There are several books on codependency available to make people aware of the condition. Anyone can show signs of codependency. Codependency refers to the phenomenon of being mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually dependent on a partner.
People tend to confuse codependency with caring, which is a natural tendency to look out for the person we love.
Before jumping into books on codependency, let me clarify the exact difference between caring and codependency.
Ten distinctions between Codependency and Caring:-
1- Caring for a person works as a human reflex. On the other hand, codependency has its baggage in terms of liability. Codependents think that helping their counterpart is the only aim of their life.
2- The care a codependent person provides defines their existence, take it away, and they will start fumbling to function independently.
3- Codependent people did not come under the bubble of self-reliance. A carer, on the other hand, is aware of their choices which they can handle independently.
4- Oblivious that they are clingy and one-sided is one of the major signs of a codependent. It does not matter to them if their feelings are not reciprocated.
5- A carer is well-off with the fact that loving someone does not mean snatching the autonomy of their partner, and they know that there is a fine line between being caring and codependency.
6- Those who are predisposed towards codependent behavior struggle to draw boundaries between themselves and their counterpart.
7- While the carer comprehends what is theirs and what is not, they sometimes get influenced by their counterparts, but they never let their individuality get jumbled with another.
8- a) Putting another person on a pedestal is the ultimate sign of a codependent human. They sacrifice their time, happiness, even their health at the altar for their partner’s contentment.
b) Out of love, carers will also sacrifice at some point, but they will not offer if it costs their whole existence.
9- Last but not least, the lie of dependency: many people need others to help in their day-to-day chores. Nevertheless, irrespective of being in need, a codependent mind will behave like a person who needs a crutch.
10- A carer will not oblige to help others until and unless the third party says so. Codependents are kind of obsessed with their partner, but a carer will keep things healthy and spontaneous.
In a nutshell, a codependent is someone who has lost self. Now that the concept and difference between the two are coherent, I have some book recommendations.
Below are 10 Books on Codependency that can help you heal and recover:-
1- Codependent No More (Workbook) by Melody Beattie.
In the mid-80s, Melody Beattie’s classic self-help books on codependency make people aware of this concept. This bundle of papers was officially created for people-pleaser.
These books on codependency compile stories and tips to assist the readers in acknowledging their problems and helping them to practice self-love.
There is a workbook intact in this book on codependency which is convenient for readers to track down their improvement with a series of 10 lessons.
2- You’re Not Crazy- You’re Codependent: What everyone affected by Addiction, Abuse, Trauma or Toxic Shaming Must Know to have peace in their lives by Jeanette Elisabeth Menter.
While growing up in a family of drug addiction or alcoholism, most people are sometimes unaware of the impact addiction can have on their own lives.
The issue is not only limited to trauma, emotional or physical abuse, and shame. They feel exceedingly responsible for the happiness of others.
The problems mentioned above can further lead to anxiety, depression, doing things perfectly, and unhealthy relationships.
The book on codependency by Menter uses the mindfulness technique in an interactive style to guide readers to heal from codependency.
3- The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents by Melody Beattie.
With 4.3 ratings in Goodreads, this books on codependency have a lot to offer. By reflecting on the crux of codependency, every meditation inscribes in it is infused with the warmth of calmness.
Melody Beattie has brought daily guidance in this book from her own experience. Each chapter has a motivational meditation to practice.
4- Beyond Codependency And Getting Better All the Time by Melody Beattie
Let lose yourself from unhealthy relationships; consider this a jackpot for getting back on track after indulging in an unhealthy timetable.
No matter the situation, Melody Beattie will guide you through her words enshrined in her books; in this book on codependency, Melody shows you more than codependency.
Guidance on the sphere on recovery and relapse, surrender, and spirituality are themes of ‘Beyond Codependency’ live free from the foundation to solve other’s problems.
This book is specifically for those who have crossed the bridge of confining their territory towards the third person, and now they have to practice living independently.
A handbook for those who want to master the art of self-love. I admire the books on codependency by Beattie because she blends the content with a personal touch.
5- Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson Mackenzie, Shannon Thomas.
Muddled-up emotions, stuck in a toxic relationship, and you have no idea what’s been wrong with you lately. Stop pondering and start reading this book.
Jack Mackenzie, the voice of an expert in dealing with rebounding from toxic relationships, intuitive advice to move on by getting back to your real self has helped millions of people.
Jack has observed thousands of toxic relationship survivors, and he concluded that even after healing the majority of survivors, they still have the remnants of their past.
Which includes depression, anxiety, temperament, perfectionism, alcoholism, addiction, etc.
Nevertheless, he has researched and found that it is feasible to handle and contend with these symptoms and find love. Jack Mackenzie’s books on codependency will teach you how.
Topics like codependency, avoidant Personality, toxic shame, advanced anxiety disorder, egotistic abuse, borderline psychological disorder, and much more are discussed in ‘Whole Again.’
The book’s core is to provide hope, methods, and techniques to anyone who has survived the storm of a toxic relationship, lying, infidelity, and different sorts of abuse to start fresh.
6- The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation by Melody Beattie.
The novel ‘Codependent No More’ by Melody is classed as a modern classic; this work of Melody established her as an eminent self-help writer.
With the second installation, Beattie has come up with the concept that clarifies the myths associated with codependency and focuses on the dichotomy of codependent behavior. Moreover, it brings forth tips for healing.
Melody’s books on codependency explore a whole new aspect of codependency with the owner’s manual guide on to be your true self and retrieve your lives by moving on from unhealthy things.
7- Love is a Choice: The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships by Thomas Hemfelt.
Human beings are permitted to codependency naturally as we use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves.
Renounce the pattern of codependency by educating yourself on the healing process after being in a codependent relationship.
Sometimes Christian principles are misused by a codependent since it’s a deceiving game.
This book describes exactly how we can make a divine connection with christ by leaving a codependent environment.
‘Love is a Choice’ by Thomas will explain to you the reason behind codependency and teach the readers on the journey to outgrow this addiction through ten stages of recovery.
8- The Road Back To Me: Healing and Recovering From Codependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self Esteem by Lisa A Romano.
Lisa’s upbringing was filled with bullying to the extent that it led to suicidal thoughts. She was born to two irrecoverable adult children of alcoholics.
Unlike other books, this book on codependency is short, crisp, and a moving reflection from her miserable journey of unworthiness and how it molds her life.
Lisa’s curation of stories is impeccable. It feels like you are in her head and going through all childhood trauma with her.
This book highlight the baggage of childhood traumas we all take with ourselves to our adult life.
This book is a holy grail for neglected and unloved children and people surrounding them because it explains that the effects of an unhealthy childhood often stick around your whole life.
The author’s sole purpose while writing this book was to heal the trigger points of the devastating and dysfunctional childhood of the readers. In this way, they can recover fully.
Romano’s work is a powerpack for the person dealing with codependency, obsessive thinking, and denial. Do check out books on codependency by Lisa A Romana if you are on a healing journey.
9- Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You by Darlene Lancer.
Darlene Lancer’s book provides help to those who go through a tough phase in their life that induces shame, self-doubt, and a feeling of codependency.
10- Please don’t Say You Need Me: Biblical Answers for Codependency by Jan Silvious.
Muddled up by their conflicting emotions, sometimes people feel like living with the person they care for, but at the same time, they feel like escaping the rat trap in which the person’s partner is affecting their self-esteem.
The book offers practical and biblical answers for those coping with codependency.