Navigating Relationship Challenges: 7 Crucial Steps to Consider

antabikhyagogoi
20 Min Read

Post Author

Are you also in a relationship and your girlfriend keeps hitting you for no apparent reason? You might be wondering if this behaviour is normal or if it’s a form of cuteness or physical aggression. You must be thinking, what you have to do if your girlfriend hits you? Let’s admit that even if hitting each other teasingly can seem fun sometimes most of the time it’s embarrassing and humiliating to be hit by anyone, especially your girlfriend. 

Violence in a relationship is wrong and shouldn’t be accepted by parties. You might have even thought about breaking up with her or hitting her back but before you do any of that and make mistakes, read the article below that might give you solutions for your problem and how to deal with an abusive girlfriend.

What to do if my girlfriend hits me
Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay/copyright2014

1.  Should Your Girlfriend Hitting You Be Okay?

Hitting partners in a relationship should never be tolerated. It is often categorized under domestic violence. This is a form of physical assault only. It is a sign of a toxic relationship and you should improve it or get out of this bond as fast as you can. Your girlfriend hitting you should not be okay. Even if she doesn’t intend to hurt you in any way, she has no right to strike you.

This relationship that you are in with your girlfriend is abusive. Your girlfriend hitting is a clear red sign of an abusive relationship that you should break free from in every way possible. You should take every possible step to end this cycle as it affects one’s physical, mental and emotional well-being. 

2.  When Your Girlfriend Hitting You is Normal?

Your girlfriend hitting you is never normal behaviour. It is the opposite of normal. If your girlfriend hit you then sorry to say but you are not in a healthy relationship. You are experiencing what is called intimate partner violence. To understand it better, imagine if the roles were reversed. If you knew any guy hitting his partner then you would know both these situations are the same. It’s a form of physical abuse and should be confronted as soon as possible. Violence by anyone regardless of gender is wrong and should never be accepted in any way. 

3.  Possible Explanations For Your Girlfriend Hitting You

3.1  History of Abusive Parent

Your partner may have an abusive parent and have been subjugated to domestic violence in the past. This could be a very possible explanation for hitting you. Having an abusive parent is a huge red flag as it could mean they turning abusive themselves as a learned behaviour.

3.2  Anger Issues

She might be frustrated by her work-related problems or other life issues which results in her taking it all out on you. You must assure her that it is alright to feel frustrated. Make her understand that you acknowledge her feelings but she shouldn’t take it out on you in the form of physical violence and using you as a punching bag.

3.3  Trust Issues

Your girlfriend hitting you may be a result of her feeling insecure or having trust issues. She might be doing it to get the upper hand in your relationship. It could also be possible that she feels unimportant to you or vulnerable and to cover it up she is resorting to domestic violence. Make her trust you so she may rely on you when necessary.

3.4  Disrespect

Your partner may have no respect for you for her to treat her to perpetuate violence on her intimate partner. Healthy relationships require love, patience and respect from both partners. Disrespect is one of the clear warning signs that might trigger danger to your relationship.

3.5  Jealous

Another reason your girlfriend might be hitting you could be because she feels jealous. She might be jealous and have trust issues which results in her taking it out on you and becoming an abusive partner. You must talk and be open about your feelings and keep reassuring her about them. Make her feel loved and heard.

3.6  Low Self-Esteem

Insecurity is a huge sign of a toxic person and it is a red flag that should be avoided. This could be a result of being in a toxic relationship in the past. She may feel unloved by you but you must talk to her about this and try to boost her self-esteem.

3.7  Mental Illness

The physical abuse and mental abuse she is giving you through her actions could also be related to her mental health. She could be suffering from some mental illness and as they are often silent, it might be hard to determine. Her hitting you is probably a sign of this. She should be immediately taken for a check-up.

3.8  Impulse

When your girlfriend hits you, she might be doing it as an impulsivbehaviouror or response. She could have no control over her reactions. Acting on impulse often lands one in difficult situations as one acts without any proper thinking. 

Also, check out https://icytales.com/15-ways-how-to-explain-trust-issues/

4. What Steps Should You Not Take if Your Partner Strikes You?

4.1 Do Not Hit Back

Never strike back when your girlfriend hits you. Do not try to reciprocate. Fire cannot be let down by fire. Poison cannot cut poison. So, never abuse your partner for abusing you as it will only show your toxic masculinity.

4.2 Do Not Ignore

Do not ignore the problem. It might be hurting your ego and masculinity but do not be indifferent to it. Analyze it and maybe forgive but do not forget. Red flags should never be ignored or disregarded. Always look out for them and keep them away from you as much as possible.

4.3 Do Not Assume

Do not make conclusions on your own. Never assume things before asking the person themselves. Try to see it from your girlfriend’s perspective as she might have numerous reasons for her behavior but do not come to conclusions by yourself. Even though no reason can ever be used to justify physical abuse, it is better to see the situation from her point of view.

4.4 Do Not Think Oitit as The End

Never let her physical violence define her and your relationship. It is not the end and remember she is more to it. Your relationship is more than just intimate partner abuse. You may surprisingly even be able to come out of this problem as a stronger couple.

4.5 Do Not Leitit Repeat

Never let mistakes repeat themselves. Do not pretend as if nothing happened. There must be some consequences to actions. Conflict should never result in physical violence and you must have an honest conversation with her so that things do not repeat and escalate. Do not think that being indifferent to the issue at hand will be better. Do not ignore it not embarrass your girlfriend. 

4.6 Do Not Make Excuses

Never blame yourself as nothing should prompt physical violence in anyone. Relationship abuse should not have any excuse so do not try making excuses for it will also take a toll on your mental health. Do not think that it will pass over time saying that it is only one time. This will worsen the situation you are in and won’t have any good response in the long-term of your relationship.

5. Helpful Resources To Turn to if Your Partner Strikes You

5.1 Confront Them

The foremost thing you must do is question them. You must ask them the reason for the behaviour. They might have prior anger issues or other mental health issues and if they do, suggest they go to the doctor or psychologist and seek professional help. You should inquire what prompts the behaviour in them to hit you in any way. if it is caused by anger issues, she should learn to remain calm and take anger management lessons.

5.2 Explain To Them

You must explain to them why this habit and act of theirs cannot be accepted. Tell them that physical attack is physical abuse and you are a victim like many other male victims of domestic violence. Explain to your female partner how the domestic violence that you are being subjected to is also causing emotional abuse to you and your health. Explain to them that physical violence in a relationship is completely unacceptable

5.3 Believe yourself

You must believe in yourself if you want the domestic abuse from your girlfriend to end anytime soon. Self-belief is very important if you want to stop this abusive cycle of your girlfriend or end the relationship. Build your self-esteem and boost your inner strength. Keep yourself steady and strong and acknowledge the issue firsthand.

5.4 Have A Safety Plan

You must think of what to do when she does it again. You should have a safety plan if things repeat. This could be seeking individual therapy for her or just having someone know about your situation and adding them to your emergency contact. This will make you feel more secure in case she becomes violent again.

You may also find a place to go in case it happens again for refuge and keep your essentials packed as it will reassure you and always keep emergency contact with associated helplines or close friends. This might be dangerous but prevention is always better than cure and being prepared hurts no one.

5.5 Talk to Someone Trusty

Try not to make a big deal out of it before considering it with other people. You may talk to someone you trust. You may talk to her siblings or even her parents. Try to analyze and understand. Seek support from people you can confide in. Talk to your parents, talk to your best friend and don’t be shy to ask for support and motivation in this tough time. This will also help you get a different perspective from others and maybe you will also find many others facing the same problem as you.

5.6 Seek Legal Help

You can always resort to legal help. Domestic violence is a big issue and there are not only female victims but male victims around the world. Do not think that letting others know about you getting hit by your girlfriend is embarrassing because it is not. You can also file a case against her and seek boundaries in case she assorted domestic abuse again. There are many ways you can do this. You may approach any board or NGO against domestic abuse.

5.7 Seek Professional Help

You may also go to a relationship therapist to fix this abusive relationship with your girlfriend. Ask for help by going to couples therapy to have a healthy relationship. Seek emotional assistance and guidance from professionals and ones experienced in the field of relationship therapy. 

What to do if my girlfriend hits me
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay/Copyright2019

5.8 Break-Up

This is the end remedy that you might seek out if the rest mentioned above do not prove to be of any use. You may also think of breaking up the moment she hits you for the first time and it is very fair if you should do so and never settle for later otherwise at least do not let yourself be subject to assault from anyone, even if it is someone you love. Your partner is supposed to love you and support you. Hitting you is the polar opposite of this and should not be tolerated by anyone and leaving her for this is justified from every perspective.

6. 5 Steps To Take After Ending An Abusive- Relationship

After leaving an abusive relationship where your partner hits you, no matter how much love there was otherwise, healing is very important. You must leave it all behind in your past and move forward with your life. Think of it as a lesson learnt and keep a lookout for red flags in the future. Following are the steps you should take to move on from an abusive relationship:

6.1  Cut Ties

The first thing a victim of domestic violence from one’s intimate partner should do is cut all ties with the abuser. Do not let them reach out to you and if they do, block them everywhere. You may also get a legal restraining order against her if she keeps trying to come back to you or stalks you. If you all share any mutual acquaintances or friends, inform them of the situation and ask them not to disclose anything about your whereabouts if you are not comfortable. Set boundaries and urge your mutual friends to follow them.

6.2  Establish Boundaries

Prioritize your safety. Never compromise on your safety and protection. Try to be in a safe and sound environment at all times to stay protected. Keep emergency contacts handy. Set up new clear boundaries and communicate to everyone you connect with so they understand them and you.

6.3  Enter Into Your Healing Era

Though it is quite hard for anyone to move on from a relationship, moving on from an abusive relationship is harder. It might take a lot of time and anself-determinationon for this. Try doing things you like, and learn to enjoy your company before dwelling on another relationship as it will only be for filling up the space from your past relationship. Instead, focus on yourself and try to heal from the traumas.

Set new aspirations and goals for yourself so you may have a new strain life and your love life. Remind yourself to never settle for an abusive relationship. Join community services, do good, voice your journey and let others know the same. Start a journal, write a book, go to a new city or anything that life permits you. Meet your old friends, socialize, play games and everything else that makes you feel good and happy and productive. 

6.4  Therapy

You may also seek help from a therapist to take your life on the right track again. Take your time a   talk about your feelings. Connect with yourself and get real professional support. Do not be ashamed or embarrassed to seek therapy for yourself… It is a sign of strength and courage instead of weakness and cowardice. 

6.5  Thank Yourself and Forgive Yourself

Never blame yourself for any of the abuse that you were subjugated to by your past partnerThanknk yourself for getting out of a toxic relationship as it is far harder to get out of an abusive relationship than a normal one so do pat yourself on the back for that. Do not think less of yourself and also do not let others think the same. Be strong and accept yourself, forgive yourself, thank yourself and love yourself.
 

7. Final Thoughts

Your final thoughts should depend after going through everything and your last resort should be breaking up with her. Remember, never to hit her back and try to have healthy conversations so that your girlfriend doesn’t hit you again. You may also break up with her directly after she hits you for the first time and it is very fair if you do so.

After an abusive relationship, get back on your feet. Do not be embarrassed and embrace your painful past for a fresh and better start.  

Last Updated on by kalidaspandian

Stay Connected

Share This Article
Follow:
I like to read and write.