Nivedha is a coach and counselor who specializes in parent and child counseling. Nivedha enjoys the flexibility of being with her daughter and framing her consultations and workshops at her capacity, along with providing valuable content to her followers and helping them through parenting, child counseling, child behaviors, and much more.
Beyond that, something the counselor is grateful and proud of is the people she meets every day; getting to become a part of someone’s life is not easy, and creating an impact or influence on the way they think or do for themselves or their child is honestly a difficult one. She is glad she gets to do that with each client she meets. “Sometimes, when people start shedding tears as they talk and let out their emotions, I feel overwhelmed by the trust they have in me, that they share their most vulnerable self with me, which they have done in years. This is huge for me.”
Another beautiful thing Nivedha loves about what she does is when parents take up parenting consultations and let their children be themselves, and text her back that their relationship with the child has improved a lot and comes back to her again & again for consultations.
“I feel so blessed for their love. And after I started my month-long Law of Attraction Cognitive Minds coaching, I saw women transform their lives, heal from past backlogs, and move ahead into a positive zone – I don’t have words to express. It feels great that at the end of the day you are the reason for someone smiling somewhere and this makes me do more of it.”
Nivedha on A Journey that Brings her Close to her Core
Nivedha was an HR by profession with corporate experience for about six years until she had her daughter, post which the only thing she wanted to do was be with her and invest her time in her growth and embrace motherhood. In that parenting process, Nivedha landed on Instagram like any other new mom looking for information.
When she started going through Instagram, there was not much information about the things she was looking for. “Back then, in 2018, there was nothing as much as it’s available now on parenting, early education, and mental health on Social media.” There were a handful of bloggers whose content Nivedha loved, and that motivated her to start posting the things that she knew of. This slowly led to her gaining followers, and her Instagram page attracted them to her content, and everyone started asking for help in parenting.
Meanwhile, Nivedha’s interest in parenting and early education had grown so much that she kept reading and researching to build her knowledge. It took her close to 2 years to find her core interests. The counselor decided to take this up professionally when it reached more people.
“I completed my Diploma in Child & Adolescent counseling. From a Human resources background, my core was counseling and coaching, which led me complete two additional certifications, which are Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT) and being a strong believer in the Universe and using the Law of attraction for 12 years now, I pursued my certification as a Law of attraction Practitioner as well.”
Nivedha has coached and counseled close to 1000+ women, parents, and children on parenting and mental health and is now in the process of extending counseling and coaching on self-growth and transformation. The coach and counselor also have her own Podcasting Channel where she shares bits and pieces of learning, called ‘What’s and Whys of Life.’
Nivedha on Child Psychology and Parenting
Nivedha strongly believes that more than the incident itself, how the child was handled during that scary incident impacts their long-term memory. “Just to be more clear, if I right now ask you what was the scariest incident in your childhood, more than the incident, you will remember what people spoke about it to you, how it was shown to you, and how you were reminded about it over the years repeatedly, that stays in mind.”
Nivedha has seen and observed how people focus more on the incident and forget what happened post that, how it affected the child, was the child trusted by the parents or punished, which has more influence on the way the incident impacts the mind. “In psychological terms, post-trauma has more impact than the trauma itself; if that is not handled properly, the child or even an adult can get into severe disorder, depression, or anxiety.”
This is why Nivedha believes this generation needs a more conscious response toward children, as they have more exposure than the previous generation. “If, as parents, we are not available to handle their emotions, they might be left alone to handle them, which might not be very helpful.”
Nivedha on Things Affecting Child Growth
Nivedha believes that early indulgence in electronic devices, e-media, and Covid-19 has affected the development of mental faculties in children. “Do you know that there is a severe increase in Speech delay in children as a result of Covid? Though I do not have the exact numbers knowing a few speech pathologists we have discussed how covid has impacted the child’s growth in terms of Social communication and even Speech.”
Nivedha understands that communication starts early with a child who is two-way communication, Zero. While using Electronic devices, there is only one way, and the colors and stimulation are very high. There is only an intake of information and nothing else.
“A 5-month-old smiling back at you is two-way communication, a 2-year-old trying to interact with family members, a 4-year-old building sentences to communicate when you ask questions is all two-way communication and when there is lack of interaction children don’t learn which in turn affects their cognitive ability as they grow.”
Nivedha’s Take on the Hustle Culture
Nivedha is still a believer and follower of Balancing work and life together. The major reason she quit her work was to be with her daughter. Nivedha strongly believes that one can be replaced anytime at work. Still, you as a child, father, son, or daughter cannot be replaced in your family by anyone or anything else, so she urges everyone to choose their time wisely for their families and themselves as well, because sometimes, by the time you are done with running behind the new culture you might not have anything left for yourself and others who care for you.
“I am not much into this culture as I see this is now more due to this generation not depending solely on one employment or source of income as how it was earlier. Although the pay was less back then, now when through each upload on social media there is a huge paycheck that can be pushing or motivate the young generation to not look back on their self and keep working and earn as much as possible when there is age and health. This might seem easy but it also depends on to what level they are already into the hustle culture.”
Nivedha on Self-Care, Equally Prioritizing Yourself as Parents & the Path of Beautiful Parenting
The coach believes that this is an inherited behavior from our mothers mostly. All these years, we have seen our mothers take care of others, and in every household, it is considered normal for the mother to quit her job, eat last, and not have time; it is defined as her responsibility.
Growing up seeing that breaking that chain would need conscious efforts is what Nivedha counts on, and even if a new generation mother makes efforts, the guilt that people provoke her with his huge and blocks her from doing what she wants.
“I am really bad at that myself, and in past years, am making conscious efforts to make changes in self-care. What keeps me going is, my child is watching me, especially my daughter is watching me, she will learn to treat her even better only when she sees how much importance I am giving to myself. I keep reminding myself every time I lose track.”
Nivedha has noticed a massive change in new moms and tells them they are aware of ‘Me’ time, and the definition of me time keeps changing with people. “I am glad to see many young women take time, and I did nothing after I had my daughter for two years, which I regret. I do my part in educating young moms to take their own time and do what they love irrespective of the roles they play, and some so many lovely educators are spreading knowledge on the same”
Nivedha depends on being the change and always motivates others to remember not to forget to make memories for themselves in raising children. When they move out as adults, they will have nothing left for themselves. Hence she encourages everyone to dream big and be you, also when you are a parent.
The coach also advises seeking help and guidance when and wherever needed. Nivedha also suggests joining groups and being together with like-minded, non-judgemental forums where one can seek help without fear of being bullied or trapped in the wrong information. And educate yourself on parenting so that you know what it is so that you can support your partner in this new journey.
“There are huge platforms to educate yourself now as parents to be, prepare yourself on the theory so that you are aware of what’s coming, and when parenting strikes, take the right guidance to sail through. Use social media wisely to educate and not to compare.”
The counselor actively affirms that Mental health is essential and to take help from counselors and therapists when you are unsure about something. “Parenting should be beautiful & not burdening; the more you load yourself with unclear information and pressure, it will be difficult to pass through each day, and you will be more focused on other things & will miss out on the little joys that you have created together. A child doesn’t come with a manual; remember no one can tell you how to become a Perfect Parent. There is nothing called a perfect parent; enjoy the journey and be prepared, so nothing comes as a shock.”
Nivedha on Motherhood & her Journey
Nivedha was prepared to enter into the phase of becoming a parent as motherhood was something she was looking forward to, and she was always great with kids. However, there were a few things where she faced problems like any new parent would have.
She faced the problem of lack of sleep. “I remember I cried so much for not being able to sleep because you can’t do anything about it. Having a supportive partner that stage crossed, we as a family sleep through the night now, but until 3 years, it is a challenge.”
Nivedha didn’t think she could breastfeed for six months because her mother did the same. But she completed three years of breastfeeding, and in the process, the coach was able to educate so many women on breastfeeding, which has given her immense happiness. She educated them and attended sessions that helped her sail through. Every day, Nivedha learns new things, keeps reading and researching, and believes motherhood is a lovely process.
“Breastfeeding and sleep. I thought I knew everything about breastfeeding before I had my daughter, but post-delivery I realized I didn’t know a thing and that broke me down, especially when my child was admitted for Jaundice. She was a week old & I have never cried so badly in my life. That night I have no clue how much I read about breastfeeding and that’s exactly where it all started, my need to know everything before that stage made me very well prepared for the phase in that I knew what I had to do.”
Nivedha believes she is today because of all the incidents, experiences, pains, breaks of trust, and so much more that she has been through her life. The coach believes these multiple incidents have a deeper wound on her journey, and she carries all the learnings from them daily as it has made her a better person and version of who she was.
“I have been betrayed by friends (at least what I thought they were) and sometimes by the family which was bad. If I can say ‘NO’ to someone today, it is because I have experienced the after-effects of saying ‘YES’. If I can have my circle close and not share personal things with everyone, it’s because I know what happens when your circle is big. Trust me people hate to see you grow. My list is really big and the saying is very true that experiences teach a person so much. I have had my years of breaking down, but thankfully I did pick up my pieces and raged back into who I am today.”
Today Nivedha is least bothered about what others say because she knows who she is, and the people who are supposed to know her are already with her. “There would be no need to prove things to anyone else. Learning – You are not defined by what other people say who you are.”
After every consultation, Nivedha feels she should meet more women and families and help them through the transitions. Not everyone can influence thoughts, but she can do it and shares the knowledge correctly.
Nivedha signs off this conversation with Icy Tales with some great advice to everyone about what life has taught her and what she has learned from life. “Learn from every experience, set respectful boundaries for yourself and others, know your limits so that you don’t underdo or overdo them, and say ‘No’ easily (something that I learned the very hard way, but trust me, it keeps me so sane). Embrace every emotion you experience and limit yourself to a close circle; not everyone would like to see you grow. There are good and bad days, but you need to keep going.”