Without trust, the relationship is like the sunk Titanic ship. It’s like the building block of any relationship. But you have seen many people out there who say trust is earned, not given. Well, this is not considered to be true, especially in a relationship.
Because the reality is that without giving a level of trust, how can we build a strong foundation to even see if we can come together and have a successful relationship? It is obvious that trusting people is very hard.
The reality is that it is necessary, you’ve got to do it. But I’m going to help you with understanding what steps you can take to build that trust. Because again, without it, you won’t see success in a relationship. So, let’s get right to it and dive deep into the process of how to build trust in a relationship.
How to Build Trust in a Relationship?
Building trust in a relationship is really important when it comes to living a life with your partner. It’s very important to understand each other and respect your partner’s feelings as well as your own feelings. Trust in a relationship is considered to be a sign of emotional intimacy in the relationship. Trust not only makes a happy relationship but also reduces unnecessary misunderstandings.
For some people, it is going to be hard to trust other people. This can be due to some life experiences that can reduce the person’s ability to trust in a relationship. Trust is influenced by a lot of factors, forces, and social interaction. It is really fast to lose trust than to build trust. It acts as a foundation for a solid relationship.
Let’s see some of the ways that are going to teach how to build trust in a relationship.
1. Talk about Everything for a Healthy Relationship
We’ve got to come in with a level of giving trust, right? But in order for us to build, grow, and strengthen that trust, so that we can work well together and have a healthy relationship, we’ve got to be willing to talk to each other, we’ve got to be willing to lay all kinds of things on the table in personal relationships.
1.1. Communicate Openly
Communication is such an essential thing that we cannot overlook that. So, you’ve got to come to the table and be willing to put things out. And the great thing is by doing that, you get to see a lot faster is this someone you can have a relationship with? Because again, the relationships that flourish have great communication. Always communicate effectively with each other.
The relationships that crash and burn, tend to have horrible communication. That is a consistent, common denominator that you’re going to find in relationships, good or bad. So, be willing to talk about everything. Always talk openly with each other.
The Basis of trust can be honest communication.
1.2. Being Transparent with Each Other
If you’re not willing to be transparent trance… A lack of transparency or even a better way to say it, secrecy. Because by not expressing ourselves, by not being open, by not being transparent, we create an environment of secrecy of being overly private to an extent to where now, it can create or plant the seed of insecurity in the relationship with our partner.
1.3. Being Open to Each Other
If you are not open with your partner then how will you understand each other? Let’s consider a situation where your partner is not being open with you and not transparent with you, how does that make you feel? Similarly, if you do the same that makes a relationship more complicated. Lack of transparency is going to breed insecurity, is going to create chaos, and it’s going to cause problems.
2. Bonding on a Deeper Connection with Each Other for a Romantic Relationship
The second step to building trust for successful relationships is bonding on a deeper level. That can be achieved only when partners have good conversations and be transparent with each other. This definitely plays an important role to build bonding on a deeper level. But sometimes we need to go even deeper for deeper connection.
2.1. Not Being Open Restricts Ourselves
And so, how not being open with each other comes connects to the main point here of bonding on a deeper level, when we hold back, when we restrict ourselves in different ways, when we don’t again, fully open ourselves to our partner not just in communication, but in being our true selves.
Because that’s a huge problem for a lot of people where you’re in a relationship or you’re dating and you’re not fully being you. And by not being you how can you bond on a deeper level? How can we see if we have a genuine connection here?
We’ve got to be willing to do that. It is even possible for two people who are not fully exposing themselves to feel and recognize if a connection is there because that’s how strong a connection is. It can pierce through all the walls, and it can see through all the facades. And sometimes yes, you can see it but you’re not going to be able to nurture it and truly have a good relationship without fully embracing letting go and becoming emotionally naked. And that’s what bonding on a deeper level is really about.
2.2. Spend Quality Time
Spending quality time is the way to make your connection more strong. Here never confused between spending time or spending quality time with each other. Too many people are living with each other but due to the distractions, they started ignoring each other. These distractions are like, they have work, they have kids, they just have other obligations, family, whatever it is that keeps them busy.
As a result, the time they spent with each other isn’t quality time. So, it will be good to go on a date and have some fun and start understanding each other’s behavior, likes, and dislikes. Because without that, it become so hard to build trust in a relationship, and to love each other in any relationship.
So, it’s important to establish a level of friendship for a relationship by spending quality time.
2.3. The Partner should be The Best Friend
I’m a firm believer that your partner should be your best friend. You can have other friends, okay, with boundaries let me just stress that. But I do believe your partner should be your best friend. This will make things so easy in your relationship. It is obvious that if your best friend becomes your partner then you will never have any trust issues.
3. Adding Structure and Understanding to Rebuild Trust in a Relationship.
Now, we get to the third step for trust building in a relationship. And that’s adding structure and understanding. Now, I would say that this is extremely important if you’re at a point where you’re trying to rebuild trust where there has been a violation somewhere in this relationship and now we’re trying to get back on track. It’s extremely important to add structure at that point.
Although rebuilding trust can be really really challenging, but not impossible. So, what do I mean by adding structure and understanding to rebuild trust? Here is the answer…
3.1. Understanding
We need to understand each other, how we operate, and how our relationship with other individuals. Sometimes a lack of trust happens because you don’t understand each other’s way of thinking, nature, and way of living. Let’s say you have a partner who has a friend. And you don’t understand their relationship, you don’t understand their history, you don’t understand anything about that. But due to misunderstanding, you will start doubting your partner. In reality, there is nothing like that.
This is how your lack of understanding of their relationship, and what’s going on there, opens the door for distrust which creeps in, and accusations to possibly rise to the surface. And then everything blew up.
3.2. Understanding Each Other on Different Levels
We’ve to understand each other on various levels that again, we don’t allow assumptions to creep in. Because that’s what happens when we don’t know and when we don’t understand, we start to assume, we come to our own conclusions, and we make our own analyses.
In this whole thing, your conclusion may sound like it just makes perfect sense. And you start believing on that conclusion rather being believing your partner. But, you’re wrong, you’re actually dead wrong. And what you are projecting on them, maybe due to what you’ve been through in the past, maybe because you got counsel from a friend, family member, whoever, who poured negative thoughts into you to make you look at this in an unnecessarily negative way.
For sure we’ve all seen this happen a lot of times or many of you have ever experienced this. That’s why it’s important that we gain an understanding of each other. How we operate and understand what we deem inappropriate, is all right.
3.3. More about Structure
Now, in regards to structure, I think that the structure is simply about again, and this is going to vary from couple to couple. But you got to be honest about what you need to feel at peace and safe and be able to trust your partner more.
4. Understanding Each Other
Step number four in the process to build trust in a relationship is understanding each other. What I mean by that is, a lot of people think that, over time, we can learn to trust each other, and we can build this trust. And this thinking makes them lean on time rather than do actual work on building trust and understanding. You can’t overlook that you can’t assume that time it’s just going to work itself out. That’s not what happens.
4.1. Overlooking Relationships
Again, when people overlook the relationship, they set the stage for a lack of trust to creep in. As we are all human, we’ve all seen some shady stuff, whether we felt it directly or seen other people go through it, we’ve all experienced, again, whether directly or indirectly, this level of trauma that comes from people doing shady things.
So, it’s very natural for us, especially when we’re emotionally invested, you know, indicating this person or in a relationship that we’re going to have some fears try to creep in. We’re going to have that doubt trying to creep in. And if we don’t take the necessary precautions, those things can run wild, wreak havoc, and destroy the entire relationship.
Therefore, it’s important that we do not overlook our relationship and do not lean on time.
4.2. Time does not Heal all Wounds
And I also want to make this point when it comes to time because the same way that people say, well, time heals all wounds no, the hell it doesn’t.
There are people who go to their graves holding on to their wounds, never healing, never resolving anything, all right. Time did not save them only the work will. So, you’ve got to be willing to take those steps. And I’m going to get a little bit more into that aspect of healing and addressing those past issues. But understand that it starts with you being willing to take those next steps.
5. Give the Opportunity to Earn the Trust
The fifth step on this list of building trust in a relationship or how to build trust in relationships, you got to give them the opportunity to earn that trust.
So, now this goes back to when I said there is a yes and no to the whole trust is earned not given. I do believe we have to give a level of trust if we want to have any hope of seeing this relationship work out. But yes, there is a level of trust being earned as we build more and more and strengthen that trust with each other. But for them to earn it, you got to give them the opportunity.
5.1. Trust Issues
What I’ve seen with so many people, and what’s hitting me right now you know, things are always hitting my spirit. What’s hitting me right now is this is a very important principle that applies not just in your relationships, but in work, in your family, and in various environments.
We have a tendency and I say we because I’m going to include myself right now, all right. We have a tendency at times to where let’s say, for example, we want something to get done. And we asked our partner, our work associate, our employee, whatever, to handle this, all right. And because we either don’t trust them or we have a fear of it not getting done correctly or the moment we see anything that is contrary to how we want it to be done, we jump in and put our hands all over it, all right.
And now we think we ‘resolving the issue, but all we’re doing is making things worse. Because we’re not giving them the opportunity to earn our trust. We’re not giving them the opportunity to learn properly, how we want things to be done and it is sometimes not even about how we want to do it because we have to be flexible and understanding. We’re not all going to do it the same way. It’s about whether is it getting done in a way that produces proper results. That’s what the focus needs to be on.
And here’s what they say there’s more than one way to skin a cat. I think that’s the right thing. Yes, so we got to be flexible in that manner. But again, we have to stop ourselves from jumping in and putting our hands on it. And so, how this also applies to trust in the romantic sense is, there’s a lot of times where because of our fears, because of our concerns, we cut the opportunity off before it’s truly given, all right.
Mutual respect is one of the best things if anyone wants to get trust in his/her relationship.
5.2. Give Them a Chance
We don’t give…I hate using this word but I have to use this word. We don’t give a long enough leash. Not that our partners are dogs or pets, okay. But, you know, metaphorically speaking, I guess you got to give some leeway. You got to give them a chance, you’ve got to see, okay, can they be trusted with this opportunity with me taking a step back and seeing how they handle it, all right? So, in building trust, you really got to be conscious of giving them a chance to earn it, letting them show you they can respect and honor your trust.
6. Willing to Try
All right, so now let’s keep it moving, let’s get to the sixth and the last step on how to build trust in a relationship you got to be willing to try. I know that sounds kind of really simple, and maybe even silly. But it’s just important for you to understand. And this is again a quick point. You can’t come into this afraid to try to build trust.
And I say that in the sense that it goes back to the point just made where, because of our fears and concerns don’t even allow ourselves to be vulnerable.
6.1 We don’t allow Our Partners to Have the Opportunity to Earn the Trust
We don’t allow our partners to have the opportunity to earn the trust to strengthen the trust. We are unwilling to put ourselves out there and so we will not see the relationship moving in the right direction. We will essentially sabotage our own relationships.
And so, it’s important that you got to have the mindset of okay, it’s not that trying means that person won’t fail.
It does not mean that trying going to turn into you not getting hurt.
6.2 The Reality Of Getting Hurt in a Relationship
It is inevitable. It is very possible. And you know what? I’m going to say it. It is pretty much inevitable that at some point in a relationship, your partner is going to hurt you, that’s reality.
You can’t sit down with any couple that’s been with each other for several years, many years, whatever, and not have at least an example of where one hurt the other. It may not have been with malicious intent, you know, it could have been without them understanding how this would hurt the person.
But typically, you’re going to have a moment that comes. We cannot allow that to stop us from being willing to try and be vulnerable, we have to learn how to take the punch and work through it. Learn how to not internalize it, learn how to heal while in a relationship, all right.
Because that’s going to happen sometimes, okay. We’re going to have to sometimes bounce back from things that we did wrong to each other, you know, things that we mishandled with each other, that’s going to happen.
But the point is, we can work through it if we embrace some of these other things on the list. Being transparent, talking about everything, having structure, and so on and so forth.
But again, it all starts with you got to be willing to try. And if you at least have that you understand that trying just means I’m giving myself a chance to succeed. It doesn’t mean I will or we will, it means we have a great chance at least a chance to make it happen. Because without truly trying, there’s no chance in hell it will succeed.
Final Note
These were some of the ways through which you can build trust in your relationship. Remember your life partner or the person with whom you are in a relationship is always a special one. Give them the almost love you can and more importantly build trust to turn your relationship into a strong one.
Also check out, 6 Relationship Myths you Probably Still Believe.
Last Updated on by ritukhare
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