The relationship between a parent-teen is one of its kind but twitchy. There’s a lot of tension between which is all out of concern. To have this relationship travel smoothly it just needs some greasing of trust, honesty, loyalty, understanding and communication. To be a parent is not a child’s play but a role every parent does its best to fulfill. You are constantly smothered with this one question, Are you being a parent that your kid needs? As a kid grows up, he/she goes through different stages of life. Along with them, you also go through those different stages. “What to do when your teenager is out of control?” is a question almost every parent wants an answer to!
One of the basic things you need to keep in mind, your child learns from you. You are the source of all the structuring elements necessary to build up your child’s character. But, sometimes circumstances and environments don’t support and you react extremely.
A teen responds to an unusual situation according to their cognition. Their responses can get way out of line or control in some situations as they don’t substantially process their thinking. At those times, it becomes difficult for a parent to handle all courses. Most of the difficult of all are to handle a teenager when it’s out of control. Let’s know essentially effective things to do when your teen is out of control.
1. What to do when your teenager is out of control? Communicate
Communication is the first thing to do when your teen is out of control. The basic rule to maintain understanding between a parent and teenager is having one on one conversation. Take an interest in everything your child does. Be concerned in their daily deeds. But, more than being interested; make some conversations. Question them regarding it. Build this habit of asking questions from childhood itself. So they have this set into their behavior to communicate their day-to-day activities. Doesn’t differentiate between extrovert or introvert kids.
You being their parent and being interested makes the whole difference. Or rather, it would lead to a situation where you may be interested in knowing but they won’t tell you stuff as the habit has not been established from childhood. Then there would be complaints like, ” why don’t you talk to me?” and “what problem do you have in telling me, I am your parent?’
2. Listening to all their musing
Listening is the next thing to do when your teen is out of control. After the basic rule, the next thing you should take notice of is listening. Everything they have to say, listen carefully. Remember, you are not your kid and your child is not you. To be heard is all they want sometimes. Listening does not mean handing out advice and comments. Judgments are not attached to listening either. Listening to their mood swings and their reasons. Find out does their irritable behavior has any reason behind it? Find out his or her issues, they are facing at school, with friends or in their social group.
3. Establish Boundaries to have some Control
Setting boundaries for young adults is very significant. Set boundaries to never escalate arguments. Set boundaries for respect. It should always be, “give respect, get respect”. Show some empathy to your kid. A kid needs to know that there is someone to understand them. Making statements like, “Yeah, I’ve been in this similar situation once” and “I remember doing something like that” is very useful.
Empathy is in its place but lets natural consequences take place too. For example, if your child has damaged something and it’s going to cost some insurance coverage, let them have a sense of responsibility for it. Empathize with their situation but don’t cover or bail them out of it.
4. Self-care Routine for Your Teenager
Self-care should be taught when your teen is out of control. Create balance among family members. Family therapy is very essential to maintain semblance among each other. Family trips and team sports help maintain that balance. Meditation, yoga, exercises and family night-outs are some self-care routines that you can motivate your teens towards. Explain to them how important self-care is.
5. Create consequences for them To Understand
If you want your teen to understand the consequences of their troubling behavior picture it in a black and white scenario. Troubled teens should be made to realize that their actions are going to hold some consequences. For example, “if you going to raise your voice at your sister, you going to have to tolerate the same”.
6. Clarify Acceptable behavior When teens are Out of Control
Set clear boundaries as to what is acceptable or not acceptable typical teenage behavior. Clarify and specify the terms of normal teen behavior. Set it clear as to what is acceptable behavior and what is not. For example, “if your teen excuses his behavior by saying that yes I’m a short-tempered person and you should accept it then specify it’s not acceptable and they need to do something about it”.
7. Help Out of Control Teens taking Good decisions
Cultivate this nature in your teen to discuss before announcing their decision regarding anything. This is a simple tactic to keep your teen in control of their situation. Lay all the different scenarios in front of them and let them decide. Certain stuff that proves to be ineffective in long term educate them about it. For example, if your child wants to pick between skipping school and enjoying for a few days rather than attending, “if you opt for this, definitely this is easy to do but not useful in the long haul” should be your answer.
8. What to cover when your teenager is out of control? Discuss Responsibilities
The development of the adolescent brain doesn’t happen on its own. It needs to be trained and if you want the behavior to be a certain way, train it in a certain way. Discuss the effect of their sleep patterns and use of cell phones. Explain behavioral changes and destructive behaviors are actively developing within them due to the poor choices of their peer group.
Explain how you being a parent is responsible for them, in the same manner, they are responsible for how they portray themselves to other children. Work out rules and limitations with your teens which would ultimately, teach them some sense of responsibility.
9. Deny Verbal abuse at all costs
Lay the ground rule of no permit to verbally abuse anyone. Abuse of any kind is not acceptable. Physically abusive behavior and violent behavior are both considered types of negative behavior. Such behavior should be ceased before it becomes a habit. But as the saying goes, “what should not be heard by little ears, should not be said by big mouths”. It’s your responsibility being parents to note down what your teenagers are learning.
10. Practice Anger Management when your Teenager gets out of Control
Basic bad behavior includes anger issues. Most teens nowadays have anger issues. They have no idea how to direct these intense emotions and facial expressions that they are experiencing. Teach your troubled teens some effective ways to divert this negative energy. Stream all these bad sources and create structure of productive outcomes. Workout activities can be the best way to direct your teen’s anger into something that they enjoy.
11. Teach Life skill Techniques.
Support groups and family rules can cater to cultivating life skill techniques in your teens. Troubled teens can apply given advice successfully to construct their behavior affirmatively. In a teen’s life, the teenage years are very imperative. Boarding schools and family counseling hand out some functional advice and life skill training.
12. Set good examples For your Troubled teens
Educate your teens about adult level physical changes beforehand so that when they experience behavioral changes, they are well aware of what should be done. Prevent lashing out and self-harm of uncontrollable teens.
Teen boys should have a good role model example explaining them to what is respectable and good behavior. Teenage girls should have a good example that makes them understand that attention-seeking clothing is just a sign of low self-esteem and to construct character repairing activities.
13. Educate yourself about Your Teenager
Out of control teenagers must be monitored at all times. By this, I don’t mean you should be overbearing and control them. Take notice of all that they do. This might help you in understanding their behavior. Acknowledging warning signs can prevent troubled teen behavior, teen depression and criminal acts before itself. Be aware of your teen’s social groups and their contact. Sometimes, out of control teen is just misguided.
14. NOTE for Depression Detraction Signs
Depression should be taken care of when your teenager is out of control. Warning signs are always there, just be present when it happens. A troubled teenager is usually attracted to depression. Some signs of depression are irresponsible behavior, inappropriate or excessive guilt, and concentration difficulty. Depressed teens tend to be uninterested and misapprehend small things. Their behavior is out of control and small issues are usually extended to heights. Unnecessary arguments, verbal abuse and anger output might be their reaction.
You can get professional help for them. Let them have a detailed perception. Guide and support them through this whole procedure. Your faith, trust and support can bring them back from out of control teenager behavior.
15. Freedom exercise for Your Uncontrollable teens
Most troubled teen behaviors are the outcome of excessive control imposed by parents on their teens. Let them embrace the ongoing crime culture and realization of their action’s consequences. Let them decide on their own how much freedom should be exercised by them. Let them experience excessive freedom leads to incidents. Freedom exercises and substance abuse are two separate things.
Let them experience but not substance abuse. Make them aware that its consequence might not change anything for others except for themselves and this does include abusing substances. This would lead to physical and mental health problems and probably, a criminal record.
16. Guide Object Expressions for your Teenagers
Pose some family rules like No swear words, No interrupting and no harsh objectifying. Instruct your teen that they should express their objection constructively. Objection placing is essential as it represents individual opinion but it should be done in the right manner. Exercising this personally might be helpful.
For example, teen boys are obsessed with video games and play the whole day without break. So, rather than disbanding them from video games; you could simply stop doing stuff for them and let it set that everything won’t be done just so that they can play.
17. Spare Punishment when your teenager gets out of control
DO NOT GET ANGRY. Parents are in a lot of distress because of their troubled teen’s behavior. Out of control teens are a lot to handle. Giving extreme reactions might not be the way you want to operate. Exercising punishment is a good choice. But, not a choice you want to use again and again. Many teens lash out and get out of control doing the opposite of what is expected of them.
Discipline your teens do not punish them. Acknowledge your child’s misdeeds. Other parents’ suggestions should not be implemented on your teen either. A teenage daughter usually tends to be temperamental and get distant from family members. Analyze and use effective remedies instead.
18. What to teach when your teenager is out of control? Blame Acceptance
Most teens avoid accepting blame. If your teen does some mistake, let them get aware of acceptance to blame. Blame acceptance teaches you to never repeat your mistake. Out of control teen is most prone to blame avoidance. They will go to extreme lengths to avoid blame. In spite, teens blame others instead of themselves. Let them realize their own mistakes and behavior and solve them on their own.
19. Teach Emotional control to Your Out of Control Teens
A troubled teen is bound to be at an extreme emotional outage. An adult doesn’t systematically process emotional imbalance. How is an out of control teen supposed to overcome it without any help? So, they resort to unhealthy escape routes. Behavioral problems along with an incline towards self harm and substance abuse at a high rate. Seek the help of mental health professional to get your troubled teen out of this mess. An out of control teenager is inconceivable to control and guide towards the right path. It’s never later to turn on the right path and seek professional help. Residential treatment centers are also available for your help.
20. What to do when your teenager is out of control? Venting activity.
To vent is to have a piece of mind and soul. Venting is an activity that every person should exert. You can ventilate with anyone- your family members, your friends or confidants. Make your teens exercise venting activity it would make their out of control behavior a bit manageable. Let your teen vent once in a while, it’s liberating!
21. Discuss Mental health when your teenager is out of control
Mental health should be kept in mind when your teenager is out of control. Your troubled teen’s mental health is very important to sustain. Mental health disorders can be grave and should be treated critically. The mental health of an out of control teen is hard to functionalize. Support groups’ help and guidance can be provided to out of control teens. The residential program can be of great assistance to your teens. You can even opt for a licensed therapist for your teen’s mental health.
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders states that mental health interference and investments intend to motivate and regulate an individual’s emotional capability, risk-taking behavior, and resilience in problematic situations and promote supporting social networks and environments.
These are some of the ways through which you can attempt to control your out of control teenagers. Remember, no one can be a better person for your kid than yourself! Let them make mistakes. Mistakes lead to experience, experience leads to learning, and learning leads to acknowledging right or wrong. There’s no teacher better than self-experience.