If you are a 90’s kid, the chances are that you have grown up watching the best thing on T.V., the old Cartoon Network!
Yes, definitely ‘old’ because they don’t make them like that anymore! You swayed to the starting song of ‘Powerpuff Girls‘(Yes, I know you are singing it in your mind right now), you wished Dee-Dee would leave Dexter alone, you wished Daphne would marry Fred, you prayed that Wile-E-Coyote would at least ONCE be able to catch the road-runner. You could NEVER let your parents take the T.V. remote away from you when it was time for the Tom & Jerry show(Hands up if you changed your loyalties between Tom and Jerry with every show).
Courage, the Cowardly Dog, made sure you spent sleepless nights and crawled into your parent’s bed in the middle of the night, and Johnny Bravo made you feel much better about your flirting skills. You would make sure you watched The Flintstones and The Jetsons because they aired them back-to-back while they left you marveling at how two shows set in starkly different times could still steal your heart.
Baby Loony Tunes made you go all ‘aww’ while you couldn’t wait to cheer for the Scooby Doobies and boo the Really Rottens at the Laff-A-Lympics.
Don’t you wish you could sit in a time machine and go back to those glorious days to sit in front of the television when it wasn’t really an ‘idiot box’ because it gave us our entire childhood? However, just like Cartoon Network gave us our childhood, it also put forward for us some very interesting theories:
- ACME makes everything!
- You can get run over by a lawnmower, have a bomb get blown in your face, have an entire house fall on you, yet all you will suffer from is a bump on the head which glows red.
3. Even if you are half-dead, if somehow you can get an ounce of spinach in your system, you will be up and about like a ninja, or in this case, Popeye!
Oh, and it gets you the women too! Man, Olive Oyl sure had the hots for paalak.
4. Fastest way to reach China: If you dig your way out of a place and dig long enough, voila! You have reached China. [I think they forgot we have an ocean in the middle]
5. If you want to run fast, you HAVE to start with some spot-jogging. The inertia of motion, anybody?
6. The scariest ghosts you ever saw weren’t in Annabelle, The Conjuring, or The Exorcist, but in Courage the Cowardly Dog.
7. After watching Ed, Edd, and Eddy, even the largest jaw-breaker you can fit into your mouth won’t be enough.
8. To learn the art of picking up a date, you have to learn from Johnny Bravo. Yo Momma!
9. You can also learn how to get hit by them.
10. If you are running fast enough and you hit a wall, not only will you be able to run through it, but you will also be able to leave a hole exactly conforming to your body’s outline(complete with your hat if you are wearing one)
11. You can run across a cliff and keep running mid-air, but you won’t fall until you realize it.
13. Thanks to Dexter, you know that ‘Omelet-du-Fromage’ will get you everything you wanted in the world.
14. When you are poked in your buttock with a sharp pin, not only do you defy gravity by shooting upward, you do so at an increasing velocity.
15. Delicious food lures you not just by you being able to smell it, but the smell assumes the form of a hand and even wakes you up if you are sleeping.
Next time your five-year-old neighbor is yapping about Ben 10 and Doraemon, show him old Cartoon Network because it doesn’t get better than that.
Originally posted 2015-11-04 17:27:47.