How to be a good husband? This question has puzzled many newlyweds and it’s quite a subjective topic. Starting a relationship is easy but maintaining it can prove to be quite difficult. It’s not a rare situation when couples get divorced due to a simple disbalance of chemistry between the two individuals.
To make a marriage work, both partners must make efforts and become a better version of themselves. Just the husband being a good man isn’t enough, some things shouldn’t be neglected, and it goes both ways, for the husband as well as the wife. So today we’ll take a look at things that you need to or must do to become a good husband.
1) Tips for Being a Good Husband
1.1) Build Trust
The first and the most essential step for becoming a good husband is trust. Trust issues have destroyed many relations time and time again. So, the first thing you need to do as a good husband is to establish yourself as a trustworthy person.
If a marriage lacks trust then misunderstandings and irrational insecurities are inevitable. To be trustworthy you must be transparent with your partner. This doesn’t mean that you should sacrifice your personal space but if you try to be more open about your activities, friends, and even fears then you can build a deeper relationship with the foundation of trust.
1.2) Try Compromising
Compromising is a two-way process, if your wife is the only one compromising, it’s not a good sign. There are fights and arguments between every couple but handling the conclusion of the fights is necessary.
Making small compromises for your spouse’s happiness is worth it. But again it’s like forming a middle ground, compromising everything will only make things frustrating for you and it’ll build up unnecessary anger and tension in the long run. Compromises are helpful within some boundaries so make sure to hold back on some matters for a better relationship.
The one factor that has the power to make your relationship smooth sailing or destroy it is communication. Given you have some misunderstandings or some things that you don’t like or do like make sure that you let your wife know about it.
The most important thing is that your partner should know what you are thinking to stay on the same page. Making sure to convey your thoughts is very essential. Whenever you argue make sure to talk to her instead of storming off because both of these cases can change the outcome entirely.
Keeping your thoughts to yourself is never a good idea specifically if those thoughts are related to your better half. Communication is the best and the easiest way for conflict resolution as it will give you different viewpoints for the same circumstances.
1.4) Don’t Judge
Judging others is something that comes to everyone naturally. But make sure to never judge your wife based on her hobby, likes, or dislikes.
Another thing that can break a happy marriage is a judgemental husband (or spouse). Don’t make assumptions about her personality based on some random choices she made.
Let’s say for example if she drinks alcohol it doesn’t imply that her lifestyle is not good. or if she simply likes to talk to her male friends, you shouldn’t assume that they must be flirting The biggest issue in such cases is the dress-up.
Making her quit wearing something due to your agenda is never a good sign. Our world is progressing forward making small matters like these a big deal will only result in more arguments.
1.5) Control Your Ego (Don’t Be Defensive)
Everyone is egoistic at certain points and it’s completely natural but being way too egoistic about everything is unnecessary and self-destructive. Both men and women can be defensive when it comes to certain things and this leads to a huge conflict between the partners.
Even if it’s a small matter, when it comes to your ego you cannot handle it. But when you feel like your ego is getting hurt don’t forget that your actions for defending it might cost you a lot more.
This doesn’t imply that you shouldn’t defend yourself ever, this just means that try to do it correctly. Don’t be impulsive or rushed to serve your ego, if you think rationally every conflict can be resolved.
Another thing that’s essential between a couple is appreciating the actions and words of your partner. Many people aren’t good at showing how much they appreciate the deeds of their partner but it’s quite necessary.
Making your wife know that her efforts are being acknowledged is an important part of a loving relationship.
When they know that they are appreciated for what they did, they’ll feel happy and most probably try doing it more often. Just small words of appreciation can make anyone’s day. And this is something that can keep the whole vibe positive between the couples. Just let her know that she is a good wife.
1.7) Make Efforts
Making an effort is easier said than done but it’s extremely important to hold onto your marriage. Let’s say you had a love marriage, you made efforts to impress her to date her.
You probably made changes to your habits that you felt were wrong. But once you do get married, losing this mindset can make things messy.
If you see that there’s a problem that needs to be fixed, then just go ahead and fix it. Make an effort to calm things down or change things that are causing you and your wife problems. Take initiative in things that you can control. Take care of your physical appearance. Keep your spending habits in check. These little things can make your marriage a success.
Simply remembering things your wife likes and dislikes or remembering important days in your love life can prove that you have made efforts to make your wife happy. Just knowing that you have a problem and doing nothing to fix the problems can lead to an unsatisfactory married life for both partners.
1.8) Keep Things Fresh
Now, this is something that’s way too common these days. Getting married is an ultimate binding bond that lasts for a long time, meaning you become a part of your spouse’s life for a long duration. But this can start making your married life boring. You need to keep the sparks lit before it gets boring! and stop doing things the same way.
This is personal advice and it’s extremely subjective but people do different things to keep things fresh. The best ways to do so are by buying new things together, introducing your friends, and hanging out together.
Make sure to go on dates now and then, make it feel like your first date, Some people even adopt animals to spend time together taking care of the pets.
1.9) Honesty Is the Key
Honesty has proved to be an important factor for a successful marriage, given that it’s done under some consideration and boundaries. Being Honest with your partner about everything will naturally form a bond of trust and it will eventually make you a wonderful husband.
Let’s take an example, if you have a habit of smoking cigarettes and you haven’t told your wife, you’ll have to live under this constant pressure and fear of what would happen if she finds out.
The worst case would be her finding out about it from someone else, so it’s always better, to be honest right from the beginning. This will also keep your marriage away from unnecessary doubts and misunderstandings.
But again being Honest doesn’t imply literally. While Honesty has saved marriages it has also destroyed a few. If you know your words can make her sad or anxious, keep it to yourself till the right time arrives.
1.10) Respect Personal Space
Another mistake many couples make is forgetting about their partner’s personal space. When you get married you spend most of the time together but this also means that you need some quality time alone with others or just yourself. And respecting this decision is a part of being a good husband.
Doing things like tagging along for everything, keeping an eye on her social media or other similar things can give her a vibe that you are doubting her and this can lead to some tension between you both. Knowing when to distance yourself a little from your wife’s private life matters is important.
Give them alone time to consider things. When you want an answer for something important or if you are eager to do something for your enjoyment, give your partner some time to think.
The most essential factor is the time and the place, make sure to understand the vibe before requesting something.
If your wife doesn’t appear to be sure if she wants to do that particular thing, give her some time. This is how compromising works. Even after a fight or an argument don’t push your partner to the limits to prove a point, give them time to rethink their decision.
1.11) Be a Good Listener
Being an active listener is a necessary character trait for everything. Most of the time people need someone to listen to what they feel and want.
There are instances where you cannot do much to help but you can always lend your ears. This also results in understanding your wife better than before.
You can get a grip on what she’s facing daily or if anything has been bothering her. You don’t need to give a solution, just listening to the problems can prove to be the best solution in many cases.
The more you listen the more you’ll learn to empathize with your spouse and start becoming a better husband eventually. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes can clear your perception and even change your judgment regarding certain issues.
1.12) Be Loyal and Faithful
Now This is not even a suggestion, it’s the number one rule for a smooth and happy marriage. Being greedy and having an indecent relationship outside of your marriage is morally wrong and ethically questionable.
Controlling your desires is a tough job but staying loyal to your spouse is the most essential part.
If you aren’t sure that you do wish to be with your partner just tell them that you wish to file for a divorce. I know that goes against everything I’ve written so far but hurting yourself and your spouse by having an extramarital affair is worse.
Just being open about your real intentions can be very hard but it’ll cause less suffering for you as well as your spouse.
Disloyalty in a marriage is the most toxic downfall of the relationship and it’s 100% circumstantial if things would go back to the way they were.
Taking this chance to satisfy greed can be extremely painful. Living with the guilt of being unfaithful is worse than coming forward and accepting that you wish to be with someone else.
If you are not happy and satisfied with your marriage, end it before things start getting toxic and painful for everyone around you. But this is of course applicable when you are cheating or thinking about it.
If you are sure that you wish to be with your spouse then just stay loyal to her, cheating is the worst thing you could do to her. Just remember how this will have a negative impact on your spouse and your marriage.
Being cheated on can make someone feel undesired and flawed, and it can affect their self esteem. Don’t make the mistake of making your loved ones suffer just for some short-lived enjoyment.
1.13) Don’t Be a Hero
Alright, this could be a controversial opinion but acting like an Alpha man to the rescue is not seen as a good character trait now.
When I say don’t be a hero it means that you should support your wife’s decisions but also let her fight her fights when she is capable enough to do so.
Jumping to be the hero is extremely impulsive and illogical. When there are fights just try to break down the situation and think of a solution together with your wife.
Acting out everything you see in movies is never a good idea. Try talking things out and if the problem is out of your hands take help from the professionals.
1.14) Spend Time Together
Another important relationship-determining factor people neglect after getting married is spending some quality time together. There could be many reasons behind it but then again, you must spend time with your partner.
Also Check: How to Be a Good Wife? 11 Important Tips
It’s usually due to an imbalance between your work and your married life. The best suggestion in such cases is just to try to leave your work at your workplace.
Try to learn how to manage your time in a way in which you give sufficient time to your work and your wife. Talk about your day and ask your wife about hers, Find meaningful things to share and try to have better communication. If you are too busy at work just call or send text messages.
1.15) Be Creative
Now Being creative involves finding new ways to please your partner just to keep things fresh. Just going on dates and spending time doing what you both like can make your love life smooth sailing.
Try doing new and fun things together, in day-to-day life and also in bed. This way things won’t get boring, it’s like a quick fix for your marriage. Find new ways online to make your marriage fun.
1.16) Don’t Be Too Materialistic
Giving value to objects and belongings more than your partner is also quite disastrous. For instance, let’s say there is a married couple, and the husband loves playing video games every time he gets the chance.
While this habit alone isn’t harmful, once you get married you need to prioritize your wife and marriage more than the video games or any other materialistic entity where you spend the majority of your time.
Spending time doing what you like and buying what you want is great but being too fixated on these things can be harmful. Just Make sure that even when you are fixated on things, you shouldn’t neglect your family.
1.17) Be Patient
Reaching a conclusion on an impulse or acting out without thinking is never the right choice. Being patient with others is important in every type of relationship.
Every person has flaws just try to accept these flaws and find a way to be patient even when things seem to agitate. You can resolve 80% of the issues you have with your partner by being patient and calm.
There must be some times when things don’t go the way you want them to, or maybe you just found yourself in an unwanted situation (let’s say your wife is shopping but you hate it) at times like these staying patient is the only solution.
1.18) Support Them
Support your partner’s decisions whether it’s learning a new language or going out with their friends. When you support your partner’s choices they’ll feel safe sharing everything with you. It gives a sense of independence when your partner is supportive of your wishes.
Saying No to genuine things can make your wife believe that she is not on an equal footing in the marriage. Additionally stopping someone from doing something will only make them wish for it more.
But keeping general things aside, as her husband it’s a necessity that you support her unconditionally when she needs it. It can be during tragedy or success, be supportive in every way possible. Find different ways to cheer them up when they feel down.
This also means that your feelings and actions will be reciprocated. Being a supportive husband will make your wife more supportive of you.
1.19) Don’t Be Overprotective
Being protective is a good thing but overdoing everything is unhealthy. Showing how much you love your wife is extremely important but becoming overprotective can backfire.
Restricting her from doing certain things that she likes can come off as “too controlling” even when you are just worried about your partner.
Don’t try to defend her all the time or keep tabs on what she’s doing 24/7. When you are being overprotective you can also feel extremely jealous about small matters and it’ll just create more misunderstandings and doubts between you and your wife.
Just be protective under some boundaries or you’ll end up isolating her just because you are worried.
1.20) Stay Open-Minded
This is the golden rule for being a good husband. Our world is changing every day but still, some couples find themselves in a position where they have to give up on what they are or what they like just because their partner refuses to be open-minded.
Being an open-minded person doesn’t simply mean that you should go along with anything and everything. But being open-minded regarding your partner’s life choices is necessary.
Like if they want to wear a revealing dress, go to a party with their friends or have a friend of the opposite sex, It shouldn’t trigger them. It’s 2022, and generalizing or insulting your partner’s choices can prove to be extremely close-minded.
Showing concern regarding some specific things is fine but you need to put your trust in your wife. Instead of feeling like others could have ulterior motives, don’t forget that your wife is capable of dealing with things in her way. Make sure to support her but don’t undermine her decisions.
1.21) Understanding Nature
This is necessary not just for being a good husband but for being a decent human. You should try to be empathetic and understand your partner’s point of view. Don’t see everything from one perspective, try understanding where your partner is coming from.
If she is angry or sad try to understand why or how things have affected her. Having an understanding and kind nature can ease your wife no matter what she’s feeling.
Even if you haven’t gone through the things that your wife is going through, make sure to let her know that it doesn’t change the fact that you are always there for her.
1.22) Never Resort to Violence
Now, this is something that should be understood without saying. It’s not optional advice, it’s a breach of the law if you resort to violence. Couples fight very often. And getting upset or arguing about things can be fine but domestic violence should never be an option.
No matter how enraged you are, you should never raise your hand to your partner. This also involves meaninglessly degrading or insulting your partner just because you were angry. This is simply an excuse, it’s normal for people to say hurtful things when they fight but you must think before you speak.
Words can hurt your partner for a long time even if they angered you about something that barely matters. Being Violent and abusive is against the law but it’s also ethically wrong.
An abusive partner can scar someone’s life forever and fill them, with negative feelings. But just on a side note there’s always help if you need it. If you are a victim of domestic violence you must speak up.
There are thousands of ways to be a good husband to your wife. But the fact that you read this article shows that you want to make an effort. However, simply reading a blog post suggestion isn’t enough. You must know what your partner’s expectations are from you and act on them, One step at a time.