What Does Self Centered Mean?: 5 Most Negative Traits

‘What does self centered mean?‘ – this question comes to the mind of people who find themselves in the company of a person who is always obsessed with their own interests, own needs and doesn’t have a sense of respect for others’ needs.

To understand ‘what does self centered mean?’, you need to remember there are various angles to view this term. Therefore, the term ‘self centered’ will have more than one definition.

What does self centered mean? Many people have tried to find an apt definition for this term, so let’s discuss a few of them.

1) What does Self Centered Mean? – A few Definitions

Defining an aspect or term in one simple way takes away its multidimensional quality. As simple as it may seem to answer ‘what does self centered mean,’ it’s important to acknowledge the various angles people have viewed this term from.

1. Dr. Michael McGee – Dr. McGee believes that if you think about yourself most of the day, you may suffer from self-centeredness. A self-centered person may tend to damage relationships by not being able to care for anything other than their interests and feelings.
2. Dambrun and Richard, 2011 – By self-centeredness, they mean that the self takes a central seat of reference about psychological activities like conation, attention, and affect.
3. Merriam-Webster Dictionary states that a self centered person is concerned only with their interests, desires, and needs.

Now, while each of these definitions answers the question of ‘what does self centred mean?’ in different ways, they all hint at certain common characteristics visible in self centred people. To completely answer the question of ‘what does self centered mean?’, it’s important to understand these common characteristics in self centered people.

2) What does Self Centered Mean? – Traits to Look For

Here are five common signs and traits in self centered people that will help you understand ‘what does self centered mean?.

2.1) They Lack Perspective

It’s fair to say that self centered people don’t care about others and their thoughts. They lack empathy to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. This is one main reason they are termed selfish.

2.2) They aren’t concerned about Others

Self centered people don’t pay enough concern to the welfare of others. Because they are egocentric, they won’t think about what others want. For example, they may not play by the rules, which may put others in danger.

2.3) They aren’t Open to Feedback

Trying to give a self centered person any feedback about their selfishness will backfire on you. They won’t take you seriously or respond kindly to the feedback. They may become defensive and respond rudely. This happens because it’s difficult for them to change their behaviors.

2.4) They Set Many Rules

People with traits of self centeredness have high expectations. If people fall short of their expectations, they quickly correct and judge them for doing something wrong. They make rules to ‘teach’ people how they like it:

• This is when we eat dinner.
• We only go out at this time.
• This is how we teach our children.

These rules, of course, are unfair and biased toward the self centered people.

2.5) They Lie a Lot

If a friend constantly accuses you of something you haven’t done, they’re probably acting according to self centered tendencies. Because self centered people want to look perfect, they are more likely to blame others and jump to conclusions than think rationally.

After understanding ‘what does self centered mean?’, it’s important to understand that if you are a self centered person, you can change.

3) How to Not be Self Centered

Being self centered doesn’t mean you’re a bad person; it simply means that you sometimes engage in behaviors that don’t respect others. If you want to change this about yourself, here are a few ways to do so:

1. Spend more time listening to others.
2. Show the same interest in others’ lives that you’d want them to show in your life.
3. Wait and listen patiently.
4. Be open to others’ opinions and needs.
5. Don’t be overly engrossed in your own needs and accomplishments.
6. Look for ways to help others.
7. Be a bit more open amongst the people you trust.

Being less self centered isn’t easy. It requires patience and effort, but it helps fix your broken relationships and makes you a better person.

Self centredness is often tied to narcissism. If you feel like you are self centred, you should check this article to help you get rid of your self centred tendencies: How To Stop Being A Narcissist: 7 Helpful Ways.

4) How to Deal with Self Centered People

Understanding ‘what does self centered mean?’ is only one step in dealing with self centered people. It would be best if you were alert of self centered people to care for your welfare. While you may not be able to cut them out of your life entirely, you can still try these techniques:

1. Don’t take the things they say personally.
2. Talk to a therapist or a close friend if they say something hurtful.
3. Tell them how they make you feel.
4. Set healthy boundaries.
5. If nothing else works, be prepared to cut ties with them.

We often want to perceive ourselves as strong people who don’t get hurt by what others say, but it’s important to protect ourselves against people who put themselves on a pedestal. Choosing to take care of your mental and emotional health by cutting off ties with people who constantly hurt you doesn’t make you selfish.

After knowing about ‘what does self centered mean?’, you need to navigate your life. Understand if you know people with such levels of selfishness and do the needful. Always remember that it isn’t your job to help a self centered person if they don’t want to be helped.