What Causes Teenage Aggression Towards Mothers?

Teenage aggression towards mothers can be terrifying. Having physical altercations with your children can be frightening enough, but feeling like you’re losing control of them emotionally as well can make things even more stressful and upsetting.

The good news is that you don’t have to sit back and hope that things improve on their own! There are plenty of things you can do to begin turning the situation around and bringing your family closer together again.

Physical aggression¹, verbal, abusive behavior, aggressive behavior, Physical aggression, physically abusive, parental abuse, etc., are some of the many symptoms of teenage aggression towards mother or other family members.

Every child has his own way to express themselves due to different upbringings ad domestic environment children develop a whole different sort of psychology.

Incidents of teenage aggression against mothers have tripled over the last 15 years, with one in five women reporting their child has behaved aggressively toward them.

However, it is not only teenagers who are becoming increasingly hostile.

Children as young as two can display angry behaviors toward their parents, according to recent research from Harvard University.

Do you Feel Like Your Teenage Son or Daughter is Too Aggressive With You

Adolescence² is a period of life that involves dramatic and often unpredictable changes. 

It’s normal for your teenager to act in an aggressive manner—adolescents are part of a developmental stage where they are trying to figure out who they are and establish their own identity. While you may have been expecting Mother, can I go over to my friend Joe’s house?

The next time you and your teen get into an argument, remember these 3 things:

(1) Never hit back or act violently against violence;

(2) Don’t yell at each other;

(3) Remember there are people who care about both of you, so try not to blame each other as that adds negativity to problem-solving.

Lastly, here’s another good tip: if you feel like arguing isn’t doing any good, it’s important during moments of conflict for parents and teens to avoid eye contact because they often don’t listen while looking at their parents – just talk! Teenage aggression towards mothers is not normal.

If you feel like your teenage son or daughter is too aggressive with you, use some of these tips to help defuse potentially volatile situations. The best way to approach such problems is by calmly talking with your teen and making them aware of how their actions make you feel.

Some situations of teenage aggression towards mothers may require disciplinary action as well as alternative forms of discipline, including taking away privileges and restricting access to certain areas in your home. 

How to Deal with Teenage Aggression Towards Mothers

Sometimes teenage children can get so angry at their mothers that they will hit them. If you’re a teenage parent and have to deal with your child getting angry, there are ways to help avoid aggressive outbursts. Here are some things you can do for your teenage aggression towards mothers.

Teenage aggression³ towards mothers can be handled when your teenager experiences a surge of emotions.

First, you can talk to your teenager about what is causing their rage and calmly help them find solutions. When you give your teen space, they will start to calm down on their own.

Remember that when your teen is upset or stressed, they need your reassurance—not judgment. Instead of judging your teen’s behavior, ask open-ended questions like What’s happening?

What do you need? How can I help? This helps encourage communication while giving your son or daughter more control over their anger. If at all possible, guide them through coping mechanisms like exercise, meditation⁴, and healthy outlets for dealing with stress.

When in doubt, don’t react angrily; remember that responding calmly actually models effective conflict-resolution skills for teenage sons and daughters.

Where Does This Come From

Teenagers sometimes think that they know more than their mothers do about everything just because they’re a teenager. But some mothers have wisdom and experience to share with their teenagers, so why not get some tips from your mom? Here are four ways you can avoid getting into trouble with your parents if you’re a teenage girl.

“You need to listen to me when I say…,” or “If you keep on doing…, then…,” these phrases should be enough of a warning for most kids. Parents like to put it out there that they will hurt their children if it comes down to it. 

The best thing for teenagers is that these threats seem empty in most cases, even though we all understand where our moms are coming from (most of us anyway).

Sometimes yelling at us does make us stop what we were doing, but sometimes we don’t want her opinion anyway. Many times this teenage aggression towards mothers is overlooked under the impression of this domestic violence as “just a phase,” but teenage aggression towards mothers isn’t justified.

What do I do

First things first – never make a hasty judgment! Of course, you want your child not to do whatever it is they have done, and you may react strongly because you are upset about it but try not to lose your temper until after you have discussed their behavior. Stay calm. Never compare your teenage son or daughter with other children.

Teenage violence and teenage aggression towards mothers is a big deal, and it should be acted upon quickly and inefficient ways. Verbal abuse from either side isn’t going to help the situation; only being calm would help. Physical aggression or violence towards the children or from the parent or other family members isn’t acceptable.

When is it Appropriate to Punish

Punishment should never be used if you want to solve a problem. Rather, punishment should be reserved for instances in which your teen’s behavior can lead to serious danger for themselves or others around them. 

Remember that teens are still children, and as such, they may not have developed a sense of responsibility or a moral compass yet. As parents, it is our job to guide them in these regards—but it’s up to our teens whether they will heed our advice or ignore it. Teenage aggression towards mothers is not acceptable, never was.

Punish your teenager only when he/she has calmed down and is actually understanding the extent of the mistake they have just made. 

When you are deciding on this, you can also ask the following questions to yourself.

When is it appropriate to punish a teenager for aggressive behavior? Here are some of your feelings on punishment in regard to teenage aggression. Remember, you’re not writing an academic paper, so feel free to be very informal in terms of language and format here.

If you’ve ever punished your teenager when they were angry or aggressive with you, how did it make you feel? Why did you do it? What was your overall goal behind punishing the child? How do you think punishing a teenage son or daughter helped them later on in life?

What do you think about tough love vs. tough consequences? Would tough love – encouragement and unconditional support – have made a difference for someone who grew up without love from their parents/guardians?

Was there anyone who showed that type of tough love/support when you were growing up (maybe one parent had it but not another)? Where would someone learn about tough love/consequences if no one taught them at home as a child?

Teenage aggression towards mothers does not need to be normalized.

Why Are They Doing This

Studies have found that mothers of teens experience more negative behaviors than mothers of children under 10 years old.

Since adolescence is a time when kids are more self-conscious and start developing their sense of identity, they may lash out at their moms. This may be a way for teens to exert their independence and gain control over something in their lives.

By figuring out what causes teenage aggression toward mothers, you can help your teen deal with these changes positively. Teenage aggression towards mothers is never ok; it should be resolved quickly. Otherwise, it could become draining both emotionally and physically.

While you might never be able to predict which of your kid’s moods will lead them to express themselves aggressively, there are some general guidelines on how to avoid being targeted.

Teenage aggression towards mothers is not a phase; it is a very serious deep-rooted unresolved issue that needs attention as soon as possible. Teenagers’ outbursts are often a reaction to stress and overbearing parental expectations. 

Teenagers need their mothers now more than ever for support and guidance, but if a child lashes out at his mom, it can be hard to know how to respond.

When looking for a therapist, ask around among friends and family members; friends who’ve experienced similar issues might have good suggestions on where to look. 

The National Alliance on Mental Illness offers an online directory with state-by-state listings of therapists in various areas for the children showing teenage aggression towards mothers. 

How do I Get Them to Stop

Dealing with teenage aggression toward mothers is a tricky situation for many parents. When teenagers act aggressively, there are a lot of emotions involved, and things can escalate quickly. Parents who don’t know how to handle aggressive behavior in teenagers can feel helpless, especially if they’re not sure what’s causing it or how to stop it.

If you’ve never had to deal with an overly aggressive teenager before and aren’t sure where to start in dealing with them, here are some things you should know about teenage aggression towards mothers and how to get past it. It won’t be easy, but sometimes all you need is someone to listen.

Coping Mechanism with Teenage Aggression

So your teenager can be a real brute at times, huh? I bet you don’t know what to do about it.  

Aggression may not be the answer

A lot of parents just ignore aggressive behavior or yell at their kids for acting that way. But these reactions often exacerbate problem behaviors.

Don’t Ignore

Ignoring your child won’t make him stop yelling at you, and yelling back will only make him yell louder (and possibly do something even worse next time).

What’s more, when teens are in conflict with their parents, they tend to act out with other people as well. So if your son is being aggressive toward you, he may also be acting out with his friends or siblings—or vice versa.

Show them Love

Coping up with teenage aggression towards mothers is not easy but extremely needed.

This can be extremely hard to deal with. It’s incredibly important that you take care of yourself and don’t blame yourself for what is happening. This isn’t about you, and it’s completely normal for teenagers to lash out at their parents – whether it be physical or emotional abuse.

Be kind to yourself and try to keep a strong front up when your teenager lashes out at you so that they know you are not affected by their behavior.

Show them love, despite their hostility. Make sure they understand exactly how much love there is in your heart for them, even though sometimes they may not feel like hearing it right now.

Don’t Forget Empathy

When they are ready and willing to open up emotionally with you, show them empathy and make sure to provide support in any way possible. But teenage aggression towards mothers is not a normal thing; it should be acted out.

It’s not uncommon for teenagers to direct their anger and frustration toward their parents, especially if they feel that their parents don’t understand them. And while it can be a struggle, there are ways to diffuse teenage aggression toward mothers.

Communication is Important. As is a Plan

In order to keep familial relationships healthy during stressful times, parents should talk with their children about situations in which they might get angry. A plan is essential.

If your child comes home mad because of something happening at school or on social media, you may want to spend some time talking about how best to deal with these situations constructively before allowing him or her space afterward.

Talk to Other Adults around your Child

You might also want to talk with your teenager’s teacher or other trusted adult who works at school (such as a counselor) about what you can do together when your teen is stressed out or having problems handling his emotions in an effective way.

This will ensure that all parties involved know what to expect and what role each person is playing during an upsetting situation with your teen.

What Should I Do About Domestic Violence?

If you see your teenager resorting to domestic violence, it’s vital that you take action.

Though your first instinct may be to hit back, don’t give in to those urges. That will only prove to your son or daughter that teenage aggression towards mothers, this behavior is acceptable, which can lead to even bigger problems later on down the road.

• Instead, hold your child accountable for their actions by getting down on their level and speaking with them about their behavior.
• If they continue to lash out after you have spoken with them, remove yourself from the situation—leave if possible.
• Just as important as what you say when dealing with teenage aggression toward mothers, however, is how you say it.
• Teenage aggression towards mothers is not normal and definitely not just a phase; it is serious.

Teenagers who hit their moms are telling you that they need attention and/or discipline. Mothers are often reluctant to punish their children because they know it’s also punishing themselves, but it’s important to remain firm. This can teach them how to express themselves in a less destructive way.

Take it One Step at a Time

Once you understand why they are acting out—whether it’s due to stress or anger management issues—it’ll be easier for you to reach out for help from professionals who can help provide long-term solutions. Teenage aggression towards mothers should not be led on.

You should also consider calling Child Protective Services if your child is hurting others around them, using drugs or alcohol, constantly causing trouble at school, running away from home, and not respecting other people’s personal belongings.

These are signs of serious behavioral issues that warrant professional intervention as teenage aggression towards mothers isn’t normal.

1. Buss, Arnold H. “Physical aggression in relation to different frustrations.” The Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 67.1 (1963): 1. ↩︎
2. Marcia, James E. “Identity in adolescence.” Handbook of adolescent psychology 9.11 (1980): 159-187. ↩︎
3. Farrington, David P. “Early predictors of adolescent aggression and adult violence.” Violence and victims 4.2 (1989): 79-100. ↩︎
4. Deikman, Arthur J. “Experimental meditation.” The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease 136.4 (1963): 329-343. ↩︎

Last Updated on August 17, 2024 by Sathi