Sitting at the edge of the terrace of this building, I ponder on what I’m about to do. Is ending my life the only choice left?
Is Quitting the Right Thing to Do?
Since I was a kid, I have experienced numerous disappointments1 and betrayals2. My parents kept fighting over petty matters, never paying any attention to me. I thought that if I achieved something on my own, they would give me the love 3and care4 I longed for. I wanted to prove my worth.
1. A Tragic Beginning
The day indeed came. I have been announced to be the Managing Director of one of the most renowned companies. The same day I heard about the death of my mother. My life seemed to collapse like a house of cards.
All I ever wanted was to take my place in this house. But now, my family was left fragmented. My father was responsible for it. He was arrested and punished for it, and I didn’t even try to get him out of that place. Hatred and anger began building up inside me. I never looked back and went on with my life.
2. Jealousy
One of my close friends worked under me. But I never considered him my junior. I never realized how his jealousy began to pile up. I felt that he was not happy with his job. I always tried to make him feel comfortable. But he had something else going on in his mind5.
And finally, one day, on one of the most critical projects, he backstabbed me, and I lost my position and power. A sense of betrayal and annoyance ran through me. I was alone, without any friends or family.
I gathered all my courage6 and got up on my feet again after quitting. The path was difficult, but I made it with the help of a wonderful lady. She gave me her word that she’d never leave my side. She stood beside me in all my ups and downs. I was in love with her.
3. The Proposal
The day I proposed to her was when I got another blow in my life. She had tricked me. And within moments, she threw me out of her life. She now owned my house and all my property.
I was furious at myself for quitting. Am I so weak in understanding people? How do I always fail to see their natural face? To realize what they want from me?
4. Was Quitting the Right Thing?
And now, sitting here and thinking of all these things, I am reminded of all my losses. There is not a single moment of true happiness in my memories. All my life, I have gained nothing and lost everything. So, am I going to lose my life too? I am not a loser, and I don’t give up. If God wants to test me, let Him. I will go on till he is the one who takes away my life.
I stood up and turned my back on death’s open arms and, with a broad smile, went out to fetch a new life.
- Craib, Ian. The importance of disappointment. Routledge, 2002. ↩︎
- Rachman, Stanley. “Betrayal: A psychological analysis.” Behaviour research and therapy 48.4 (2010): 304-311. ↩︎
- Kierkegaard, Søren, et al. Works of love. Vol. 16. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 1995. ↩︎
- National Academies of Sciences, et al. “Crossing the global quality chasm: improving health care worldwide.” (2018). ↩︎
- Ryle, Gilbert, and Julia Tanney. The concept of mind. Routledge, 2009. ↩︎
- Putman, Daniel. “Psychological courage.” Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology 4.1 (1997): 1-11. ↩︎
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