Is quitting the right thing to do?
Sitting at the edge of the terrace of this building, I ponder on what I’m about to do. Is ending my life the only choice left?
Since I was a kid, I have experienced numerous disappointments and betrayals. My parents kept fighting on petty matters, never paying any attention to me. I thought that if I achieve something on my own, then maybe they would give me the love and care I longed for. I wanted to prove my worth. The day surely came. I was announced the Managing Director of one of the most renounced companies. The same day I heard about the death of my mother. My life seemed to collapse like a house of cards.
All I ever wanted was to make my own place in this house. But now, my family was left fragmented. My father was responsible for it. He was arrested and punished for it, and I didn’t even try to get him out of that place. Hatred and anger began building up inside me. I never looked back and went on with my life.
One of my close friends worked under me. But I never considered him my junior. I never realized how his jealousy began to pile up. I felt that he was not happy with his job. I always tried to make him feel comfortable. But he had something else going on in his mind. And finally, one day, on one of the most important projects, he backstabbed me, and I lost my position and power. A sense of betrayal and annoyance ran through me. I was alone, without any friends or family.
I gathered all my courage and got up on my feet again. The path was difficult, but with the help of a wonderful lady, I made it. She gave me her word that she’d never leave my side. She stood beside me in all my ups and downs. I was in love with her. The day I went to propose to her was the day I got another blow of my life. She had tricked me. She now owned my house and all my property. And within moments, she threw me out of her life.
I was furious at myself. Am I really so weak in understanding people? How do I always fail to see their real face? To realize what they actually want from me?
And now, sitting here and thinking of all these things, I am reminded of all my losses. There is not a single moment of true happiness in my memories. All my life, I have gained nothing and lost everything. So am I going to lose my life too? I am not a loser, and I don’t give up. If God wants to test me, let Him. I will go on till he is the one who takes away my life.
I stood up and turned my back on death’s open arms and, with a wide smile, went out to fetch a new life.
About the author
Abeen is pursuing English honours from Delhi University. Her passion is fictional writing and poetry. Her idea of content is curling up with a book in nooks and corners. However, her favourite pass time is to lose herself in the silences of the night.
