How to be dominant in bed as an improvement to your sex life? We can see many shows that show BDSM. They make it interesting and improve your sexual health. Tell me the most important part about having a partner.
Being a good dominant during sex can be quite sexy when done with the right attitude and consent. However, many men feel uncomfortable asserting their sexual power and are kinky in the bedroom. Now, if one’s partner doesn’t want a more dominating male in the boudoir, that’s not a problem. But many people do. So, it would help to master a few tricks if you want to win their favor which would help you gain confidence in your sex life.
Read more about this in this article.
1) What Makes a Person Dominant?
People with high dominance motivations are more concerned with achieving respect and social attention. Thus, dominant motivations are associated with setting life goals that have an intrinsic attraction, such as fame or wealth.
2) When Reality Doesn’t Live up To the Fantasy
Until now, you thought your partner was enamored by you controlling him, the scene generally went well, and this funky play would enhance your sex life too. I’d like to know why. Sometimes trying on this role can backfire and even not work. These are just a few reasons for the difference between real life and fantasy.
It is heartbreaking to take advantage of someone who doesn’t enjoy it. When someone calls you back, you will not get the same thing. But that isn’t morally right to force someone to surrender. It would help if you considered these things before you started.
3) It’s Not One Giant Leap
Getting into a dangerous position can be hazardous, but you can avoid this. Or worse, you may be a victim of a serious accident. Even if you end up dominating your man hardcore with whips or blades, do not expect to do it from the start. Learning how to dominate a relationship takes time. Having strong dominant qualities requires knowledge. It would help if you did less intense or extreme activities (remind me of how much energy a player could exchange for a certain thing). It’s also easier if something happens and you dominate the situation, so it’s your duty as a leader.
4) Be Understanding
Of course, asserting dominance in your romantic relationship or indulging your dominant side can increase your sex life quality and sexual health to a great extent. If you’re also interested in something, whether the dominant one or in the driver’s seat participating in dominant and submissive roles, you can take professional advice and engage in the BDSM community.
Start slow with low pressure in your approach to power exchange in the bedroom. It would help if you didn’t do it to win a new partner or to take control of your relationship. It could be time to explore a sexual kink that appeals to both of you if you feel uncomfortable role-playing with your spouse sexually, using dirty talk, or BDSM practices.
Always remember that you are in charge of your sexual pleasure and sex life. Make sure these BDSM play or erotic practices are in full consent with your partner.
5) What are the Power Dynamics of Sexual Dominance?
Before learning ‘how to be dominant,’ you’ll have to learn about what sexual dominance is. We have heard about how to embody a dominant role in any relationship, professional or personal. But what about in bed?
Dominant sex or sexual domination is about a set of behaviors and rules that involve controlling one’s partner (submissive) for pleasure with the theme of power exchange.
One plays the dominant role, and the other is the submissive role. Each one has roles to play and rules to follow.
The dominant and submissive roles fall under BDSM. BDSM stands for bondage, dominance/submission, sadism, and masochism. A lot of bondage gear and role play with sexual practices like erotic spanking is also included.
Now, we’ll focus on how to engage in sexual practices to make you dominant in bed for your partner.
6) What are the Responsibilities of a Dominant?
Before we proceed with the fun stuff of power play of how to be dominant in bed and the ways you can pleasure your partner, we first need to understand the roles of the dominant partner.
Do you think it’s time to dominate your husband or wife during sex? Are you tired because you are submissive in sex? Do you want the power dynamics of fifty shades? Then, start by familiarizing yourself with these responsibilities.
- You take control over everything, not in the relationship but sex.
- Your pleasure matters for your well-being.
- You can punish but without inflicting pain during impact play.
- You prioritize your desires and pleasure.
- You only allow obedience and expect your submissive partner to respect you.
7) Stay Safe & Know the Risks
Remember, though, that playing like before isn’t necessarily dangerous. Even “vanilla sex” can be hazardous and may cause birth defects, STIs, other injuries, or deaths. Something you do thousands of times may not work out. In kink scenes, an acronym translates to RACK, which means risk consciousness. It means all you do is consensual, and you must recognize the inherent risk. More about RACK can be found here in the Basic Rules for BDSM. Keeping these rules in mind is essential in dominating your man. This will help reduce the risks associated with kinky acts.
8) How to not Cross Any Boundaries in Sexual Relationships?
Before you ask this burning question of how to be dominant, we, first, need to address how to be dominant and submissive in all erotic practices, says every sex educator and Men’s Health.
Before you get naked, talk to your partner about which things are on the table and which are not. Thus, start slow. You can do this right before having sex or talk about safe words, which require you to stop immediately, enforcing boundaries. Do this before you start with the dirty talk or role-play ideas.
That way, according to professional advice, you can directly get into your dominant and submissive roles when aroused.
Be fully aware of your partner’s boundaries in the relationship and respect the fact that boundaries are different for each person. Your new partner may not have the same submissive attitude to your dominant behavior as one partner may have done previously.
But if you want to become more dominant in the bedroom and you simply have no idea where to begin, my friend, this article is just for you. Here are 20 tips to have great sex with a flavor of kinky activities, practice BDSM, and utilize the sexual tension in your relationship for the ultimate sexual pleasure and the well-being of your sex life. Here are 20 tips for how to be dominant in bed.
8.1) Preparing Your Scene
Generally, it is a bad idea to start your scenes right away. There must be preparation. Several preparatory activities are described here, like buying the tools and setting up the scene. These include paddles, bondage gear, lube, and other necessities but can be extended to safety gear ranging from safety shears for medical purposes to first aid kits and other safety equipment. Gather the necessary information on them.
8.2) Make Little Changes in Behavior
A Batman’s voice is not required for you to indicate your dominant role if it’s not the role-playing idea you are going for in sex. If you start very aggressively, it may make the person uncomfortable, and you might decrease your sexual pleasure in your relationship. It is high time that people realize BDSM, kinky play, and taking control of their sex life is a gradual process, not a rushed one.
8.3) Looking into Each Other’s Eyes
Maintaining a steady gaze with your partner is the sexiest thing you can do to show your dominant behavior in the bedroom. Nothing is more sexually arousing when the dominant partner looks straight into the submissive partner and orders them to engage in oral sex. The power exchange between the dominant and the submissive partner is truly kinky and sexy.
8.4) Pulling Hair
If the dominant person masters the art of hair pulling, it could benefit their sex life. You can pull your partner’s hair while trying out sex positions and when the submissive is performing oral sex. It’s one of the best ways to prove your dominant behavior in your sex life. First, just simply run your fingers through your partner’s (in this case, the submissive) hair and slowly start pulling their hair with gentle force. Only apply stronger pressure if the person allows it.
Read the article on safely pulling hair during sex.
8.5) Talk Dirty
Sex educators advise using words like “daddy,” “sir,” and “master” to indicate who is in charge during the power play. Use the words that give you more dominant behavior in bed. Do not be afraid of talking dirty while performing oral sex, erotic spanking, or engaging in BDSM play. Use words to describe how you are feeling when your submissive is performing oral sex or when you are using any sex toys on your partner. Not only you, but even the submissive one can use phrases like “punish me harder” to increase the sexual tension of impact play. You can also use relevant terms for the appropriate role-playing scenario.
Watch this YouTube video to learn how to dirty talk.
8.6) Give Positive Affirmations to the Submissive
Inform them of your satisfaction seductively and positively. Saying something like “What a good girl” or “I’m extremely impressed with your slutty mouth” may keep the conversation light and let your partner know they’re doing a good job. This will show your dominant behavior in the relationship and tell your submissive partner to ask for more praise.
8.7) Use Your Bodyweight
If your partner is ready for it, you can tie them up, but you don’t have to go that far to make yourself the known dominant. You can lean against a wall to kiss your lover or wrap your arms around them when you lie on top so they can feel your weight. This almost adds a BDSM play feel to the act.
8.8) Don’t Ask, Tell
Asking is not intended as a request for consent; you should always make that request. But suppose your partner becomes closer to you than you’d want. Look them in the eyes and say, “slower,” instead of asking them to proceed more slowly. Make sure to let them know with a moan or other sound that the instruction was a command, and they executed it flawlessly. Also, always have different safe words for different scenarios of impact play. You could have one when you want your partner to go slow and fast and one to immediately stop.
8.9) Don’t Forget Aftercare
Any activity that involves a power exchange must include sexual aftercare. You should aid your partner in processing, decompression, and recovery after a sexual experience. Simply holding them, asking them how they’re feeling, providing them water to drink, and snuggling with them under a warm blanket can do this. Afterward, ask them what they need, and be sure to check in on them the following day. Don’t forget that you are in a relationship; the power exchange ends after the sex. You have a responsibility to take care of that individual after you have given their power back if you are fortunate enough to have someone submit their authority to make you the dominant.
Suggested Reading: 9 Tips for Relationships: How To Be a Better Lover
8.10) Wear Something Intimidating and Seductive
Next, you must consider what you’ll wear once you’re in character. You must dress for the part if you wish to resemble those gorgeous ladies in powerful sex roles.
Get some sexy costumes or those seductive latex costumes if you have the time. When you dress appropriately, your lover will undoubtedly appreciate the effort, and you’ll feel more confident in your sex life and relationship.
8.11) Allow Your Partner to Worship Your Body
Allow your partner to adore every inch of you as you begin to rule them. You can massage your partner’s body with oil or offer them the “opportunity” to kiss your body.
Allow your spouse to lavish you with exquisite kisses while allowing them to carefully and lovingly touch every area of your body with their hands.
8.12) Blindfold and Tie Your Partner
Partners engage in harsh or domineering sex play, which is highly frequent and desired. A dominant person may use a blindfold or a tie to tie the other person’s wrists or feet to signify authority during sex if you don’t have sex toys like handcuffs and ropes. Later, you may re-tie it around your eyes. Remember to communicate the use of safe words if things get too overboard.
8.13) Be Your Partner’s Boss
If you want to know how to be dominant in bed or exert your sexual authority on your submissive, you first need to learn how to be bossy.
You have to take charge when you are the dominant partner, and you can only do so if you know how to be bossy. You must be persuasive and firm in everything you do, including your actions, stance, the way you speak, and all of your demands.
Boss your lover around and demand services from him. You are the boss, and he is submissive, after all. Although a woman being dominant over a guy in a relationship is uncommon, a woman may do the same to a man in bed.
Use this opportunity to show him who is the dominant partner, and don’t forget to demand that he calls you whatever you like. Of course, if your submissive acts inappropriately, don’t forget to discipline him.
8.14) Choose Sex Positions Where You Have Control
You may also pick the sex position you want to attempt. Make certain that you have total control over this position.
Tie your lover to a chair or bed, then start penetrating them before beginning to enjoy them. The Dominant experiences such passion when they witness their partner losing control, and the Submissive is equally powerless and aroused by this sexual act.
These kinds of sexual play might make your orgasm more intense.
8.15) Try Roleplaying
Here’s another way that dominance may spice up your sex. Try acting out scenarios with your spouse, and pick roles where you are the boss.
You may act in various roles, like the strict teacher to a student, the hot boss to your secretary, the CEO to your trusty staff, and many other dominating ideas.
Don’t be afraid to spend money on toys and costumes, and be in character.
8.16) Experiment with Sex Toys
Why not put some sex toys in your shopping basket while you’re buying restraints?
Male and female domination also requires toys. Try blindfolds, hoods, collars, gags, and even floggers. They make it more fun and arousing.
8.17) Tease Your Partner
When playing the dom partner, restrains will be your absolute favorite. Start by making fun of your spouse. Slow kisses during the dirty talk, licking and touching each other, can increase the sexual dominance of one partner over the other person’s level of enjoyment.
You will feel in charge as you inquire about your partner’s feelings. Make them want more before deciding how to move forward.
You may even request a taste of yourself from your partner for pleasure. Erotically touch the person in the submissive role before they beg you to stop. Tease your lover till you both can no longer resist.
8.18) Control the Climax of Your Partner
It becomes naughtier in this section. Controlling your partner’s climax for the greatest pleasure is one of the finest things to know about ‘how to be dominant’ in bed.
Stop thrusting when you realize your partner is already on the verge of orgasm. Make sure the person who is in the submissive role is also constrained.
This will make your partner plead for you not to stop, but being dominant, you don’t give in.
Observe with pleasure while your partner enjoys pain.
8.19) Try Bondage
Restraints are used in light or basic bondage gear, but what if you want to do more? It would be best if you first discussed it.
Role-playing with sex toys is a good place to start. Start by using floggers, gags, or even whips. When your submissive disobeys you, you can use them as punishment instruments. Mild bondage is pleasant and may even enhance your mutual sexual pleasure.
How to be dominant with bondage gear? Read this article.
8.20) Have a Safe Word
‘How to be dominant’ also revolves around keeping your partner safe and comfortable during sex. Now that we are talking about bondage ensure you don’t forget the most important item – safe words.
A phrase that both of you choose serves as a safe word.
You have to mention the safe word to stop role-playing or spanking if it becomes painful or if one of you isn’t enjoying it anymore.
Quite steamy, no? Exploring each other’s sexual potential while having fun in bed is a great approach to building intimacy and enforcing your sexual dominance.
9) Taking it Beyond the Bedroom
Discover the D/S relationship. While the question of how to be dominant primarily focuses on establishing a dominant role on bedside tables, some people occupy dominating positions outside the bedroom. If you want more than some sleepy entertainment, you can develop the relationship into a D/S relationship ( D/S means dominant/submissive). Also called total power exchange, this relationship enables the greatest power and the largest responsibility to dominant forces.
I hope this article gives you a start on ‘how to be dominant‘ in your sexual life. It’s your life, but respect your partner’s wishes and treat them well! Have fun, tease, try new things and even seek help if you want to! I hope you experiment, research, and understand more about dominant sexual behavior and your sexual desires.