How to get over your friend and move on?
It is no easy work to get over your friend and move on. To learn how to get over, your friend is much more complicated than getting closure with your partner. We are scared of losing our friend, and when he/she is our best friend, it becomes all the more difficult.
Friendship breakups are never easy. We never want to lose the one with whom we share the integral details of our life. It takes less outgoing people or outspoken ones a lot of time to establish proper emotional bonding with someone. So they will never want to destroy the already settled friendship even if it comes with its worse sides.
Real friendships are meant to make us happy and uplift us, but if they make us feel low, then they are toxic. It is better to get rid of such toxic relationships.
How to Get Over A Friend and Move on?
1. Do you doubt the friendship?
Sometimes a point comes up where we start doubting our friendship and anticipating certain things. We start analyzing the point of our attachment. We question the friendship and want to reach an immediate conclusion.
Suddenly, we start finding out little flaws from the friendship. We fight over small issues. We want to quarrel over petty matters for the sake of fighting.
The conversation becomes more difficult and complicated gradually. We never seem to agree on some things or share the same interests. Thus we start feeling the conversations are awkward where we cannot speak openly or express our opinions.
2. Do not hold on to the memories
When you want to learn how to get over your friend, you need to accept the fact sometimes it is essential to let go of the past. You cannot hold on to memories when you want to know how to get over your friend. Friendship breakups hurt like hell, but in the long run, they help you how to get over your friend. It is stupid to expect that things will be the same way as they were after breaking off the friendship or when it takes an entirely different turn.
3. We should cut off communication
While you want to learn how to get over your friend, you need to know there is no use being in touch over the phone or social media. As you decrease spending time with them, communication automatically fades away.
After romantic breakups, we generally tend to block the person, but for the friendship, we fear that the only person we are close to mentally, will move away from us. Maybe we cannot do it immediately, but we need to do it gradually.
You can find more information in this video
4. You cannot ignore red-flags
If you see signs of miscommunication or anything which might endanger your peace of mind, then it is advised not to keep such relationships going.
This affects our mental peace and stability. We can be too blind to see the real situation just because we will judge it from the soft spot, but it won’t help our go-ahead. If we keep encouraging toxic factors, then we will never know how to get over a friend.
5. Complete disagreement: the primary signal for letting go
To learn how to get over your friend, we should keep looking out for signals in the friendship. That does not mean doubting and judging a healthy relationship. But when you experience feelings towards him/her which cannot be cultivated or nurtured like romantic relationships, then this might become painful for you.
So to remember how to get over your friend, you should watch out if you still agree on the same things. If suddenly you are moving poles apart on every topic or decision, then it is not a good sign.
We do notice a rapid decrease in attention from them. This is another alarming situation when you should learn how to get over your friend. You should not misinterpret this advice as being possessive or nosy and not giving them enough space.
But when they ignore you, you must react to that. There might be several reasons why this might happen. Maybe they are no longer comfortable around you once you try to open up about your feelings. So to learn how to get over your friend, you must notify the minor changes.
This might just help you know more.
7. Not Up to the expectations
It is natural that based upon your previous experiences with your best friend, you will build certain expectations in your mind. But to know how to get over your friend, you must know when to stop comparing your expected reactions from them with the real ones.
You must have been harboring certain feelings about his/her expected reaction. So, when you do not receive the typical response, you do not know how to get over your friend and the genuine love you have for them.
You should stop looking for familiar behavior giving in to the factor of discomfort or avoidance your friend shares after your confession.
8. Trying to see if you share the same trust with them
Friendships are built on the ground of faith and hope. If you shared a strong affinity with them, it is evident that you had the right amount of trust between you.
But it can happen that after they sense your feelings about them, situations change. Since they cannot reciprocate your feelings, they might feel uncomfortable to confide in you anymore. So it might be possible that they look out for other people.
This will result in trust. Breaking of trust is another noticeable change while learning how to get your friend.
9. Are you the only one trying?
To know how to get over your friend, you should see if you are the only one holding on to the friendship. Friendship can never be a one-way street, so if you are the only person trying or holding back, then it is bound to break apart after a certain point.
There is no use holding on to the relation which is not meant to be. The wise act is to know when and how to let go, and that will be the ultimate step about how to get over your friend.
If the effort is one-sided, then you should restore respect in the friendship and choose to walk away from the bond yourself. You cannot expect closure from your friend when you are trying to let go.
10. Grieve the loss
While knowing how to get over your friend, you must know you should give yourself time. The time to accept the loss. It will take quite a lot of time to receive that your closest friend has rejected you or left you, but in time it will bring you great mental peace, .which will help you move on. If you cannot accept the loss, you will never know how to get over your friend.
11. Work towards your own life goals
When you want to know how to get over your friend, you must ensure you are careful about your future. As already said, grieving is a part of the process, but it should not take away all your essential time and draw you away from your work and schedule.
The routine should be restored to maintain proper health. You must not forget what goals you have planned for yourself and work more towards achieving them. If you have lost your best friend, you will have no immediate support in your struggles, and you will learn to live through your efforts alone.
This will help you focus more on your health and career goals.
12.Tear up your Bucket-List
If you want to know how to get over your friend, you must give up on everything you had planned with them. Mostly you plan your trips and dates with your best friend, but when things go downhill, you can no longer include them in your plans.
The bucket list you made, things you wanted to do with them.
Maybe skiing, visiting, or any other to-do things which were on your list did not exclude them, but now you need to know how to get over your friend and make your bucket list. You need to move on.
13. Plan movie dates at home alone
Since you shared an intense level of intimacy and comfort with your best friend, it will be challenging to adapt to your new weekend plans without them. But as a part of “how to get over your friend” process, you need to sort out your weekend plans alone.
You need to stop reminiscing the times you two watched a movie together and shared the same thoughts. You cannot have those times back.
So what you can do instead is make yourself a mug of hot chocolate or a cappuccino and hook yourself into an intense psychological thriller which will make you rack your brains!
Focusing on romantic content, including films, may just bring back your painful memories, and it won’t help you to learn how to get over your friend. So binge some drama or brain-storming mystery!
14. Process the anger slowly
If you did not get the reaction, you were expecting you may witness a strange repercussion from yourself. The intelligent thing to do would be to process the anger slowly and let it gradually forgive them.
Otherwise, you will never know how to get over your friend. The anger will persist. You will keep on blaming them for not accepting your feelings and reciprocating the way you wanted them to.
15. Write it down in a letter
This can be one of the best ways when it comes to “how to get over your friend.”
Letting it all out on paper will help you spill out all your unfiltered emotions, which you are not able to express to them. You can rant about all the things you want to tell them. The anger, hatred, and bad memories which you are afraid to talk about or confront and lighten yourself.
Burdening yourself with unnecessary emotions and holding them back will only allow the people in your life to suffer from the impact of your depressed state.
So, writing out pages can be a perfect option. You can let your confessions out too. If you do not want to send it to them, you can just throw it away later. But this will surely help you know how to get over your friend.
16. Never expect an apology
If you want to learn how to get over your friend, you must accept that you will never get an apology or a closure from them. Just because they could not reciprocate to your feelings doesn’t mean they will apologize for the pain they caused you.
They do not owe you an apology. So you need to build your closure
17. Do not try to reconnect in future
When you are learning how to get over your friend, you should also realize you don’t leave out any options to reconnect in the future.
Even if you meet them in person or over social media, you should never try to re-establish the old friends as it will bring you nothing except hurt and pain.
Since you never got the deserved closure, your emotions might be vulnerable. You will want to get back the old intimacy you shared. But in reality, to learn how to get over your friend, it is never possible.
Here is a related article on breaking up with friends.
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You can find more information on this video about signs of a toxic friendship.
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