How to let go of the wrong guy? This difficulty is faced by everyone at some point in their lives.
Do you ever feel like you’re stuck? Being with somebody who doesn’t make you smile the way you used to? Somebody who hears what you say but doesn’t listen? Do you often think about what life would be like without him? Today, we will discuss how to let go of the wrong guy. Do yourself a favor and take a trip down your relationship’s memory lane.
And if you think that things aren’t the way they used to be; I hate to be the one to break it to you but you’re with the wrong guy. But just because he isn’t your soul mate, it doesn’t have to mean that you cut him off entirely…
We’ve all had our fair share of breakup stories. Now, these are stories that could belong to any genre; comedy, tragedy, horror, you name it. But in the end, when we do find ourselves stuck in this situation all we can do is hope for the best-case scenario. And what might that be? Every man leaves unharmed. Don’t hurt his feelings and make sure you don’t hurt yours.
But we all know that leaving a relationship without any scratches seems nearly impossible. So here are the top 15 ways on how to let go of the wrong guy–
How to let go of the wrong guy: 15 Ways
1. Confront him
For option A, we’ll go with honesty is the best policy. Here, you need to tell him what’s on your mind and tell him what’s bothering you. Now, this could go multiple ways either he has an explanation and tries to be your ideal man or is straight up going to lose it and turn this into a tragic story. Either way, you’ll be doing the right thing by being honest with him. It takes strength to admit the truth and we know you have it in you. This is by far the best way to let go of the wrong guy.
2. Say that it’s on you
Hit him with the classic ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Now, this is where you have a chance to be the bigger person. Take the fall and give that ego of his, the little boost that it needs. This will ensure that even if he’s hurt by the fact that he’s being dumped when he goes back to his crew at least he can say that he wasn’t the problem (or so he thinks). A little kindness goes a long way. Maybe you couldn’t save him, but at least you’ll save his self-esteem.
3. Keep it short and sweet
You need to be direct and you need to keep it to the point. Remember there is a thing called oversharing. Some guys might be into the whole emotional heart-to-heart exchange of goodbyes but most of them just want to get it over with. Do it quick, like ripping off a band-aid. Tell him how you feel in a manner as brief as possible. Give him the benefit of the doubt and let him decide what’s next. This way, he won’t spend days pining, wondering what went wrong.
4. Give him answers
While some boys prefer it when it’s over quick and easy, some tend to overthink. Overthinking that’ll lead to multiple questions in their head. Questions that’ll keep them up for days, interfere with their daily duties for some even their appetites. Overthinking that will eat them alive. And, how do we avoid this? With solutions. Leave no question of his unanswered, explain yourself, and explain the decisions you’ve made. Remember you want this to end well. You want to let go of the wrong guy, in the right way.
5. Don’t play the blame game
Try your best to keep it mutual. You don’t want him hating you for the rest of your lives but you don’t want him hating himself either. Instead of focusing on why it didn’t work focus on why it did all this time. Ensure him that it wasn’t his doing that got your relationship here in the first place. Say that it’s not him and say that it’s not you but it’s just the way things are. You have to remind him that if it’s meant to be, only then will it be. After all, it is what it is.
6. Keep it personal
If you wanna know how to let go of the wrong guy, then subtlety is key. You don’t want the entire world knowing your business and neither does he. When you do decide to come clean, make sure that it’s as intimate as can be. Do not involve anybody else. Go through with it in a private space, a safe space nobody wants this to end with a public outrage or breakdown that draws unnecessary and unwanted attention. When you say what you do, fray from using harsh words. Use familiar terms and provide comfort.
7. Be his bud
Men tend to be uncomfortable sharing their feelings with other men. They are often vulnerable to their emotions around other men no matter how close they might be. Most of the time, a man only opens up about his true feelings to the woman he’s in love with.
If your man does not have somebody apart from you that he’s comfortable talking to, make sure you let him know that you are here from him and will hear him out. Be his buddy. As they say, a friend in need is a friend indeed. This is also a great way to try and salvage what’s left of your relationship together and convert it into a friendship.
8. It doesn’t have to end here
In most long-term relationships, couples would say that “I’m dating my best friend” You get so comfortable with each other and so involved in each other’s lives that you grow dependent on one other. You tend to talk to each other about anything and everything, ask for advice when you’re stuck, help in times of need, and take on the duties of a best friend. This co-dependency is hard to get over for both the man and the woman in the relationship.
And letting go of the wrong guy doesn’t always have to end in a plane crash. Instead, it can be a long journey just a different destination than the one you had planned earlier. Move backward. Go from the end-zone to the friend-zone. Things will probably never be the same again and you might or might not be able to be just best friends but it could fruit into an unexpected friendship.
9. Avoid giving him false hope
When you tell him that the story doesn’t end here ensure that you give him the terms and conditions straight. Make sure that there’s no confusion and that nobody is getting any wrong ideas. Lay it on him that it’s strictly just a friendship and not a hint at another shot or a possible future for your relationship together. Be clear and differentiate between a break and a breakup. Trust me, nobody wants a Ross and Rachel situation on their hands.
And before any of this make sure that you have a clear idea about what you want. Do not make a decision that you might come to regret later if you want to skip this point and are okay with giving him false hope and thinking about a future together, maybe you need to rethink your decision.
10. Avoid the trip down memory lane
While some enjoy talking reminiscing over the good times, most find talking about the past painful. Things as simple as a song, movie, book or even a venue can remind one of what they had and now have lost. Skip the mention of any fond memories and don’t forget to leave out any details. You’re well aware of the story of your relationship and so is he so avoid hitting rewind and recalling all that he probably wants to forget right away. Cherish what you had and leave it at that.
This is how you can get over a break-up. Click here to read.
11. Give him space
This is an important step if you want to know how to let go of the wrong guy.
Not every guy will need you to be his support system. Some can do just fine on their own. But when the breakup is one-sided and he’s on the other side, sometimes all he needs is some time and space to think things over and understand what’s happening right now.
Sometimes all he needs is a minute to take it in, and when the woman whom he thought was the love of his life is pondering him to see how he’s taking it or hovering over him to make sure he’s okay, he can get even more frustrated. So sometimes all you need to do is respect his decision and grant him some space, you can drop in to check in on him once in a while in a very subtle manner but leave it at that.
12. Delay giving him the breaking news
Post-breakup, even if you have been able to move on right away and slide into the arms of another man it does not mean that your previous flame is burnt out. Everyone has their way of processing breakups. Just because you can move on easily, doesn’t mean that he can do the same, especially if he was the one that was broken up with.
If the two of you have decided to go on with your friendship and if you’ve found somebody new before he’s been able to keep your new relationship on the DL for a bit, just till he’s comfortable enough. The last thing a pining man needs is to see the girl of his dreams run out of his arms and in the arms of another.
13. Do the dirty
If you’re feeling guilty about how you’re going to have to end things and are worried about breaking the heart of the sweetest guy you’ve ever come across, then don’t worry. As I mentioned earlier, it’ll only be if it’s meant to be. Now, this is where you get sneaky. Surely you know him well enough.
Try and do the things that you know he doesn’t want you to do. If you were already his ideal type? Act oppositely. Make him think that this breakup was his decision and not yours.
This may be a little ruthless and harsh, but it’s foolproof if you want to avoid any chances or hurting him. It isn’t always dancing with the devil, sometimes it is you who must transform into the devil himself.
14. Bring in the big guns
If doing the dirty was of no help, maybe it’s time for you to call in the big guns. It’s time to go to the last resort; bring in your family and friends. Call in a favor and have them help you be rid of a relationship that’s going nowhere. Make it seem so that this union will never be accepted or blessed by the one’s dearest to you and he will have no choice but to back off.
I know this seems extremely cruel and heartless but sometimes that’s what it takes. Desperate times call for desperate measures. But remember this is only a last resort. This is one of the last ways how to let go of the wrong guy.
15. Give him closure
And last but not least, you need to give him closure. Make sure that you don’t leave this relationship with any unanswered questions and are very clear about what’s next on the course for the two of you, whatever it may be.
People find closure in multiple ways. Some find closure in the exchange of personal items that the other had borrowed like clothing or momentum. Some want to be rid of them but throwing them out/ disposing of them. For some people, all they need is to sit down together and talk about what went down over a warm cup of tea or coffee/ for some it might be drinks.
Everybody has a different way of getting over the other person but before they do so, closure is something they require so make sure you give each other that before moving on. You don’t want to look back at this decision where you thought you were letting go of the wrong guy a couple of years down the lane, and wonder if it was a mistake. This step is the best step when you want to know how to let go of the wrong guy
So these are some ways how to let go of the wrong guy. Wanting to get over a meaningful relationship unscathed is a long shot, but it’s done that you should give a go at if you’re breaking up with somebody. After all, there’s no harm in trying these methods on how to let go of the wrong guy. Not all of these will apply to every man so do what you’ve got to do accordingly.
Comment your views about ‘how to let go of the wrong guy’. If you have any more suggestions or tips please do let us know in the comments. We’d love to hear your stories too. And finally, Happy Break-up Day to you!