Have you been wondering what happens when the intimacy stops in a relationship? Intimacy is the driving force of a relationship, to covet a long-term relationship it is notable to incorporate sexual intimacy as well as the emotional connection between alliances. It is easily noticeable when the intimacy stops in a relationship and things go offbeat between couples. It affects physical health and questions your mental stability as it creates room for self-doubt and body image insecurities. The first sign that triggers physical intimacy is the lack of emotional presence in the relationship.
The concern does not lie in the lack of intimacy but, in addressing that it needs attention. Despite being a normal phase for couples to experience a drop in their intimacy level, not being able to reunite with your partner is questionable and creates room for agitation. To let go of these thoughts here is everything you might want to know about your intimate relationship and things to do when the intimacy stops in a relationship.
1. What Is Intimacy?
Intimacy can be referred to as the closeness that human beings share, However, if you look at the other side the word intimacy has been linked with sexual activities for most concerns, but the meaning lies in a wide spectrum of situations. The word intimacy solely means to describe how close or significant one being, or the thing is. For Example: Being invited to an intimate wedding does not refer to any sexual activity but simply means the gathering will be held with closed and loved ones.
Physical and emotional are two important forms of intimacy however, other forms are holding the same intensity in finding a relationship. Some other forms of Intimacy are intellectual and spiritual. Intimacy has always been perceived as the affinity between two bodies. Nevertheless, it also portrays the connection between two minds, hearts, and souls of people.
1.1 Intellectual Intimacy
Intellectual intimacy revolves around giving space and priority to your partner, considering each other mood, pattern, and work life. Coming together as strangers and developing a bond as friends without hesitations is the baseline for intellectual intimacy. When two people connect their vulnerability and help each other cope with their difficulties, provide comfort and solutions, become a partner in fulfilling dreams, creating ideas, and respecting each other’s opinions, is when you know a romantic relationship is out of the perceived intimacy of being physical. a secret ingredient for a successful relationship is making room for intellectual intimacy.
1.2 Spiritual Intimacy
Spiritual Intimacy also termed as ecstatic intimacy can be described as when two people are not just emotionally available but connect on a deeper level of understanding, faith, grief, forgiveness, and compassion in their relationship. Spiritual Intimacy reflects the core belief of wanting your partner and being with them throughout the journey. It is said that, once you are connected with your partner spiritually, it brings more fortune in the couple’s life in terms of love, understanding, space, and blessings. Just like how two bodies are linked in physical intimacy here, two souls are connected to bring spirituality into their relationship.
2. Role of Therapies in an Intimate Relationship
It gets extremely daunting to maintain a healthy relationship when one partner lacks sexual connection. This could lead the relationships into a slump which triggers both couples’ physical and emotional health. To probe the apprehension of “sexual intimacy” let’s drive deep into the parley of what happens when intimacy stops in a relationship. Human phycology plays a vital role to understand why couples stop having sex. It could be the feeling of discomfort from your partner or emotional distress due to underlying mental or physical health issues. To understand the reality of relationship problems let’s see how therapy can help in rekindling intimacy.
2.1 Individual Therapy
Therapies are conducted by a trained specialist in the respective field to procure the maximum result by studying the big picture of marital or relationship disturbance. A sex therapist can help you revive your sexless relationship by making substantial changes in your thoughts and lifestyle. Therapy offers you a safe space to talk about sensitive topics such as your sex life, the problems revolving around your sexual desire, and the problems that hinder the sex drive in your relationship. You can also draw a pattern to what happens when intimacy stops in a relationship. After attending the requisite sessions of therapy, one could distinguish their problems and can easily apprehend solutions.
2.2 Couples Therapy
Many couples face intimacy problems when they have conflicting opinions about their sex lives. However, leaving your concerns unattended will generate a wider gap in your relationships, affecting both physical and emotional intimacy. Involving a second party in your relationship issues can be frightening to your intimate lives and makes room for discomfort. However, going for couples therapy will help you combat your vulnerability and improves the quality of your sex life by technique suggested by your relationship coach or sex therapist.
often it’s hard to understand your partner’s mentality and perspective through your vision, which also hinders the chemistry of physical intimacy. Being together in therapy will help cluster those thought and build dimension in your relationship.
3. One Wants Sex, the Other Doesn’t – a Common Scenario
one partner wants sex, but the other doesn’t comply, this becomes a common concern when the emotional connection in a relationship is missing, commonly this lies on a wide spectrum of emotional rage and problems they face individually in their day-to-day life. However, this makes the couples lose their charm and becomes the building block of a sexless marriage in most relationships
communication is a crucial part of the relationship not just because it helps understand your partner better but also improves the quality of sex in the relationship. which makes room for more intimacy and a better sex drive. Talking it out makes it better than bottling your emotions and concerns inside you, imagine you are experiencing physical exhaustion or feeling drained after a tiring day and not being able to open up about it to your partner. The concern also lies in what you like or dislike about your sexual intimacy, being able to have an honest conversation with your partner will enhance the sex life and understanding of your sexual desire.
4. When Is a Relationship Considered Sexless?
A relationship is considered sexless when there is no physical intimacy left between the couples, a subtle definition of a sexless relationship states that if a couple is involved in sexual activities less than 10 times a year and once a month then a relationship can be considered sexless. It can be a conscious or unconscious choice of avoiding physical intimacy depending on many factors such as emotional stress, typical work life, underlying health issues, and so on. When intimacy stops in a relationship factors that push people into a sexless relationship are pretty common and basic however, not being able to revive a sexless relationship can create more drift among the couple.
Having intimacy is the main attraction in a relationship and a sexless marriage/relationship can hamper the overall health of a relationship. A sexless relationship can generate negative feelings towards your partner/spouse, developing anger and frustration issues, a loss of sensation in emotional connection making it hard to open feelings to your partner, and feeling disconnected from each other. Here is how you can revive your sexless relationship.
- Address that your relationship lacks sexual intimacy.
- Have an open discussion about it with your partner.
- Consider couple therapy to address the underlying issues of your relationship.
- Follow a paradigm that satisfies sexual desires respectively
- Prioritize your relationship
5. Pulling Away Emotionally
When intimacy stops in a relationship there can be multiple reasons revolving around it, one of those can be a lack of emotional connection. This happens when one partner is no longer invested in a relationship emotionally, loss of emotional connection between couples makes it hard to even hold hands or express feelings through body language let alone being able to interact sexually. Pulling away emotionally from your relationship adversely hampers intimate lives. You cannot even think of having sex in a romantic relationship when there is no sense of happiness in your relationship. The phycology of pulling away emotionally for men and women is quite similar.
Few common reasons why your partner is not emotionally available.
- Being scared of showing vulnerability.
- Lack of communication causes arguments in a relationship.
- Not being sure about your feelings leaves room for a lack of trust.
- Dating multiple people.
- Not being on the same level in terms of commitment, communication, and transparency.
6. When a Couple Stops Having Sex (what It Might Mean to Your Marriage)
Physical and emotional intimacy are the nails used to build a relationship, if a couple lacks either of those it can affect their marriage to a greater extent. If the lack of intimacy is noticeable in your relationship, it’s time to have an honest conversation with your partner. It is possible in a long-term relationship to face a drought in the sex lives however, leaving such situations unattended can drift you away from your partner both physically and emotionally.
The first step to conceal the broken bridge of your relationship is to rectify that there is something worth fixing, once you figure out the loophole it is advised for both parties to invest in the talk wholeheartedly. This will help you understand your partner’s needs and desires and can rejuvenate your sexual experiences which means having a better relationship with your spouse.
7. Is Sex A Primary Indicator To Maintain A Relationship
There is no lie that physical intimacy is the keystone for happy relationships. However, many will beg to differ, if you sum up all the components such as closeness, comfort, connection, understanding, and intimacy all together you can plant a seed of love, and love is different for all. some may believe that to love you need to get involved in physical intimacy, while others may believe that to love it is prominent to invest yourself emotionally. While sex is the major component to bring pleasure in a relationship, being in emotionless sex brings nothing into the relationship.
If a partner sees sex as the primary block of their relationship it may get hard to connect to your partner physically after experiencing a drought in the sex lives. However, if the relationships are built on emotional intimacy, it surely leaves more room for repairing and reconnecting with your partners.
8. When Couples Stop Having Sex, Affection Is Reduced or May Become Non-Existent in The Marriage
When intimacy stops in a relationship the root cause is the loss of affection disappearing from the couple’s life. Affection in a romantic relationship plays a vital role in building strong relationships. However, Physical affection does not necessarily comply with sexual activity, it means being more expressive with your feelings and thought, sharing vulnerability, and expressing love through body language and gestures.
A small pat on the head and a peck kiss on the lips play an important role to rejuvenate your dying sex life. In a long-term marriage, the absence of sex can lead to the breakage of the relationship. which is why it is important to understand the cruciality to maintain a healthy affectionate bond with your partner.
9. What Happens when Intimacy Is Lost in A Relationship?
Slow sex drive, less to zero sexual interaction in a week, and no bonding over sexual desire are a few to name factors when intimacy stops in a relationship. The reason for the loss of intimacy depends on the individual’s life. Even when the couple lives under the same roof the lifestyle still varies. running low on energy, not being able to feel your partner, and feeling disconnected from your partner.
When intimacy stops in a relationship there are chances to develop inferior complexity from your partner. while it is considered normal to experience a low intensity in your sex drive, however, not being able to cope with the loss can leave serious imprints of harm to your relationship.
10. When the Intimacy Stops in a Relationship
Often in a relationship, the realization occurs later that the sexual interaction between couples has reduced to less or zero. However, there is plenty of concerned reason why intimacy stops in a relationship. Here are 5 common reasons why there is less or o sex in your relationship. Here are 5 common reasons why there is less or zero sex in your relationship.
10.1. Lack of Understanding:
A common reason why sex stops in a relationship is when there is minimal understanding of each other. This can lead to a relationship where it lacks physical intimacy. Often couples who spend less time with each other find it difficult to talk about the hard part of their sexual relationships. Which can ultimately result in having less or no sex.
10.2. Drifting Away from The Reality
Fantasizing your sex life is one way to spice up things between your partners. However, crossing boundaries without consent can negatively affect your relationship. Having sex enjoyable is fun but making it awkward for your partner can be slightly frustrating hence, making your partner lose interest in you. To make sure there are no loopholes it is better to share your desires so that there is enough space and time to adjust.
10.3. Experiencing Motherhood
Being a mother and handling kids is stressful enough to make women lose interest in sexual activities even remotely. Nobody prepares mothers for life post-pregnancy. However, it becomes extremely daunting for the health that being sexual with your partner is the last thing on your partner’s mind. The reasons are simple, experiencing motherhood, adjusting to the new life, extreme weight gain, responsibilities, and the list goes on.
10.4. Repetitive Pattern
Romantic relationships often lose their charm because of the same old pattern which results in having zero physical intimacy but that doesn’t mean you need to change your partner it simply means to make changes in your routine that don’t feel boring. Making a trip once in a while, engaging in conversation while having sex, and romanticizing your relationship can enhance your sexual experiences.
10.5. Resentment Towards the Relationship
A sense of guilt in a relationship can become a roadblock in your sex life. Whether engaging in infidelity or getting involved in a shameful act can lead you to extreme guilt that can hamper your relationship. Resentment in a relationship also includes a lack of emotional intimacy, when the couples refrain themselves from expressing their thoughts and concern for their partner, it may appear as a loss of interest which could mislead your partner.
11. Address Underlying Health Conditions
Another aspect that limits your intimacy could be experiencing underlying health issues. If not addressed properly can cause more damage to the health as well as the relationship. For the well-being of your relationship here is how you can address your underlying issues and fix them. Sexual dysfunction can be one reason when intimacy stops in a relationship and here are how you can differentiate them.
11.1 Desire Disorder: Not being able to take interest in your partner or the sexual activity can be considered a desire disorder, this is one of the common issue people face in relationships. This led us to the second disorder.
11.2 Arousal Disorder: It is common to be aroused just by the presence of that person who excites you however, sometimes it may take more time to feel the sensations, and if it gets too hard it can result in an unsatisfactory experience or slow sex drive.
11.3 Orgasm Disorder: If you are unable to reach the peak of your sexual intimacy it means something needs fixing.
11.4 Pain During Sex: If you are experiencing pain during sex, it is a sign that you need to see a doctor before it creates more complications in your sex life.
12. At the High-Impact Stage or Marital State, Couples can Barely Stand to be Around Each Other
Losing the emotional touch in a relationship is also a concerning factor when intimacy stops in a relationship. After spending years with your partner, the feeling of remorse, frustration, and hectic life surrounds the relationship which results in losing the grip of your relationship. The best belief is couples who have conflicting opinions find it hard to maintain a healthy relationship due t the ongoing debate concerning many aspects of their life. The climax results in growing apart from each other.
The other part also explains the lack of emotional connections between couples which refrains them from solving conflicts. Lack of compassion in a relationship often leads two couples to fall out of love which results in developing harsh feelings for one another and a reason for the lack of intimacy. To avoid being in that phase of your relationship it is suggested to understand each other’s perspective, be open to suggestions and bring reality into the sex lives, and offer each other a supportive stand.
From the above discussion, we can draw a pattern on what happens when intimacy stops in a relationship and the simple answer is that it increases the chances of couples growing apart from each other. To not let that happen you can simply be involved more in your relationship by prioritizing your commitments and understanding the feelings, and concerns of your partners to fill the gap in your sexual intimacy in your relationship.
Shivangi is a writer who can put thoughts into words that touch the heart. She aims to create content that is relatable, comforting and helps people cope with their sufferings. She hopes that her writing will bring you comfort.
Soon to pursue a degree in writing but until then she has been sharing her stories through words for more than a year and wants to reach as many people as she can with her writing.
Her writings are quite different where you can find inspiration to live life better and also know about interesting facts that you might have never known.