want to know how to be a better lover? We can help!
Every relationship is simple, and we are the ones who complicate things that lead the sailing ship to sink. When we find the right person on time, we keep ourselves conscious of messing it up.
We see in the movies toxic behavior, toxic character, and the wrong idea of being cool. The sad part is that we entertain this behavior and steal most of our personality from what we see without analyzing it.
This brings a huge impact on relationships. Sometimes without knowing, you are giving mental health issues and trauma to the person you love.
At last, all living carve for love. A balance between good love and good lust could be the best combination for a healthy relationship.
Read this article to treat your lover right and build yourself a better lover. This article will help you be the best version of yourself as a good lover.
Intimacy and long-term relationship
Physical connection is not the only type of intimacy. There are five kinds of intimacy. The balance of these five intimacies aids in a healthy and happy long-term relationship.
#1. Emotional intimacy
Like love, anger, fear, anxiety, depression, regret, and quitting, negative thought is also an emotion. Emotional connection opens up the mind and heart to your partner, which is essential in a relationship.
You could give and receive the same when you show your vulnerable side with reassurance, positive assurance, and comfort zone without any judgment, without using against them, and creating a situation where you could have second thoughts.
#2. Intellectual intimacy
Intellectual means acceptance of one’s point of view and opinion. Create a space where your partners’ opinions are respected and valued though they differ from yours.
Even avoiding topics and conversations feeling that it might cause a problem, fight, and argument between lovers is toxic.
Which ultimately causes more minor communication trust issues and destroys safe space. You will miss out on the wholesome of relationship happiness.
#3. Recreational intimacy
The more personal or alone time you spend with your partner, the more memories are created. It is not just about being in the same room, same house, or sitting beside each other.
It is talking with your partner, spending time together in the evening at the terrace, and doing your favorite activity like hobbies and games. You get to cherish the moments and feel loved and loving your partner.
This is as important as other intimacy. Having valuable time for your partner gives happy moments to recall and helps have conversation topics.
#4. Spiritual intimacy
The belief in high power could be religion, meditation, universal power, or nature’s power could give hope, faith, and unity with your partner.
Spending time with your partner and having a spiritual connection would help you become a better lover.
#5. Physical intimacy
Physical connection is important for a relationship. A simple touch, hug, a back rub, or kiss ease the pain and make you feel at home.
An excellent physical intimacy connection can be satisfied only when the relationship has achieved all four other intimacy.
Having a relationship without the other four intimacy is equal to no relationship.
The secret for long term relationships: How to be a better lover
The widely recognized secret for long-term connection worldwide will be discussed below. The two essential things for long-term relationships are communication and friendship.
You should feel that you could have a conversation with that person in your old age. It should feel like no matter how many years pass by, and you will always have something to talk about.
Communication should always be open, clear, and two-sided.
You should be able to be a friend version of a partner. Friendship will help stop being over-productive, ownership behavior, and dominant actions.
Instead, with friendship, we become the supportive, safe space provider, personal space giver, and could be the cheerleader for their personal or professional goals.
A space for independence and personal life while in a relationship will build a stronger relationship. Letting them free, having fun, and accepting them as they are results from friendship.
Build a toxic-free relationship and environment for your partner as we have all gone through some dark life; let us not give them one too from us. This helps you to be a better partner.
3. Find your love language.
We sometimes find ourselves in the war of feeling disconnected, trouble in understanding, and always only problems in relationships. This might be because of not understanding their love language.
Let us learn the love languages. There are five love languages. Some might have all five languages but at different levels.
You should order your Love languages based on your need in the relationship. Sometimes you can find your love languages by what kind of love language you show.
4. Affirmation words
For some people, words are essential.
A compliment from their partner will make their day. A simple word of appreciation for their task will boost their mood and confidence.
Sometimes they want reassurance. ‘I love you’ and ‘I want a relationship with you, and only you could help them from drowning themselves in negative thoughts when nothing bad is going to happen.
You must be expressive in a relationship, and it is vital for building trust.
5. Quality time
For some people spending a day together is essential. They wish to have a fun time, do things together, and communicate their wild thoughts.
Find who is the listener and talker in your bond. Some might be the listener or talker. A listener needs a talker, and a talker needs a listener.
To spend quality time, you might take your partner out shopping, for a movie, or to your partners’ favorite coffee shop.
Or maybe you can take trips together.
6. Act of service
Helping might be your love language. You might help your partner find solutions to their problems with their work problems.
A supportive partnership is what one should aim for.
7. Receiving gifts
Giving and receiving gifts from time to time can keep the spark alive in your relationship.
Everyone loves gifts, and your partner will appreciate your efforts and thoughts into the gifts you will give out. This will help you be a better and more understanding lover.
8. Physical touch
For some people, touch is their love language. A simple hand in hand, giving a shoulder massage, playing with the foot, hair, or cuddle would be their way of showing that they love you.
Better communication will help in the act of this love language. Don’t make your partner feel uncomfortable. Understand their love language and communicate. Have a mutually comfortable and consent physical touch.
9. Show that you care
Showing affection and concern is vital to any relationship. Whether you have just started dating or been in a relationship for quite a few years, you can never go wrong with care and affection.
Both the partners in a relationship must feel that the other person cares. Help your partner feel closer to you, and it is just based on physical intimacy.
Be involved in their life, show interest, keep the sex life active, hold hands, give a hug.
Childhood is when all these love languages are received by us equally. We get a lot of toys as gifts, and we get to spend time with parents, we get to be helped by others, lovely parents hugs, kisses and shoulders to cry, and positive words.
We develop any one of the languages as our primary love language to show them and wish to receive back.
A lover who is not into you will always choose to cheat you, betray you and lose interest in you eventually.
Understand your emotional level. Choose the best for the relationship, for you and your partner. Love is a choice; likewise, understanding is also a choice, choosing to stay and work is also a choice.
Let us discuss this in detail.
Sexual communication and consent
Communication and consent are more critical than the sexual act itself. It will help you understand the interest, develop a great sex life, and process the sexual relationship.
Practice asking consent and sexual communication. For example, communicate what you expect, what is your sexual pleasure, what you like to do in your partner’s body, or even you can communicate about the number of lovemaking sessions you wish to have in a month or week.
Respect their boundaries and desire. Start from baby steps.
Sexual intimacy could be the best sex without even the act of penetration. It develops good emotional connection, awakens sense, slow talk, builds passion and love, and helps to explore your partner’s body.
Let us focus on each specific.
Third eye connection
The third eye connection poses, looking into the partner’s eyes, will help you calm the mind and feel the connection. It could be the act of warm-up exercise.
Good body massages will help relax the sexual tension, create comfort and help the flow of blood in the pleasure points in the human body. This aid to have a sexual act.
Cuddle boosts the emotional connection. Will make your partner talk; listen to them. Some tips are light candles. Have a bubble bath with scented candles, spoon your partner in bed.
Foreplay aid in mind-blowing sex. There is more than a way to please your partner. Ask them what they enjoy the most.
This follow-up will answer your question about being a better lover in sexual life. You will turn out into a better lover.
Explore yourself first. Know your pleasure point and favorite techniques. Share it with your partner. Explore what works for you both. Keep open options.
Many people think making your partner cum is the best act of sex and look at it as the only problem.
But in reality, making a woman cum should not be the goal. Instead, try to focus on passion sex, find the G-spot of your woman, use your tongue, lubricants, a flavored condom, or practice a talk section about the does and don’t.
Men, too, have sexual pleasure points. Some examples are ear lobe, eyebrows, calf region, toes, arms, breath, scrotum, running fingers around the shoulder, a quick message on the shoulder, inner thigh, and forehead of your lover will make them relax and perform good in bed.
This process will help your emotional connection.
Analyze your view on sex. Because for some people, the idea of sex is to have with one woman, sex is more divine, or sex is a more personal thing that they don’t even want to initiate a conversation with their partner.
The thing is, we need to broaden our minds. This will help you to be a great lover.
Things you should not do- It’s rude.
- You should not force or manipulate your woman to wax their vagina or body hairs.
- You should not manipulate your lover for nude pictures.
- You should not compel your partner to sexual activity just because you are in the mood for the sexual act and manipulate your partner anyway.
- Take accountability for your action instead of shifting the blame.
- Communicate the level of interest and how you want this relationship to be. Even after six months, if you could not place yourself in a stable relationship and don’t know what you want. Leave the person.
- Do not treat her in a way, not letting her spend time with her other friends. Do not control with whom they should talk.
Suppose there is a person you find trouble for your relationship with. Talk about it and come up with a solution.
The argument is necessary, the fight is necessary, talk is necessary as much as love, sex, intimacies, care.
One unresolved fight in a relationship may lead to mistrust, loss of faith, hope. It is always important to solve the fight, argument, different opinions with a mutual solution.
Speak about your mental health, trauma, and bad behaviors before bed. So, you both can resolve it without any harsh separation.
Other Tips on How to Be a Better Lover
Check out these tips to be a better lover
Take a ride in your truck or car. Park for a near sky or city view picnic. Enjoy the calmness and feel glad about each other’s presence in your life.
Go to a theme park or play station and have fun playing.
Visit production places like wine companies, strawberry farms, chocolate factories and have fun doing the joined activities.
If you are a book lover, take a meet at a book cafe or a reading point that runs a small snack or reading corner. Read to your partner.
Do adventures activity together like trekking, scuba diving, traveling in a hot air balloon, or even give a try in attending DJ night.
To your female partner
You can gift your partner a vibrator. A vibrator for a valentine could be the best option for a long-distance relationship.
A cute bikini set with a note like ‘don’t hide by overdressing, wear me gorgeous’ or a note with ‘take me with for the date night’ would be a cute gift for the lovemaking sessions.
To your male partner
Get him shorts, a boxer, a hoodie, a chain with an imprint of your initials or your names.
Gift him the things or plan a secret trip to the place he dreamt of buying or visiting.
Overall, love is the best feeling of all. Yes, love costs you money, time, effort, and loss and sometimes breaks you. Accept it as it is and leave it.
For broken hearts! Don’t stop yourself from loving again. You will get the love you deserve, but you also need to give out love for that.
Relationships are a two-way road. Both the persons involved have to participate in making it work equally.
I hope this article helps you become a better love, and you build a healthy and stable relationship with your partner.