Ruchi Verma, a mother, parenting practitioner, former corporate employee, blogger, influencer, and author, has many roles and one person. She believes it is her journaling and clear planning which aids her in steering through these roles smoothly. Ruchi Verma finds parenting as a form of art that is the unique creation of every parent.
Ruchi Verma is quite vocal on aspects of treating children equally and preaches what she practices: an environment of non-bias or non-discrimination at her house. She advocates for the friendly parental style emphasizing the importance of parents remaining as parents while dealing with their kids.
ICY Tales is in conversation with Ruchi Verma, who shares her insights and journey as a parent and blogger.
Q. Would you like to tell us something about yourself?
Ruchi Verma: I am an IT graduate, and after completing my post-graduation in IT, I worked as a lecturer at Lucknow University. Then I moved to Mumbai, where I commenced my corporate career; I worked as an HR person for around two and half years. Following this, I started writing blogs for over seven years; I am a full-time blogger and content writer.
I am primarily a mother of two adorable kids, and because of them being able to write and share my learnings, I pick up from my everyday life. In addition, I have written a book titled ‘Growing Up With Teens: A Cherry on Parenting Cake,’ which is one of the Amazon best sellers. I am also a certified Teen Parenting Practitioner listed among the top fifty most influential content marketing professionals.
Q. As a certified parenting teen practitioner, what difference do you see between present-day parenting and previous-generation parenting?
Ruchi Verma: I think there is a huge difference between both parenting styles. Every parent knows best for their kids; hence one cannot classify any parenting style as good or bad. Yet it is also true that the previous parenting style had a more deterrent influence than today’s; I remember as a child we were not only scared of our parents but were scared of any parent figures, be it neighbors or any uncle or aunty.
So though the environment we grew up in was open and welcoming, we were conditioned with such a mindset that the presence of grown-ups had a deterrent effect. On the flip side, today’s scenario is such that sometimes I feel sorry watching how over-pampering we as parents have become towards our children.
We pay the price with pampering to be their friends and enable them to be more expressive. We as parents often are very over-protective towards our kids, which is not bad per se but somewhere, I feel that I have enjoyed my childhood more than today’s kids in the real physical world.
Sometimes I feel as if something is missing in today’s parenting style. I might be wrong here, but as I said, every parenting style is unique. Again parents cannot be entirely blamed, because the world has changed, so many things are happening worldwide, we get news so obviously, parents will become protective of their children.
Q. How do you manage to juggle so many responsibilities? What is it that motivates you to keep going?
Ruchi Verma: It is my “Bahi-Khata’; Journaling is my key to smoothly juggling many responsibilities. I identify as an old-school person who constantly needs assistance through reminders as to what all needs to be done, so I maintain my journal and write everything, my ‘To-Do Lists’ because it helps me plan my day with a lot of clarity.
I learned this from my father, who always emphasized the importance of time and believed that if we do our every work on time, the day shall not fall short of accomplishing our targets. I consider planning inevitable in my everyday life, whether it’s kids’ schooling or household chores, and even for the writing part, this helps me smoothly maneuver through my chores.
Coming to what keeps me motivated; it’s the zeal and passion to learn. Even the reason behind starting the blog was to learn through sharing. My mother always tells me, ‘the more you share the knowledge, the more you will gain the knowledge.
I grasp every opportunity I get to learn from, and even when posting blogs or videos, I make it a point I learn something from my readers and my co-bloggers. I pick up and try to understand different perspectives and approaches to dealing with different situations. So, yes, I believe it is my passion for learning that keeps me motivated.
Q. How did the idea of building the community for moms conceive; what were your initial feelings?
Ruchi Verma: The idea of starting the ‘momslifenmore’ page was conceived when my co-founder and I talked about the various ventures new moms have started on their own. And we wanted to extend our hands, so they get leverage on social media; this was the sole motive behind starting the community on social media. It aimed to connect with the moms, and new mom entrepreneurs working from home to achieve something in life.
We got a very good response when we started it, and to date, we continue to connect with so many new mothers who are not much comfortable or free on social media but are doing great in their niche area. We reached out to them and told them how we would be helping them to mark their online presence, which would help them boost their business. In addition, we also intended to connect with like-minded moms on social media and share light heart humor on mom’s life on social media platforms.
Q. As a new generation parent, in your opinion, how important is it for the children to understand the financial aspect of everyday living?
Ruchi Verma: I believe every child must 100 percent understand the importance and value of money. It is our responsibility as parents to educate our children on the importance of money; for example, in my household, I have made a simple rule for my kids that if they want pocket money, they have to earn it: I do not mean they have to work or run for the job.
So we made it clear to them that they need to keep their space and room clean for an entire week, and a certain amount shall be deposited into their piggy bank as pocket money. This is how they learn good habits and the importance of money.
In my opinion, children must not feel entitled to getting money from parents; it has to start early. My motive behind this drill is to make them independent and teach them that every work is important and one must not feel belittled for doing any work. Moreover, they learn to value money.
Q. How do you deal with gender stereotypes, and what would you suggest?
Ruchi Verma: I am lucky enough to be blessed with a boy and a girl, so as I said earlier in our household, there is no designation or pre-assigned task assigned for any specific person. The teaching and value we have imbued into our children are that work has no gender; if my daughter has to wash her plate after dinner, even my son has to do it too, he knows this, and he also knows that no one else would be doing it. My children are conditioned with the value that this is their home and every job belongs to everyone.
I strongly believe that we set the platform for our future generation, and inequality starts with discrimination. Here the onus is on the parents as to what kind of environment they are giving to their children while growing up. So when they go out, they will pass on their values and thoughts to that ecosystem.
Hence I feel the least we can do is not to degrade any child in front of their siblings based on gender. And here, it is crucial to understand that uplifting one particular gender cannot and should not happen at the expense of another gender.
Unless and until we as parents do not establish the thought of gender equality in the minds of children, they will never understand its importance and will fall into the prevalent stereotypical mindset. Both our sons and daughters must be taught to respect the other gender without bias.
Q. What do you suggest when it comes to staying connected with the present generation kids as parents?
Ruchi Verma: Nowadays, we have a very open kind of parenting. Be available for your children, hear them out and even listen to their advice. During various discussions, involve them in the discussion if you have certain queries relating to your children. But when it comes to parenting, you have to be their parent and not friend, and you will have to draw the line. I believe if you want to stay connected with your kids as parents, then don’t be their friend; instead, be their parent with a friendly parenting style.
Here the parental instincts will not be respected by the kids; you have to be consistent with your parenting. It is the responsibility of parents to tell their kids the difference between wrong and right. You cannot be their friend and suddenly decide to be the parent one fine day.
Have a friendly, welcoming environment at home but also let them know you are their parents. In addition, I would also like to share that please don’t be the role model for your child, as nobody is perfect in this world. If you are making any mistakes, accept them in front of your kids; this will teach them a very important lesson about taking responsibility for their mistakes.
The more open and sharing the kids become with you, the easier it becomes for you to stay connected with them. This further makes it easier for them to approach you, accept their mistakes, be open with you, and share their concerns instead of being timid and suppressing their fears. Teach them to accept their mistakes, and as parents taking the onus of your own mistakes in front of them shall be the best lesson for them.
Q. People often wonder what they would say to their younger selves if they ever meet again. What would the present Ruchi Verma say to her teenage self?
Ruchi Verma: Touchwood, I had a very wonderful childhood, but if I had to go back and tell myself something, it would be primarily three things. Firstly, learn as much as possible; secondly, ignore other people’s opinions; lastly, don’t hesitate to ask for help. This last part I would say to myself back then, and I continue to say to myself even today, but it’s true that sometimes one needs help, and don’t be shy to ask it.
Q. What are some memorable reads you’ve come across up till now? And as an author writing your books, which one has been the most memorable experience for you and why?
Ruchi Verma: I have read a plethora of reads, but what is most memorable for me and close to my life was ‘my mother’s letters.’ As an individual, my mother was very quiet, so she mostly chose to communicate her feelings or reach out to me when am sad through her letters.
I remember whenever she was angry or I was in a bad mood, she would write something and put it in my notebook, and when I opened those notebooks, I always found a letter from her. These letters had poems or some write-ups, which were very inspiring. Those memories are something that I cherish till now, and those were the most precious things I have read in my life.
It has always been a dream to write a book about my book, and it is like an achievement for me. I started during covid, and I remember discussing everything with my husband; a few topics like puberty of daughters and sons were very much there in my mind, so I asked my husband if I should write it or not.
He said you should write about it because nobody speaks about it. In addition to this, another topic was cyberbullying, so we waited and worked on these topics to get them included in the book, and readers appreciated the book for discussing them.
Q. Could you share some tips on how to run a successful blog?
Ruchi Verma: Blogging is something you can’t start of blue; you must have a reason to start a blog. So if you are starting a blog, find a reason to start it, identify your niche, and what you want to share with your readers. And be consistent with your work; the money part comes much later; first, you must be true to your content and audience.
Also, don’t share random information on your blog, do your thorough research before publishing any fact on the blog site. You are responsible for what you write and how your write-ups impacts or affect your readers, so maintaining a blog is humungous responsibility for which you have to be true to yourself.
Parenting is a lifelong drill that is partly natural, partly based on instincts, and partly based on the process of learning. Author Ruchi Verma shares her views on modern-day parenting and emphasizes the virtues that make parenting easier. Ruchi Verma firmly believes as parents being approachable, being present for the kids, listening to them, and most importantly, giving them the platform to be expressive are a few of the non-negotiable aspects of staying connected with the kids.