The search for true love
At times I wonder, what is it like to submit yourself completely into the arms of a stranger and still know that they’ll never hurt you?
I know you would say that I am a hopeless romantic and I don’t know real love. You are probably right because I have never been in love. Or perhaps you’re mistaken, for the one I am looking for hasn’t crossed my path yet, and we still have some time left before our destinies collide.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and right-doing, there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.”
― Rumi
My heart has faith in the latter. I have never fantasized about love that is depicted in our Bollywood movies or the ones with fairy tale endings. Cupid’s bow has never struck me, nor have I fallen in love just for the sake of it. As Rumi quoted, “A thousand half-loves must be forsaken to take one whole heart home,” and to a person like me who has grown up listening to Rumi, this means a lot.
What the heart wants
My heart yearns for a man who is perfect with his imperfections and never shies away from accepting his flaws. Before I become a lover, I want to be a companion. I want him to love my weirdness and accept me for who I am. I have no unrealistic expectations from my man. I would never expect him to understand me without words, but I expect him to immerse himself in my thoughts and understand my perspective when I open up to him. I do not want to make love just for the sake of it; instead, I want us to lose ourselves in each other, undress the dreams that we have both hidden within ourselves and heal the wounds that have hurt us for years.
The One
This man will be my ‘special someone,’ and he will be the only one who will have the key to my heart and soul, without any ifs and buts. I am in no hurry to meet him, but yes, when I finally do, it will be eternal, and all the void we have felt before will be swept away.
Oh, dear love!
I know you exist, but where?
That is something I have never bothered to hear.
I don’t need to seek you, my love!
For I know, a part of me resides in you
And a part of you in me.
Despite being miles apart,
I am never separated from you
And out beyond time,
These parts within us will lead us to each other,
Thus filling the physical voids that we harbor
And finally transforming the ‘I’ and ‘You’ into ‘Us.’
I’m reading this piece 5 years after you wrote it Neha. It touched something very deep inside. Perhaps one day we shall meet and it will all be alright : )