping things or making a mess are common occurrences. Instead of losing your temper at them, or instantly refilling the glass, you can take the Montessori approach. If your child has dropped their glass of milk intentionally, help them realize that this action will lead to them not having milk to drink anymore.
This will teach them that food is not unlimited, and it is not to be wasted. You could ask for an apology, and once that is done, you could ask them to clean it up with you. In this way, they will take responsibility for their actions. They will realize that the natural consequence of their action was a messy floor and the need to clean it up. In the process, they will inculcate the habit of cleanliness in them.
2.3. Mutual Respect
In traditional parenting, the parents’ wish is often considered all-pervasive. This has been normalized for many years, but it can prove to be very harmful. A significant tenet of Montessori parenting is mutual respect. The parent should respect their child as a person. Children, no matter how young, should be valued for who they are.
Acknowledge your child as an individual. This results in better learning and understanding in a child. Be a good listener. Pay attention to what they have to say, this will ensure that a child knows that their words are valued. Make them a part of regular conversations and do not downplay them. You should never be dismissive of their presence and talk without acknowledging them.
Image by EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA from Pexels Copyright 2020
2.4. Freedom But Within Limits
A child mandatorily needs freedom to grow and thrive. Montessori parenting is all about the freedom to explore. A child needs to feel free to keep intact the desire to learn.
However, this does not mean putting your child in danger by abolishing restrictions. Freedom is to be enjoyed within its limits, consistent ones. This ensures that the child feels secure and has access to safe opportunities for learning.
Montessori parenting isn’t about letting a child do whatever they wish to do. Their instincts will be prioritized, and it will be done well within the boundaries set by the parents.
2.5. Let Your Child Learn at Own Pace
As a parent, you always need to remember that your focus should always be on your child’s needs and interests, not on your own. A child will learn at their speed, and the learning curve will never be linear. There should be no interference on the parent’s part, learning should be free and obstacle free.
2.6. Sensitive Periods
In child development, sensitive periods are periods where psychological development increases drastically. Children become more inquisitive and show increased interest in certain specific areas.
For example, for some time, your child may show interest in languages, or perhaps in mathematics. This is a time when children are most susceptible to learning and developing social, intellectual, and cognitive skills. Their retention increases exponentially.
These sensitive periods can be harnessed to help your child reach their maximum potential. Get the most out of these spans by observing their interests and providing exposure to related experiences. Use resources and learning materials to catalyze their learning during this time.
Image by zolashelton from pixabay Copyright 2019
2.7. Observation and Optimization
Maria Montessori could design an approach or pedagogy because of observations she made in the classroom. To notice your child’s sensitive period, you need to observe their behavior.
Sincere observation can lead to the parents gathering a lot of information about their child that might have been otherwise overlooked. This will help parents make the effort to create space and facilitate specific impulses of the child.
2.8. Provide Guidance
A child can show best what they need for their emotional, social, or cognitive development. You should make attempts to meet those needs, by essentially following their lead.
Prepare an environment for them that caters to these requirements. Even during their playtime, do not engage too closely with them. Always observe what they are doing and follow suit.
Image by ddimitrova from pixabay Copyright 2016
2.9. Accessibility in Learning
Going back to Maria’s philosophy, one way of letting a child explore and be creative is to make their things accessible to them. Parents can place their child’s toys, clothes, books, and other things they need at heights that they can reach. Their world should feel like it is made for their convenience, not for the adults.
Montessori philosophy stresses placing their necessities on lower shelves, at their eye level, so that they can independently access them. Not only does this inculcate self-sufficiency but also gives them a feeling of empowerment!
2.10. Practice what You Preach
A child models the parents’ behavior. As a parent, you have a big role to play here. The effects of Montessori parenting are lost if your child does not get the examples from their parents. You should do what you teach a child.
Image by AndrewLozovyi from Depositphotos Copyright
3. Final Words
Children are imitating beings. However small an action may be, when they see it, they do it. Children will emulate good behavior if that is what is shown to them. Hence parents should always keep themselves in check. Set a good example for the little ones!
Thus, in a nutshell, Montessori parenting is about giving a child choices, freedom, opportunities, and respect. By relying on their natural curiosity, Montessori parenting gives them the environment to be creative and expressive and grow up to be independent individuals.
Suggested Reading: A Complete Guide: Do Foster Parents Get Paid
Last Updated on by Himani Rawat
